disclaimer I no own. I own dryer lint, candy wrappers, and teh computer. I don't even own teh Fruits Basket anime. I only own a hundred or so badly translated Furuba manga chapters on my computer. I don't own any songs, either! I just copy and paste lyrics!

warnings none this chapter.

based closely off of Chapter 84. A lot of text from straight out of the scanlations I have.

bold- Yuki's thoughts from the scanlations
italic- speech from the scanlations
bold italic- Akito's speech from the scanlations
/italic- speech that I made up

Sondre Lerche- Maybe You're Gone

You have been waiting all your life
You use your patience to stay fine
Time moves on as you prepare
to tell yourself be reasonable

Then come the times you can't foresee
you cannot leave, you can't release
to keep you far from those dreams
Ignoring the right times
Oh, waiting was my life.

For now it's too late
for you may not wait
and things that I have yet to know
vanish before they're complete

I may turn around
to see if you're still there
but as for now, it's just not safe
Maybe you'll wait for me
Maybe you're gone.

You've been preparing all your life
You've had some trouble getting it right
And you try to tell yourself it may work, as it should
But something good can do much harm

The good may kill for your embrace
to keep you far from those dreams
you know you cannot dream
I'm stuck for now, it seems.

B O N D: the rat and the god

–n, something that binds, fastens, confines, or holds together.

chapter one: meeting God

When I was young, very young, still unchanged by Akito, I was fairly normal. As normal as I could be with the curse, anyways. I was quieter than most, which was probably because of the fact I was the rat, and probably more thoughtful, and I had that annoyingly constant cough, but I was normal, and happy.

I first went to live with Akito when I was four years old, the first time I had ever come into contact with any zodiac member apart from my brother. I had never really thought about what my mother thought about our condition. All my thoughts of my mother and brother were love and admiration, and it took a long time for those feelings to change.

We had a big house, one that had 'upper middle class' written all over it. Figuratively, of course.

My mother was the rather typical business mom, always rushing off to work and not showing much love to her children. I always loved to watch her, so pretty and strong. I don't remember my father much; he was always away on business trips in foreign countries. I do remember some things; he was always being pushed around by my mother. It wasn't very scary to me, it was perfectly normal to see my mother scolding my much taller father about something or another. She was always nice to me and my brother though, giving us candy and toys.

My brother was never home often either, and I remember wondering what could be so much fun, that brother would always rather be there than here? At that time I didn't know Hatori or Shigure, the people my brother was always spending his time with. He didn't officially live with them, but he was over at one of their houses almost always.

I had to see the doctor frequently, at the actual hospital. I didn't like that doctor, because he never really cared about me. I could tell when his expression changed, when mother handed over a note and a wad of cash. See what you can do. Just up the dosage, a little. Of course, I didn't know what that meant, but I did know that the next night when I took my meds they would be bigger than before. I didn't trust him, after the first three sessions with him. I would always glare at him suspiciously before darting out my hand to grab the (cherry flavored) lollipop.

I don't remember much else, if we had a dog, if we had babysitters, anything. I was too young, at four, to remember most of it, before Akito.

My mother woke me up one day, shaking me, and said /wake up, pack your things. You're going to live with the head of the family! Mother is so proud. I packed my things, and was dressed up neatly by my mother in my best clothes. I was too young to really be afraid, but I worried in the way four year olds do when meeting an important person. My brother had been away at the time, probably on some school trip or something.

The birth of a child possessed by the rat is, as you know, to the Souma's, a particularly auspicious occasion. And for Akito-san, it seems to be an even more joyous occasion than it was for our previous head of the family.

These words meant nothing to me as I walked through the halls of that huge, cold house. I was amazed at how big that house was, but I wouldn't want to live in it. It was chilly, almost frightening, but not very. I wasn't listening very intently to the conversation carrying on. Many of the words were too complicated for me to understand, and I never realized that /I was the one they were talking about.

But… this child is very sickly… it worries me. I'm afraid that instead of being satisfied with Yuki, he'll end up refusing to put up with him…

I had never thought of myself as sick. The cough had been with me as long as I could remember; the cough was a part of me. I could never really understand why people found it so intolerable, and why my mother would think that someone wouldn't like me because of it.

My my… worrying over such things… It is said that between 'God and the Jyuunshi' there is a 'bond' that can't be put into words… they will quickly harmonize with each other.

I tuned out of the grown ups conversation as my cough grew louder.

Yuki, don't cough in front of the head of the family.

I never wanted to disappoint my mother; it meant so much to me to be approved of. It was just as natural to me as coughing to clap my hands over my mouth to try and stifle the cough.

Akito-san…I have brought them.

I felt nothing out of the ordinary until I walked into that room, the room that Akito was reading in. I saw Akito, a smile on his face. I saw only Akito, and my mother's order to stop my coughing was forgotten, the cough itself was forgotten. My hands dropped away from my mouth.

Wh-what's this? Yuki, what are you crying for, Yuki?

Tears had started welling up from my eyes. But it wasn't me. Something was screaming out from deep deep deep down in my heart.

I wanted to meet you. I didn't want to meet you.

I want to hug you. I want to run away.

Earlier… when other persons possessed by the spirits came, they also cried… If this is not what is called a "bond", I don't know what to call it… It is an unbreakable destiny.

I had tuned out everything they were saying, my whole being entirely focused on the boy walking towards me. The contortion of his lips could have been a gentle smile or a cruel smirk. Sometime during my shock my hand had dropped and fisted my coat tightly.

Loved. Hated.

His arms reached up and embraced me.

I finally meet you, my Yuki…

by T.I.B.E.-sway- completed 1/09/07

Don't forget, this is simply my interpretation of Chapter 84. If I get enough positive reviews, I'll continue with more of Yuki's childhood. If you don't review, I'll sit around and cry all day. If I do continue, the rating will go up a bit, for child abuse.

Please tell me your opinion regardless! If you caught anything that seemed wrong to you, if you think my style sucks, ANYTHING, please, please review. It really means a lot to me when you people review!

BTW, if you want me to continue, please give me more ideas! Any thoughts on this, how to improve it, how to continue it, are very appreciated. ;'(o.o)';