I don't own the characters and I'm not making money for writing this story.
A/N: There are references to one of the canceled episodes, Mopiness of Doom, where Dib puts his paranormal love aside to try real science. Script can be found at theangrymonkeyshow dot com under cancelled episodes.
And Dwicky is a real character, if you haven't seen the episode "Vindicated!"

Chapter One: Reign of the Spastic

Dib sighed as he stared out the window, ignoring the lecture their 11th grade teacher Mr. Dithers was talking about. Similar to the concept of his name, he had been going on about the same thing for the past week.

"Then in 2035, a prophet blogged his revelation about Mars! Although, no one believed him, because well, no one ever believes prophets."

"Isn't that the truth." Dib mumbled a little too loudly at this remark.

"Upset because no one believes you that I'm an alien? I mean really Dib stink, you think after five years you'd give it up already." Zim added with a laugh while the rest of the class nodded.

"Shut up Zim. And besides, you'd come crying to me if I left you alone like just you did before." Dib scowled.

The class 'ohhh' ed at Dibs comeback.

It was a change from the past since they now acknowledged him.

Though, he was still an outcast and everyone had interpreted his obsession with Zim as a relationship. An event last week had led them to believe that Dib had broken up with Zim.

Oddly enough, the girls in their class were fascinated about their non existent relationship like women and their over dramatic soap operas. Girls were really strange.

In the past five years Dib had stopped being so spastic. He still attempted to expose Zim, but he now attempted to use logic to convince others. He still saved the planet in almost accidental ways, and Zim still attempted to destroy it with his ever failing plans. They both had grown taller, smarter, and more unique. Zim had adapted to the fashions of Earth and his style resembled Dibs. Dibs style hadn't changed much besides the addition of more black and a bigger trench coat.

"I didn't cry." Zim mumbled with a lack of words. Sadly, Dib had spoken the truth.

"Aww, it's alright Zim. Jim broke up with me two weeks ago, I know exactly how you feel" A purple haired girl sitting behind Zim reassured.

"Ehh…" Zim blinked at the girl.

"Now, class, settle down." Mr. Dithers said with a strange smile.

Suddenly the door burst open and a flaming piece of paper flew in the room and landed on Dibs desk. The flames suddenly went out and Dib looked at it, not knowing whether he should interpret it as odd or normal. He squinted to read the almost illegible letters.

"Hahaha, Dib is in trouble!" Torque screamed.

Sure enough the paper had called for Dib to go to the office.

With another sigh he stood and walked out the door, paper in hand.

He walked down the shadowy hallway until he reached the door which read 'OFFICE' in red paint that eerily resembled blood. A rat scuttled past his foot as he opened the door. He walked inside slowly.

Surprisingly, the room was clean, the walls were white, and strange pictures of unicorns littered the walls. The grey haired secretary didn't notice him and didn't look up from her computer screen until he coughed to catch her attention.

"Oh. Oh! A child, how may I help you?" She asked with an overacted smile as though she was a sales attendant getting paid by commission.

"Er, I guess, I got called down here?" Dib mumbled skeptically while holding up the half-charred paper.

"Oh you must be Dib!" She exclaimed which was followed by a long silence where she just stared at him.

"Yeah" Dib blinked.

"You have a phone call." She pointed at the phone hanging on the wall and went back to staring at her computer screen.

"It's probably dad telling me to pick up dinner from Bloaty's Pizza." Dib spoke to himself as he picked up the phone.


"Dib, hey, it's Dwicky." The unusually calm voice of his ex elementary school counselor spoke over the phone. Five years ago he had left on a spaceship with two eccentric aliens. It was much to Dibs disdain, for Dwicky had taken his new camera that picked up ghosts and was the only other person who had seemed to believe him upon proof.

"D-Dwicky?" Dib asked in astonishment.

"Yeah, I'm back! I have your camera, still. I took footage for you. I did a lot of research and even lived on the alien home planet. It was amazing! They even went to a planet named Irk. Did you know there is a planet made entirely of fast food chains called Foodcourtia? Couldn't help but film that. The food there is quite ingenious."

"Y-You, are you serious?" Dib was completely dumbfounded.


"Oh my god, meet me at Bloaty's in a half an hour! This is great! Wait until I tell Zim. He's not going to believe me! This is great! Haha, alright, I'll see you later." By the time Dib hung up the phone, the secretary was staring at him.

Dib looked back at her and his smile faltered for a second.

"My, err, dog just came back from space camp. Or something like that." He waved as he sprinted out of the office and slammed the door behind him. He sprinted down the hallway, slid past his classroom, turned around and ran back into the room flailing.

"I've got to go because I have proof that aliens exist! It's great! I'll show you Zim! I've got footage from Foodcourtia and of the planet Irk. Hahaha, I'll finally show you! This is the proof I've been waiting for!" Dib said in almost one breath as he grabbed his books and flew back out of the room. Alright, so Dib was only spastic when things excited him.

A kid twitched as the door slammed.

Zim also twitched.

How did Dib know about Foodcourtia? He was sure he had never talked about it around the monkey. Could he really have footage from Irk? Maybe it was a trick? No, it couldn't be, Dib never got worked up like that anymore. It had to be true. This called for drastic measures.

Zim raised his hand.

"Yes Zim?" Mr. Dithers asked, the usually carefree teacher actually sounding annoyed by all the interruptions.

"I'm…sick? Can I leave?" Zim asked which was followed by a sad puppy face. Humans seemed to be strangely affected by things that were "cute".

"Well, you do look a bit green today. I guess so" Mr. Dithers sighed.

Zim wasted no time running out of the room and slamming the door shut. Again.

He needed to know what Dib-filth was screaming about and were he got his knowledge of Foodcourtia from.

"This should be interesting" Zim almost giggled as he ran out of the school and caught a glimpse of Dib running down the sidewalk.