"Hi all! I'm the embodiment of the author, Rei, in this fanfic and I'm here to annoy the hell, I mean, interview the characters of this fanfiction as a sort of after show!" Said the random person that appeared in the beginning of the last chapter of the fic.
With a snap of Rei's fingers, a curtain lifted. Sitting from left to right was Ganon, Vaati, Dark Link, and Link. Rei then took a seat next to Link.
"How come I have sit next to this?" Vaati asked pointing to Ganon.
"Do you wanna sit next to me?" Rei asked eagerly.
Vaati hesitated. "On second thought, I'm good here." He said.
Rei pouted. "Fine, be that way. Alright, first question I'm going to ask… Ganon. What are your feelings on the fic?"
"I didn't get paid enough for it." The Gerudo said plainly.
"But you didn't get paid at all." Link said.
"Exactly." Ganon replied.
"Hehe, but I got paid…" DL said satisfied.
Ganon and Vaati cursed under their breath. They had not forgotten DL's betrayal.
"Okay… now that we got a bit off track… Vaati, same question." Rei said.
"I hated it every second of it. I hate Ganon, I hate Link, I hate Dark Link, and God knows I hate you…" The mage hissed.
"Well, someone's acting awfully emo…" Rei mumbled.
"I'm not emo." Vaati snapped.
"Yeah, he's a fag." Ganon interjected. Link and DL snickered.
"Well maybe I should tell everyone what happened to you in prison!" Vaati said back.
Ganon's eyes widened. He shook his head rapidly.
"Wait, wait! What happened?" Rei asked. A look of eagerness came upon the author's face.
"Hehe, let's just say he dropped the soap." Vaati said evilly.
Ganon started crying.
Oh man… the Ganon fangirls are gonna kill me… and yes people, they do exist the author thought.
"Hey! Author! I gotta a question for you!" DL said.
Rei focused the attention on DL now. "Yes?"
"How can you be here and writing this at the same time?" DL asked.
"Ummm… That's too complicated to explain." Rei said.
"You don't know, do you?" Link asked.
"NO! I do too know! I just can't explain it." Rei said.
"Psh, right. Whatever helps you sleep better at night." said Vaati.
"You could help me sleep better at night." The author said flirtatiously.
The mage had a look of horror on his face. "IN YOUR DREAMS!" Vaati yelled. Ganon, DL, and Link just laughed. The mage gave death glares to all of them. He wondered what kind of deaths he could inflict on everyone in the room that was remarkably slow and painful.
"Anyways… We got off track. So, Link. How did you feel about doing this fanfic?" Rei asked.
"Honestly, anything that involves destroying me, blackmailing me, maiming and injuring me, doesn't really go over well with me. But I ended up fine in the end… except for the fangirls you unleashed on me…" The hero said, shuddering at the remembrance of the fangirl attack.
The Rei began to throw a series of rhetorical questions at Ganon and Vaati.
"Hey… Hey Link… what do you think the author is?" DL whispered.
"What do you mean?" Link asked.
"Boy or girl? I can't tell. It looks asexual as hell! The voice is high pitched but there is always the off chance puberty hasn't hit yet…" DL said, being very careful to control his tone of voice. He did not want to be heard by anyone else.
Link shrugged. "I always assumed it was female… just because of the way author acts. Of course, if it's a he it could be gay or bi… Aw screw it, I can't tell… It's like meeting Sheik all over again…"
DL then just stood up, walked up to the author and placed a hand on the author's chest. It was a bit of a delayed reaction. Rei slapped him.
"Aw crap! We get a female author and she's flat!" DL cursed. She slapped him again. Ganon, Vaati, and Link laughed at DL's pain.
"Only Vaati may touch me there if he so wishes!" She snapped.
Vaati froze, once again looking rather disgusted. "One," he started, "No. And two, you're a minor."
She stared at him for a moment. "I'm gonna rape you."
"WHAT?!" They all said.
"Hm? I didn't say anything." She said calmly. Dammit, I was thinking out loud again!
"THAT'S IT! I'M LEAVING!" Vaati shouted. Then he hauled ass out the door.
"No wait! Let me touch your hair at least!" Rei cried as she got up and sprinted after him.
Dark Link, Link, and Ganon just sat there.
"Now what?" Ganon asked.
"Wanna get wasted?" Dark Link asked them.
Link shrugged. "Yeah sure. It's not like we have anything better to do."
And so they all got up and headed for the opposite exit door, not wanting to cross paths with either Rei or Vaati. Then Ganon paused.
"Oh, wait one second!" he said. He rushed back to where Rei's chair was and took out a piece of paper. He placed it on her chair and then went and rejoined Link and his evil counterpart.
"What was that?" Link asked.
Ganon chuckled. "If she really loves Vaati, she won't mind paying the bill to fix his house."
"Oh that is low… Even for you. But we can't say she doesn't deserve. She's tortured us all in some way or another." Link said.
"Not me, she paid me! In fact, I'm the only one she didn't really torture in this whole story." DL said.
Ganon and Link glared at DL. He had a habit at saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
A few minutes later, DL was headfirst in a trashcan.
"Now we can get wasted." Link said nodding.
"You know, we should hang out more." Ganon said.