Christmas. Yip-fucking-ee. If there's ONE holiday, just ONE that I hate with a Passion, it's Christmas. Everyone's all happy and shit, kids litter the mall with their high-pitched screams and begging, and worst of all, the family wants you to come over to be bragged to by the rich, succesful family member that used to shove beans up his nose and drink from the toilet. The only good thing about Christmas is winter. I love snow.

"Hey, DiCo! You comin' or what?"

Bam managed to snap me out of my Coma of bitterness and I followed him into the house. Not knowing that this Christmas would change my entire outlook on life.

Castle Bam was decorated with strings of lights and silver garland, along with a few blinking Neon signs. The inside was coated with red velvet ribbons, gold tinsel and the illustrious Christmas Tree. It was about 9 feet high with a yellow star at the top. The bright LED lights broke the contrast of the dark green needles and the shiny ornaments captivated DiCo for hours. The fireplace had been replaced by a 32" Plasma screen TV which was turned to channel three, the ever popular Burning Log.

DiCo sat on the couch and curled up in a ball, holding his hands towards the TV, earning him a polite chuckle from his friends who had followed him into the room to escape the icy chill outside. Ryan sat an oversized chair with Bam taking a seat on the arm, kicking his feet onto the coffee table. Raab and Rake took a seat on either side of DiCo, Glomb took the spot beside Raab and Novak chose to flop down on the floor.

"How's the weather out there boys?" April's ever-cheerful voice drifted down the stairs.

"It sucks out there, Ape! It's all cold, and wet, and it's snowing again." Bam's nose wrinkled and April rolled her eyes at him.

"And you say I bitch too much!" She decended the stairs and pulled a chair in to the living room from the kitchen.

"I fucking hate the snow." Ryan said, staring intently at the blazing log, no one noticing his hand creep up and rest on the small of Bam's back.

"Yeah, well we only have an inch or two. Just outside of Vancouver there's about eight or nine inches." DiCo replyed, wishing it were the other way around.

"What's with you and Vancouver?" Raab looked at DiCo, puzzled.

"I don't know. I like Canadian's. They amuse me with their poutine's, chesterfields and their jelly doughnuts with beer."

"You need help." Rake laughed.

"Aw, Take off, Eh?" DiCo did his best Doug McKenzie impersonation, much to the amusement of everyone else.

"Well I have to finish decorating the house. When Phil and Vito get back, tell them to come upstairs to help, alright?" April smiled and went off to finish.

The guys all sat around for an hour or so, talking about this and that, checking the sliding glass window every few seconds to see if the snow had stopped.

"Fuck this shitting around shit, I'm going to Wawa to grab some smokes. Anyone want anything?" Dunn stood up, stretched and looked around the room.

"I'll go with ya, I'm bored as fuck." Bam stood up, his face glowing.

The rest of them shook their heads at Dunn's offer. Glomb moved into the armchair and everyone on the couch stretched out a bit more.

"Ever notice that as soon as those two leave a room, it's so much less tense?" Rake commented.

"Sexual tension is the most tense tension there is." Novak spoke wisely.

"Wow. A Novak-ism, good job man." Glomb smirked.

"Are those two fucking, or what?" DiCo shoved the question into discussion.

"Who, Dunn and Bam? That's bullshit." Raab spat out disgustingly before looking into the 'fire', pondering. "But it would explain quite a bit."

"Man, all my friends are GAY." Glomb pouted, laughing.

"All my friends Are GA-AY! All my friends are GA-AY!" DiCo 'freestyled' his own words into 'All My Friends Are Dead' by Turbonegro causing everyone to laugh so hard they had to gasp for air.

"Shit, I Have to go. Gotta work tomorrow...then I'm off for the holidays." Rake stood up, his shoulders still shaking.

"See ya Rake."

"Bye man!"

"See ya Sweetheart."

"Yo, can you give me a ride to Killdare's?" Rake nodded and Raab jumped up to follow him, shouting goodbye to April.

"And then there were three." Glomb leaned back in the chair, shutting his eyes.

"It's like a really shitty game of Survivor." DiCo smirked, lighting a cigarette. He then handed his pack and Zippo down to Novak.

Novak flicked the lighter and stared into the lid, shaking his head sadly.

"Sorry Glomb. We've voted you as gay...the tribe has spoken, sweetheart." Novak shut the lid of the Zippo, extinguishing the flame.

Glomb grabbed a magazine off of the table and threw it at Novak, missing completely.


"VITOOOO!" The guys chorused

"Hey guys. Cold as fuck out there!" Phil and Vito waddled into the room, taking off their heavy coats and tossing them onto the back of the couch.

"Ape wants you guys upstairs to help with the Christmas decorating." Novak remembered, rolling his eyes.

"Well, nice seeing you guys. C'mon Vito." Phil grabbed his coat again and speed-wadled out of the room with Vito 'hot on his tail'.

"I think I'm heading off too. I wanted to finish building my new bookshelf." Glomb stood up, zipping his jacket.

"You're making a bookshelf?" DiCo asked.

"Sort of. I bought it at Ikea and I threw out the instructions so that it'll make me feel better about myself." DiCo laughed and shook his head.

"You want a beer?" Novak crawled off of the floor and made his slow trek to the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure." DiCo stood up and followed him, scratching his nose.

Novak yawned and opened the fridge, grabbed a few beers and kicked the door closed.

He handed two to DiCo and put one in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie. They looked around the room and noticed something was different. Was it the silver garland strung around the room? No, that wasn't it. What about the 'Merry Christmas' signs that were everywhere? Nope, not it either. Neither of them could put their finger on it, but the room was different somehow.

"Did Ape paint it or something?" Novak's furrowed brow scanned the walls.

"No, it was always this color. Did she get a new table?" DiCo took a drink of his beer and searched the room again.

"Maybe she just cleaned it." Novak said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh, hey, yeah! It's clean! That explains it."

They finished the rest of their first drink and started to walk into the living room to sit around the 'fire'. Brandon was halfway through the doorway when Novak grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Hey, you can't just disrespect it like that, Sweetheart!"

"Disrespect WHAT?"

Novak pointed above his head at the mistletoe and before DiCo could say anything, Novak planted a quick kiss on his lips, then walked into the other room without a single word. DiCo stood there, paralyzed and speechless. He shook his head to regain his composure, and walked into the living room to confront Novak.

"Uh, dude? just kiss me?"

"Yes I Did." Novak spoke proudly as he searched the room for the TV remote.

"Why?" DiCo asked.

Novak's eyes flew open and in a childlike voice he replyed: "Mistletoe!".

DiCo rolled his eyes and sat on the opposite side of the couch.

"Sorry." Novak smiled at him, sipping his second beer.

"Whatever. I now know not to 'disrespect' mistletoe anymore, thanks."

"You're welcome." Novak bowed slightly. "Where the fuck's the remote?"

DiCo shrugged and got down on his hands and knees to look under the sofa. He crawled towards Novak and reached in between his legs.

"Is this it?"

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Bam's chipper voice questioned them.

DiCo, still between Novak's legs, held up the remote. "Found it!"

"Did Novak have it up his ass?" Dunn asked, smiling.

"Did Bam have YOU up HIS ass?" Novak retorted, raising an eyebrow.

Bam's eyes flew open and his face went red as he stared at Novak. Ryan glanced sideways, his own face flaming with guilt.

"Uh, we...have to" Bam looked worridly at Ryan.

"APE! We have to help she doesn't...fuck it up. The house. Fuck up the house...with...decorations." Ryan babbled before grabbing Bam by the jacket and racing up the stairs.

DiCo and Novak burst out laughing, falling to the floor, clutching their sides. They rolled around for almost fifteen minutes before semi-regaining their composure.

"We have to help her...decorate..." Novak imitated Ryan, still laughing.

"Decorations!" DiCo clutched the edge of the couch, gasping, trying to force the air into his lungs.

After a few brief fits they finally pulled themselves together and crawled back onto the couch, leaning on each other's shoulders for support.

"My stomach feels like it's been ripped apart." Novak grinned, trying to finish off the last of his beer while DiCo chuckled and rubbed his own, sore, stomach muscles.

"Man...I'm going for a walk outside, if I stay in here any longer I'll never be able to breathe. You staying here?" DiCo stood up on shaky legs and stretched.

"You're going outside in the COLD, wet, snow?" Novak did his best Bam impersonation, which was very weak, at best.

"Yeah. I like snow. Coming or not?" DiCo threw on a black ball cap.

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming." Novak grabbed a random jacket off the banister and tossed it to Brandon.

"Nah, I'll rough it. I've got a sweater on."

"That sweater is as thin as your hair." Novak smiled, thankful that he finally got to make a decent joke about DiCo instead of vice versa.

DiCo glared and threw it back at him and Novak pulled it on, zipping it up. They walked heavily to the back door and DiCo swung it open. As the cold air hit his skinny body with force. The snow was falling heavier than before, the sky was dark, almost completely black and the back porch light cast a yellow glow on the white powder. DiCo smiled and hugged himself against the cold, stepping out of the house. Novak followed close behind him, his hands in the coat pockets and the zipper done all the way up to his chin.

"It's fucking FREEZING. There is NOTHING nice about this." Novak complained.

"Shut up, Novak." DiCo spoke softly, heading out back to the forest.

The silence was heavy in the air as their shoes crunched the newly fallen snow. The only sound they heard was DiCo's teeth clattering together. They walked all the way out to the partially-demolished treetop casino, standing underneath it to escape the falling snow.

"Here." Novak glanced sympathetically at DiCo and started to unzip his coat.

"Keep it, I'm fine." DiCo's lips were turning blue and he started to walk back out into the snow.

"You're going to get hypothermia or whatever." Novak stopped him, took the coat off of his shoulders and wrapped it around DiCo's.

He forced DiCo's shivering arms through the sleeves and zipped it up for him. Novak's thick sweater kept out most of the cold out.

"Thanks." DiCo smiled.

Novak couldn't speak. The moon seemed to get brighter, the snow seemed to fall slower and his breath seemed to catch in his throat.

"You ok?" DiCo asked him.

He still couldn't speak. Something about the way the snow was falling around DiCo's face and they way it stuck to the brim of his hat. Novak took a step forward and pressed his lips to DiCo's.

Brandon started to move backwards, but he found himself intrigued, anxious and confused. Novak's nose brushed up against DiCo's, the heat immedietly making DiCo's knees weak. Novak pulled away and stared into Brandon's eyes carefully.

"I...I should probably...hit you, or something." DiCo mumbled.

"I'm sorry." Novak lied, staring into Brandon's eyes.

The thoughts in DiCo's head were too much to comprehend. A million things rocketed around in his brain, but only one answer came to him like a shot. He brought his arms up to wrap around Novak's neck, pulled him in closer and kissed him. The breath coming out of their noses made small clouds of steam around their faces, the heat from each other's bodies made them forget all about the snow.

The seconds turned into minutes, the gentle kisses turned passionate and romantic and they were no longer DiCo the Mortal Kombat champion and Novak the Ex-Junkie, but just Brandon and Brandon, two men making out in the cold, wet, Pennsyvannia snow.

Christmas. They call it the Season of Romance. Y'know, It'll get you, if you give it half a chance.