Sasuke could never claim to have liked Naruto's friends. But now, more than ever, he could truthfully say he detested them.

"Hey, hey! D'ya deflower the Uchiha??!!"

"Yep!" –high-five-

No, Sasuke did not appreciate the fact he no longer held his virginity was being yelled across a bar. And to Kiba no less, who was patting the blond on the back. Said blond was high-fiving random people in the bar.

Sasuke hated Naruto too.

"So, he really got a stick shoved up his ass?!!"

"Yeah, but it's cool, 'cos I took it out and put something else up there instead…"

Die die die.

"Dude, Uchiha bailed."

"Wah, Sasuke! Wait! See you guys later!"

"But you only just got here!"

"It's the man's job to chase after the woman!"

Sasuke stomped down the street, fully intending to go to his house, sleep in his bed, and completely ignore the blond boy forever.

Yes, that was the plan. Unfortunately, Naruto had a bad habit of disrupting all of Sasuke's well thought-out plans. Inconsiderate jerk.

"Hey, Sasuke! Wait up!"

"Fuck. Off."

Jogging, Naruto caught up with the pissed boy.

"Really, I'm surprised you can walk so fast. I mean, this morning you could barely make it down the stairs…"

"Shut. Up."

"…but it was cute, the little limp-thing you had going on…think we could make it happen again? I'm sure we could. I mean, I know you were limping 'cos it was your first time and all, but if we do it a few times without stopping then I'm sure I could make you bed-ridden for at least a day…"

"Why haven't you fucked off?"

Naruto pouted. "Aw, c'mon…don't be like that…"

"You were high-fiving people for fucking me."

"Making love, Sasuke."


"C'mon…" Naruto groaned, running a hand through his hair. "It was just the guys, you know how it is."


"Oh, so you're just gonna ignore me now? After you were sooo vocal last night?"


"…Okay, okay. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"…high-fiving people for having you as a sexual conquest?"

Sasuke glared. Hard.

"What? That's it, isn't it? That's why you're pissed?"


"C'mon, throw me a bone. How am I meant to make it better when you won't even tell me what's going on?"

Naruto frowned as Sasuke mumbled something.


Sasuke glared at Naruto for having to repeat himself.

"You…we…since we had sex, you haven't…done anything…"

Naruto frowned. "You want more sex?"

"No!" Sasuke snapped. "You haven't kissed me once! Or….done…anything…like that…"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Oh my god, you're a cuddler."

"No! But…I…"

Naruto grinned suddenly. "I'm really sorry."

"You don't look sorry." Sasuke mumbled.

"No, no, really. I am. I have to make this right. Immediately. So, let's go back to my place, have sex, and then, I shall be as affectionate as you want."

Sasuke growled. "I don't want affection!"

"Yeah you do, you big poof. Now haul ass, the quicker we get to my apartment, the quicker we can have sex, and the quicker we can cuddle!"

"Shut up! Idiot!"

Despite all of Sasuke's protests, they did return to Naruto's apartment, and they did have sex, and they did cuddle; though it took a while because Sasuke was feeling insecure about his masculinity (or lack thereof).

Never again did Naruto boast about getting some Uchiha-ass when Sasuke was there. He waited until Sasuke was gone, then the manly high-fiving commenced.

And never again did Sasuke have to ask Naruto to cuddle. Because Naruto didn't need to be asked. ('cos deep down, he's a big poof too.)