Chapter One (of
Two): I Know It's Not Mine
(But I'll See If I Can Use It For The Weekend or a One Night Stand)
Dedication: To Shannon, whom I love despite…everything.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, nor do I own their AU counterparts.
She's my best friend. And, at the moment, my worst enemy. I love her. I hate her. I don't know what I her.
Oh, that's great Raven. Improper English. That'll get you points.
Kori Anders. God, I couldn't love her more if I tried. She's been my best friend since we met on the first day of high school. Three years later, and she's making me have a breakdown. Well, not just her. Him too. But I can't actually blame him.
It's not like they weren't clearly within their rights as human beings to go to Homecoming together. However, it had seemed to slaughter a couple of those friendship rules, as stupid as that sounded, and wasn't it Kori who was always saying "Chicks before dicks!" on an almost daily basis? I mean, she knew I liked Richard Grayson. She had known it for a year. And yet she still said yes when he asked her to be his date to the dance. I mean, she's always had trouble saying no to people, turning them down (even that one time Fang asked her, but that was only so he could make his on again, off again girlfriend Kat jealous).
Despite the messy situation, I do have to admit that Kori handled everything very diplomatically. She informed me of what had happened minutes after the asking had taken place, assuring me that she and Dick were just going as friends, and swearing that if I was bothered by it in any way, she'd withdraw her acceptance immediately.
Of course I was bothered by it, but I wasn't about to say so. What kind of person would I be if I said I didn't want her to go with him just because of my stupid feelings, ones that Dick obviously didn't seem to reciprocate? So I told her I was fine with it, assured her a million times over that I did not hate her for all eternity (and I didn't…it was just so awkward around her now), smiled a lot even though I was dying inside, and just wished that she would stop apologizing and let me wallow in my misery. I did it because that's what friends do. They don't get in each other's way.
The more resentful part of me wonders if anyone ever taught Kori this. The rest of me is sickened at how selfish I'm being.
It's not like this hasn't happened before, though, so maybe I should've been expecting it. In fact, this is the third year in a row that I've liked a guy who liked Kori, and two times out of three the guy in question asked her Homecoming. Freshman year, she'd had no idea that I liked Vic Stone, so I could easily forgive her (although it didn't make the slow dances any easier to watch. As a sophomore, Kori had already had a date, the repulsive Fang, so even when Gar Logan asked her she'd had to turn him down. She'd been obligated to. But this year…this year was different. This year she was well aware of how much I liked him and had a perfectly good reason to say no, but she didn't.
In a twisted way, I can actually understand why every guy I've ever liked in high school thus far has gone for Kori over me. I mean, she's smart. Not brilliant, but she works hard whereas I don't even attempt to "apply myself," for the most part, as most teachers put on my progress reports. Kori is also gorgeous. Like, fly-girl, Charlize-Theron-With-
Red-Hair beautiful, even though she can easily pull off the adorably cute an innocent look easily. This asset alone makes every guy around her dumber than he is organically, what with all his blood rushing south on a regular basis. Me? I'm on the plain side…compared to Kori, anyways. I won't go all pity-me or anything and say I'm ugly as sin because I can't stand people like that and I know I'm not hideous. I do possess several positive assets and an overall good set of genes, but despite that I'm really not much compared to my best friend.
And she's nice too. She's so incredibly freaking nice that if you say "Fuck you" to her, she'll just giggle a little and say "Right back at ya, love," completely unfazed. I would've given my tormenter the finger.
At the very least.
Seriously, unless you take pictures up her skirt (as Fang did a few weeks after Homecoming last year with his camera phone; I'm told the pictures didn't come out well at all), it's nearly impossible to get the girl angry, or even flustered. It's one of the reason's I'm friends with her, for God's sake. And as always, I'm the exact opposite of her: short tempered, hostile, cold, frigid bitch; you name it, I've probably been called it. And I'm the first to admit that I haven't received these names without reason. So if you were a guy and you had to choose between Kori and I, who would you go with?
Yeah, I'd pick Kori too. In a heartbeat. Maybe less than a heartbeat.
I can still picture the end of the dance so clearly in my mind that I feel like it just happened a few seconds ago. He's handing over his jacket to keep her warm, while I'm repositioning the black wrap sitting over the straps of my dress on my shivering shoulders. They're leaning in close to one another. Too close. His hand is on her lower back as he guides her to his car.
Chicks before dicks (literally) my ass.
Before she gets into the shiny black BMW to be whisked away to her house or, God forbid, his house (but she wouldn't do that…I don't think) she turns to look at me, smiling and waving so warmly that I find myself running to hug her goodbye. Her hair carries the slight scent of jasmine. For some reason, a part of me resents this. Despite this, the good friend in me battles down the childish jealousy, and I hug her like the end of the world is coming then break away and stride quickly over to my silver Honda parked in the next row of the school lot. And as I'm digging through my purse to find my keys, I can't help but wonder if Dick will kiss her at the end of the night.
For what it's worth, I didn't think "just friend" dates were supposed to kiss. I still don't. But maybe that's just me.
Can anyone tell that I have crappy associations with Homecoming?
Yay High School drama!
For the record, I do not hate Kori, nor do I think she would ever do anything to intentionally hurt Raven. I hate when people make SUPERBITCHRAVEN and SUPERBITCHSTARFIRE when it comes to the "fight over Robin," I suppose. I'm just trying to…vent what happened to me last…October. I love my friend whom this is based on (her being Kori, me being Raven), but I just needed to…get this on paper. It seemed fitting, and I like the way it came out. Hope you did too.