The Fortune of Mrs. Sakura
Chapter One: Miss Yukari's Hut of Fortune
A/N: There are so many weird Sakura pairings out there with fanbases, I wanted to try my hand at all of them. So, yes, this is a weird story, but it might have a tendency to get serious here and there. Just a warning.
EDIT: Please go to my profile for a complete list of pairings to be included in this story. Thank you!
"Ooh, look, girls! A fortune teller!" Ino exclaimed, grabbing Sakura's hand and pointing to a large, brightly-colored tent with the other. "Let's check it out!"
Tenten and Hinata looked over at each other and shrugged. "Yeah, sounds like fun," Tenten spoke for both of them, not that it mattered, because Ino was already halfway to the tent.
"Hello, and welcome to Miss Yukari's Hut of Fortune, what can we foresee for you today?" asked the attendant sitting on a cushion in the middle of the incense-and-tapestry-filled tent. She was wearing the Miss Yukari's Hut of Fortune uniform, a pink and maroon sari a la Miss Cleo, which looked ok with her long, light-brown hair, but clashed oddly with her glasses. In one hand she held a half-eaten snack cake.
"Well," Ino explained as Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata filed in behind her, "We're having sort of a girls' day out, and,"
"Say no more!" a teenage girl yelled merrily, bursting from behind one of the side curtains. "The Magical and Psychic Tomo-chan knows all! You all are having a Girls' Day Out, and you want your fortunes told! Right? Am I right?"
"Duh, baka, she just said that," the attendant muttered.
"Oh, hush, Yomi. All right, let's go! You!" the brunette ball of hyper pointed at Ino. "You look like you've got an interesting future! Fame, money, dead sexy men swarming around you-,"
"All right!" Ino punched the air. "Sounds like my kind of fortune telling! Let's go!"
Yomi rolled her eyes as Ino and Tomo disappeared behind a curtain. "Birds of a feather... Ok, who else wants a fortune?"
Someone tugged at Tenten's shirt. "'Ello, there. Wanna have your fortune told?" another teen asked her in a spacey voice with a thick accent. "I'm gettin' real good at dealing them parrot cards."
Yomi sighed. "Tarot cards, Osaka."
"Right. Like the bird."
Tenten laughed. "Sure. It's as good a waste of my money as any."
"Tha's the spirit," Osaka said as she led Tenten through Curtain Two.
Hinata stepped forward, pulling out a wallet with a cute little cat on the front. "I- I want my fortune told... how much?"
Yomi pointed to the rate sign as a tall, formidable girl with long, black hair stepped into view. She saw the wallet and blushed.
Yomi took Hinata's money and turned around. "Hey, Sakaki, you don't mind taking her, do you?"
Sakaki couldn't take her eyes off Hinata's kitten wallet. "No, I- I'd be glad to."
Sakura stared as Sakaki and Hinata left. How could such a scary looking girl be as shy as Hinata?
"All right, I guess that leaves you with Miss Yukari," Yomi said, pointing to the final curtain. "Lucky you."
The curtain led to a smaller tent cluttered with various occult knick-knacks. A woman older than the other fortunetellers, maybe in her twenties, with wavy brown hair, sat on one of the piles of books, reading a travel brochure.
Sakura cleared her throat and knelt on a cushion.
Miss Yukari looked up. "Oh, hey, a customer. Hello!"
"Hello. I'm here to—,"
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Yukari said, folding up her brochure and sitting down on the floor. "You want your fortune told. Love life, right? Of course. Nobody shells out ten bucks just to find out if they're going to make Chunin next year. All right, let's see your palm." Sakura held her hand out, and Yukari examined it for a moment, then released it. "Well, aren't you a lucky one, Miss Sakura."
"How did you know-?"
"I know all. It's my job. Anyway, looks like you're quite popular. You've got your pick of men, don't you?"
"I do? Really?" Sakura asked, her eyes lighting up. "Tell me about them. All the details."
"I can't... Palms only give very vague readings... Tell you what. I don't usually do this, but your palm's intrigued me, and, what the heck. I've got a little potion here," Yukari stood and began rummaging through the junk in the room. "It allows you to spend a day married to each of your little Romeos."
"Sweet," Sakura said. "How much?"
"Eh, I'll do it for free. Not much going on today... Here it is!" she held up a little baggy. "How about we visit... eh, a year into each marriage. Before the first illusions of romance and bliss have faded into dull, monotonous reality."
Sakura blinked, and Yukari flashed her a bright grin. "I mean, um, let's go!" And she dumped the contents of the bag (it looked to Sakura like glitter) over Sakura's head.
A/N: Azumanga Daioh Crossover, if you didn't know. Don't worry, this is the last mention of them (with the exception of Miss Yukari, a recurring character in this story. But don't worry, you don't need to know anything about her to follow it.)