Title: Sugar Means Sweet
Author: desolate butterfly
Genre: fluff? romance?
Pairing: Anko/Gai mostly, but also Anko/EVERY GUY AROUND and Anko/Gai/Kakashi
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: It's Anko's twenty-first birthday and she wants presents. Lots of presents.


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It was Anko's twenty-first birthday party and she planned to kiss every unmarried guy in the room at least once. It was the least they could have done, since most of the bastards hadn't brought her presents. Well…Gai had brought her a box of honey dumplings, but that didn't count.

He was always bringing her honey dumplings. Not that she was complaining or anything.

With her mouth sticky-sweet and empty of bean paste, Anko selected her targets: Genma first. Anko planned to corner him and demand her due, but it seemed he was all too willing to go along with the situation so she ended up being the one cornered instead. Anko decided that she really didn't mind. In her opinion, it was about time that Genma's oral fixation was put to good use.

Next was Iruka, who squirmed and protested and blushed deliciously. Anko laughed into his mouth when his hands fit nervously on her shoulders instead of on her waist like she had anticipated.

Hayate got a peck on the cheek when Uzuki was in the bathroom, powdering her nose. He scowled and coughed but didn't pull away. Ibiki was a tougher sell, but she managed to catch him with his mouth open to take a sip of sake and he didn't bite down on her tongue half as hard as she had expected him to.

"Ah Ibiki," Anko crooned as she stole the drink from his hand and downed it in one gulp, "you're getting soft in your old age."

"You're supposed to sip sake," the other man scolded. "And I'm only three years older than you."

"Don't worry. I'll still love you when you're pissing in a pan and moaning about your rheumatism, Gramps." Ibiki's empty sake cup was returned to his hand and he hefted it menacingly.

"I know sixty-four ways to make blood come out of your eyeballs," he said, flatly.

"Ooh hey, save the dirty talk for later," Anko teased, then scampered across the room to press a firm kiss to Aoba's lips. Two steps away, Raido watched and chuckled at his partner's flustered expression, until Anko latched a hand around his collar and pulled him in for the same treatment.

By the end of the night, Anko had pretty much accomplished her goal except for one ninja.

"And how is my youthful companion doing on this, the anniversary of her birth? Having fun?"

Make that two ninja. Anko turned to give Gai a small grin before her eyes were inevitably drawn down to the obscenely obvious bulge in his pants. She couldn't help it. If the man was going to walk around wearing tight spandex suits all the time, he might as well get used to people staring…down there.

Besides which, it was better than looking at his eyebrows. Way better. Oh so much better.

"Anko?" Gai's smile twitched into a look of concern and he waved a hand in front of her face. "Are you alright? Perhaps you've had a bit too much to drink. I saw you with Ibiki-san earlier. You know, you're supposed to sip sake—"

"I'm fine," she interrupted, swatting his hand away. "Kiss me."

"Uh…"

"Oh for fuck's sake." Anko rolled her eyes and grabbed the front of Gai's vest. Since pulling on him was kind of like trying to pull down a mountain, Anko climbed up instead, digging her fingers into his shoulders in what was probably a painful grip.

Gai didn't complain, though, which was partly due to the fact that Anko had her tongue in his mouth and it's pretty hard to object verbally when someone is trying to lick your back molars.

He did fit his hands supportively around her waist so she didn't have to strain so much to reach his mouth. She bit his lower lip viciously in return for that consideration.

"You taste too much like curried rice," Anko said when she finally pulled away, making a face. "I don't like it."

"I'm very sorry!"

"You should be." Another honey dumpling solved the problem of the too-hot spice on her tongue. Anko munched thoughtfully on the treat and spotted her last target loitering by the buffet. She grinned.

"Hey Gai…"

"Yes, dear Anko?"

"First, don't call me that unless you want all your sparkling teeth knocked out. Second, I need a favour."

"You need only to ask it!"

Five minutes later, Gai was holding a bewildered and annoyed Kakashi by the arms while Anko slid another dumpling past her lips. She swallowed the mouthful and then sauntered over to the pair.

"Hi Kakashi," she cooed, leaning forward. "Aren't you going to give the birthday girl a present?"

He eyed her warily.

"Most people ask for cake."

"Well that's not exactly what I want," Anko said, placing her hands carefully on Kakashi's chest. Carefully because he often kept pointy sharp objects in his pockets instead of in sensible holders strapped to his hips and thighs like normal people should.

"But what I want does involve sugar."

He tensed when she trailed her fingers across the bridge of his nose, where the stretchy fabric of his mask ended, but she only rolled her eyes and pushed him back against Gai's broad chest.

"Don't be such a prude Kakashi, everyone here knows what your face looks like, even if you're still keeping it covered in front of your bratty students for whatever reason," she said, tugging at the cloth. "Besides which, no one is going to see much when my lips are attached to your face anyway."

"You have a point there," was all Kakashi was able to get out before Anko swallowed his words with an enthusiastic swipe of her tongue.

And maybe a little biting. Okay, a lot of biting. Too much biting, because all of a sudden a suspicious white smoke filled the space where Kakashi's body had been and Anko pitched forward into Gai, bumping her chin painfully on his chest.

"O-ow..." Anko muttered, rubbing her sore chin. "Goddamn bunshin. I thought you said you'd hold him for me!"

Gai set her back on her feet with a sheepish smile. "Kakashi is indeed a wily opponent," he mused, then gave her a ridiculous thumbs-up. "Do not worry Anko, I promise I will catch Kakashi for you before this evening is through, or else I will do five-hundred laps around Konoha with a fishbowl on my head!"

"Oh never mind," Anko scowled, spotting what was probably the real Hatake Kakashi leaning against the far wall, nose in the latest volume of Icha Icha Paradise. "It's my birthday right?"

Her eyes flickered back to Gai, or rather, a certain spandex-covered part of Gai. She licked her lips.

"I think there's something we could be doing that would be a lot more fun."

"Oh? Like what?"

It took a bit longer to convince Gai that no, it wasn't rude to leave ones own birthday party early and yes, it really would be better to move somewhere more private unless they really wanted to traumatize Iruka a bit more, and no, they didn't need to bring the cake with them.

Although Anko did take along the dumplings.

Gai still tasted way too damn much like curried rice.

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fin.

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Commentary is appreciated.