Ninja Guide To Being A Pokemon Master

by read-n-review

Chapter One

Step One

Getting Your First Pokemon

Part One

"Having Hallucinations From Mushrooms Does Not Count As A Vision, Unless They Are Anatomically Correct" quote by Pokemon Prof.


a/n: HIYA! Well This is actually a fic with the Naruto characters in the world of Pokemon! Expect the unexpected and settle for less. Behold the musings of a Pokemon fanatic, because in this world, its read or die!!! DIE BECAUSE THE POKEMON SHALL REVOLT AND DESTROY US ALL! WHICH IS WHY THE NINJA HAVE STRICKEN BACK AND PUT THE POKEMON BACK IN THEIR PLACES! SO LOE AND BEHOLD! THE NINJA GUIDE TO BEING A POKEMON MASTER!! Oh and at the end we'll have a test! So make sure you're paying attention! Because in this fiction, I am the pokemon Professor! Mwahahahahahaha


It was dark...

Words appeared at the bottom...

What did they say?

"Welcome to the world of Pokemon. My name is read-n-review. People call me the Review Prof. but in this story, you can call me the Pokemon Prof. This world is inhabited by creatures that we call Pokemon. People and Pokemon live together by supporting each other. Some people play with Pokemon, some battle with them, and others go on evil crime sprees and rape and pillage small towns and villages. Which is why they set up special groups of ninja to protect their home lands from such evil doers. They are called Pokemon Trainers. Pokemon Trainers are ninja, trained young at the academy of their village, that set out on a quest to raise and train their own special team of Pokemon to then return home to their villages and protect them. Some stay loyal to their homes, and others leave in search of other things. On the journey there will be battles, contests, and Gyms. But we'll discuss this later.

We still don't know everything about Pokemon yet. There are still many mysteries to solve. That's why I study Pokemon every day. Now what did we say your name was?"

A large box filled with names appeared at the side of the screen. The words NEW NAME called out.

A new screen appeared...

And the name SAKURA was chosen.

"SAKURA, are you ready?

Your very own Pokemon story is about to unfold. You'll face fun times, and tough challenges. You'll face chances of rape and almost certain death, you'll be faced life or death situations and child molesters, but being a Pokemon Trainer you'll be forced to overcome these challenges and kick ass along side of your very own Pokemon. A world of dreams and adventures with Pokemon awaits! Let's go!

I'll be seeing you later!"

Sakura awoke with a start in her twin sized bed. Sweat beaded down her face and neck as her breathing came out in short pants.

"Oh shit! I gotta stop eating mushrooms before bed! Woah.." she said as she fell backwards with a thump to reclaim her sleep.


Now my friends and readers we meet are heroes on their journey to become all that they can be.

"Ninetails!! I choose you!!!"

A red and white ball was thrown out. Twirling, it landed and snapped open. A red light shot out and from it a 3 foot tall silver fox with nine tails appeared and roared it's named to the large arena filled with cheering fans.

The trainer and Pokemon stood waiting, eager for their most important rival to release their Pokemon as well. They heard him call,

"Go! Charizard!!" The voice called out. It was the voice of his ultimate rival, and his best friend.

That Pokemon too was released from its Pokeball and roared as flamed spewed from it's throat to dance and heat up the air.

He watched his rivals face from the light of the flames. His eyes were no longer that dark charcoal he had first seen from him; no, these eyes were red; red as blood. The eyes of an Uchiha.

He growled low in his throat as did his Ninetails. "Girrrr, Sasuke-teme! This is where I finally beat you! I'll finally prove that I'm just as good if not better than you!! Believe it!!"

"Hn. Dobe. You'll never beat me," his face grew stern. A passion flamed in the crimson orbs. "CHARIZARD USE FLAMETHROWER!!"

The orange dragon reared it's head, and summoned fire from the flame sacks in it's neck. It opened it's fang ridden jaws at the foe fire user and bellowed. The flames crossed the stadium quickly toward the Ninetails, the opposing trainer countered with ease,

"Ninetails! Jump into the flames and use Quick Attack!" The Ninetails did so quickly and used it's Flash Fire ability to raise it's own fire power by using the Charizard's flames. It moved through the Flame Thrower at an alarming rate, the fire gathering around it's body creating a Fast Flaming Furball of Fury, but even for the Ninetails, the heat from Charizard's flame was becoming a burden to it's flesh and was soon overcome with burn. The fox was at the Charizard in but seconds and was able to knock it back past it's trainer with it's Flaming Quick Attack. The Charizard was stunned for a moment before it flapped it's immense wings and flew high into the air to counter.

Set Division Scene One: ACTION!

The Charizard flew high, the trainer knew that his Ninetails' fire power wouldn't be a match for the Charizard's; even if it could go farther and longer it couldn't compete in strength. But he did have one strategy.. Sakura taught it to him, he would never forget it. First he would have to wait.

"Hn, so what are you just gonna stand there? What happened to all of your talk?" He was trying to goad him. He needed to stay calm for this to work. His opponent got agitated. "Fine! If you're gonna chicken out I'll finish this now!"

He turned his head towards his Charizard and shouted, "Charizard, use Fly!"

The blonde hero smirked. 'Fool.'

The Charizard came down fast aiming straight for the silver fox below. The fox stood unnerved, waiting for it's masters command to proceed. The Charizard was a few meters away now. Right above it. Almost hit,

"Ninetails! Double Team!!" In the blink of an eye Ninetails was gone and in it's place were 3 circles of Ninetails surrounding the Charizard. Each of them weaving in and out of each other. The Charizard circled in vain trying to catch which one was real. Sasuke glared at his rival, trying to figure out what he was doing. Blue orbs stared back, smirking in victorious glee. Sasuke knew he had lost. He was pissed.

"CHARIZARD USE OVERHEAT!!" The giant dragon stood still but a moment before flames formed around it and burst forth from it's body; racing across the stadium. It was Sasuke's second mistake. The flames caught onto the Ninetails and soon the racing foxes were nothing but flames; creating a ring of fire around the Pokemon. The flames grew higher and higher until there was a giant Fire Spin in the center of the stadium. The crowd was illuminated with light and stared in awe; awaiting the next move. They heard him call,

"FINISH HIM OFF WITH A HYPER BEAM!" And from within the fire was a flaming blast of light and heat. An explosion of mass proportion burst throughout the stadium causing all eyes to shut or squint from the intensity.

It was over...

The dust was clearing...

A man in official Pokemon League garb called out,

"CHARIZARD IS UNABLE TO BATTLE! VICTORY GOES TO UZUMAKI, NARUTO AND HIS NINETAILS!!" The crowd burst into deafening cheers and applause as his face appeared onto a giant screen with the word WINNER written underneath. His heart bursting with pride, he looked over to his fallen rival returning his Charizard into it's Pokeball. Sasuke looked up with a smile and said,

"You really are better Dobe." They crossed over to each other and shook hands firmly. This was everything he had ever wanted.. except..

"Naruto! Sasuke!" a feminine voice called out. He looked and saw pink hair running towards them. 'Sakura..'

And this would be the part where she would run over to Sasuke and make sure he was okay before coming over and scolding himself. He sweat dropped he could see it already. It was then he felt arms rap around his neck and a soft body pressing against him, squeezing him so tightly that he couldn't breathe. Not that that mattered any ways, he would have been too shocked to breathe in the first place! Sakura.. Haruno, Sakura was hugging him!! He heard her saying 'Naruto! I can't believe you did it!' This, this here was what he wanted. To be noticed, to be recognized by everyone as more than a screw up, or monster. To be recognized by his friends. They were all here, on the stadium floor. Clapping and cheering for him! Uzumaki, Naruto! Tears came to his eyes. He stared down and Sakura, "Sakura I couldn't have done it without you..."

"Of course you could have Naruto, you're the greatest! But don't forget, there's still your prize!" she said. Bright emerald eyes shinning up at HIM.

Suddenly a luminescent stage light appeared from the heavens ((exaggerated with sparkely sparkles)) and in that light was a ginormous trophy filled with-- was it really??? YES!! IT WAS!!! THE ENTIRE TROPHY WAS FILLED WITH RAMEN!!!11 GOD HE COULD LIVE THE REST OF HIS LIFE ON IT!!!1 THIS WAS THE HAPPIEST MOMENT OF HIS LIFE!!1 He looked down and Sakura was slowly closing the gap between them, her eyes half lidded. "Now for your REAL prize," she said. He closed his own eyes as he moved closer and --

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP" His eyes snapped open quickly. 'W-what the??'

"Sakura-chan are you okay??" He looked around the whole stadium, they all opened their mouths simultaneously,

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!111 NUUUUUUU!!! WHY KAMI WHY?? WHY AM I PUT THROUGH SO MUCH TORMENT??" he screamed from his floor as he tried to untangle himself from the fallen sheets. Finally pulling a head free he said to himself, "That's it, I'm gonna become the greatest Pokemon Master that ever lived! But first," his stomach growled noisily, throbbing with pain "I gotta eat some ramen!!"


Set Division Scene Two: ACTION!!

His Charizard flew high, he knew Naruto's Ninetails didn't have enough fire power to even come close to Charizard's. He also knew of Ninetails' Flashfire ability. His first move was a mistake; one he wouldn't be repeating again. But now, he could finish this quickly.

He lifted his head to the sky, and called out to Charizard,

"Charizard, use Earthquake!" Charizard understood perfectly. It wouldn't matter if Ninetails could dodge the direct hit, it would still be hit by the attack. Sasuke wanted him to destroy the entire battle field. Flying higher, Charizard was at the ceiling of the stadium. The crowd was hushed as they waited for the next move. No one could see Charizard, despite it's firey tail.

A roar of fierce magnitude was unleashed and echoed loudly throughout the stadium. A small Flame Thrower was unleashed from the ceiling, but somehow managed to still look exceedingly large. Charizard managed to use the fire and keep it around it's body, coming down in a nose dive; flames dancing around it. Ninetails could feel the heat coming closer and closer as the opponent Pokemon was falling at an alarming rate. Ninetails awaited its master's command, but Naruto seemed to be frozen! At the last moment Ninetails was able to dodge a critical hit, but as Charizard's feet slammed against the ground, it knew it had no chance.

The feet up heaved the Earth. Chunks of rock and dirt were sent flying into the air, crevices were made, and boulders created. Ninetails was knocked sailing, getting smacked and hit by rocks.

There was dust...

And as it cleared...

An official's voice was heard...

"NINETAILS IS UNABLE TO BATTLE! VICTORY GOES TO UCHIHA, SASUKE AND HIS CHARIZARD!!" The crowd burst into cheers! But the cheers soon died down, as a voice echoed throughout the stadium; drowning out all other noise as the lights went off completely. Sasuke's sharingan searching the darkness for the voice he hated most.

"So, now that you've won do you think you can beat me? Do you think now that you've beaten your best friend you can claim what is rightfully yours? Do you hate enough? Do you still cling to life so desperately Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke was shaking with rage. His fists clenched at his side. Charizard behind him, he could hear the growls reverberating from it's throat.

"DAMN YOU ITACHI!! WHY DID YOU KILL OUR FAMILY?? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE INUYASHA DVD COLLECTION???? YOU SICK BASTARD!!! WHERE IS IT???" His voice cracking with every breath, sobs racked his form, but he'd never let Itachi see his tears.

"So you do cling to life still... silly little Sasuke-kun... hate... despise... loathe me... And we shall meet again... and we SHALL reenact the Inuyasha series... so cling to life... you pathetic excuse for a hanyou.."

"I'M NOT A HANYOU YOU SICK-"

(Next 3 scenes have been censored by 4-kids TV because they were not appropriate for children under the age of 3)

Sasuke awoke that night just like every night and repeated his nightly prayer. "As I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should kill before I wake, I pray the Lord it's Itachi's I take. Amen."

'Haha... like that'll every happen...' (series of curses again horribly mutilated by 4-Kids TV) 'Screw it I'm going back to bed..'


Sigghhh, still not done yet...

A pink hair girl walked down a crowded sea of people. Everyone she passed had no face, no color, no nothing. How she knew they were even people was beyond me, but she walked through the crowds as the faceless people turned and whispered to each other as she walked by. Avoided eye contact. Mocked her. She heard them say, 'Forehead' and 'Pink' and 'Weird' she heard, 'Pathetic' and 'Not even a ninja'. Always the same; her dreams. Then everything turned dark, and as a spotlight followed her as she walked, she soon found everyone had disappeared. She stopped, and so did the spot light. Behind her she heard movement and turned to find Pokemon surrounding her.

'How did they get here??' She thought to herself as she turned in a circle trying with all her might to identify the strange creatures, but she couldn't recognize any of them. They were all shadowed or gray, they had no face. No definite form. She saw lights stick out from the humungous crowd of Pokemon. It was like all the 493 different types of Pokemon were all calling out to her. For her to pick. They wanted her. The lights, she saw them again. She tried to see what Pokemon the lights were, but the others were jealous and tried to swallow the lights in the masses of the crowd. She saw only hints of what they were; one shone like it was made of crystal, another had red scales and roared loudly before it was swallowed whole, one had a round head and was an aqua color, the next two were the same pokemon, one shone silver and the other was gold. 'These aren't normal Pokemon.. they stand out in the crowd no matter what.. I'll find them. I'll find these Pokemon! And they will. be. mine.' Just then a small Pokemon burst through the crowd and into her arms; she felt herself drift from the world of sleep, but before she left completely she saw two piercing red eyes looking up at her. Piercing red eyes of knowing..

Sakura awoke the second time that night. This time she was slightly less sweaty, but still figured she should take a shower.

"Yuck.." She thought about her dream. She knew now. She would collect those rare Pokemon who shone out in the crowd, just like she did. She would collect rare Pokemon. And she would make sure their light was never blocked out by a crowd again.

She would make sure of it.


Preview: The Next Episode: Getting Your First Pokemon: Part Two: "Getting Lost On The Road Of Life Is Not A Good Excuse Unless You've Lost Your Car"

On the next episode, are heroes await the arrival of Kakashi-sensei, their brand new troop leader. No they're not Scouts, but they're expected to be shone to the next town by their Leader! How are they supposed to do that if he isn't even here yet?? AND HE HAS THEIR BRAND NEW POKEMON!! OH NO! You'd better hurry up Kakashi, or you'll have to face the wrath of 3 16 year old kids and their teenage angst!

Until Next Time Kiddies, On The Ninja Guide To Being A Pokemon Master


We find our Pokemon Prof. sitting at her computer desk, suffering from gut pains and drowsiness. Pokemon information to her left, and empty popcans and ramen bowls to her right. Pocky and a Nintendo DS to her front and a Pokemon 2.B.A. MASTER cd in her computer. A white bath robe substitutes the usual Prof. apparel as she tries to make her statement. She's lazy, has little to no money, and is cheap. Did we mention lazy? We did but she felt it needed to be mentioned again.

"This, Sesshomaru, finds your story pointless."

". . . . ."

"Yeah, why was the Inuyasha TV series even mention in a PokemonNaruto crossover any ways??" asked Inuyasha.

". . . . . Well you see it's part of the plot? Yeah... it's part of the plot.. hehe."

"This, Sesshomaru does not believe you."

"Well you should because in this fic, the Pokemon Prof. RULE ALL!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Keh! Whatever wench. You could at least update this fic more often than your other ones for Kami's sake."

"Yes, you do seem to lack the necessary qualities that an authoress should have."

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS CAN STUFF IT!! I DON'T NEED TO TAKE THIS FROM YOU! I CAN TAKE THIS FROM REVIEWERS! Which reminds me! It's time for the quiz!

First we'll start out with:

WHO'S THAT POKEMON???

But! I'll describe the Pokemon that was in Sakura's dream, and in your reviews you tell me what you think the pokemon is! Alright here goes:

(All you die hard fans'll get this one right away) In Japan this Pokemon is known as フシギダネ or Fushigidane, which is a compound of不思議 (fushigi) literally translated to mean 'mystery' or 'mysterious' and 種 (tane) translated into 'seed'. Also, だ (da) is the plain form of です (desu) and ね (ne) is used to seek agreement from the listener, which makes "Fushigidane" literally mean "isn't it a mystery?"

Haha now for some biological information,

This Pokemon enjoys soaking up the rays of the sun, do to another life form on it's person from it's birth. It stores nutrients and energy in it, and can go for days without eating. It's small, the first of it's evolution and is slightly reptilian and is rare because it is not found in the wild. The Pokemon has weak Attack, but reasonably high Special Attack and Special Defense. This Pokemon usually has a relaxed attitude and does not normally let itself get provoked into battle.

I hope that's enough information to get it. I think it's not that hard, but I left out some of the easily identifiable attributes so that it would be more difficult.

And One More Question:

Which move was said in the story that neither Pokemon actually used in battle, but was due to a combination from both opposing Pokemon's moves?

E.C./Bonus: There are actually two moves in the story; one fictional and one real that both fire type Pokemon can be taught. What are they?


Well that's all for now kiddies! Expect to see me soon, because I expect this story to thrive in my imagination for a while!

Catch Ya'll On The Flip Side,

Yours Truly,

read-n-review v.

((it's what you do))

Well that's all for now kiddies! Expect to see me soon, because I expect this story to thrive in my imagination for a while!

P.S. remember to review with your answers!

Haha I just remembered to add this after my third edit, I do not own Pokemon, Naruto, Inuyasha, or 4-Kids TV! If I did I'd be one rich mofo. Man..