(Originally written for the Wednesday100 topic "Gen fic".)

The Talon's marquee read, "Cheer Up, Smallville! Turn You're Frown Upside Down!" As part of her campaign to brighten the town's mood, Lana was including Free Extra Sugar in all beverages. This was extremely popular with boys and girls ages 10-14, and, of course, Lana's appeal to skeezy old guys in raincoats and insane poets continued undimmed.

Unfortunately, her innovation also attracted Giant Green Glowing Ants.

By the time Sheriff Nancy finished hassling some nuns (Helping the Poor without a Permit), and got the S.W.A.M. Team (Special Weapons and Mutants) out there, it was too late for poor Lana.