l o v e l e t t e r s
by bulletproof (firstname.lastname@example.org)
characters owned by joss whedon.
"What the hell is this?"
Angelus looked up from his book at the approaching, irrate Slayer, not even bothering to ask how she had gotten past the many minions that had been milling outside his room.
"It's a love letter, Buffy, I thought that'd be obvious by now." Angelus replied nonchalantly, speaking of the faded yellow paper she held in her hands.
"A love letter?!" she replied hotly, "I'm sorry, but love letters aren't as crude, disgusting-"
"What?" Angelus interrupted indignantly, getting up to snatch the offending article from her, "Let me see that."
He perused it quickly, before handing it back to her with a shrug, "What's wrong with it?"
"What's wrong with it?! Conventionally, most letters start off with 'To', or 'Dear', even 'Dearest'. How does your's start? 'I want to fuck you'."
Buffy, enraged by his apathy, read on from the letter, "'I want to take you hard and fast in a crowded scene, perhaps the Bronze, shove you down onto that pool table, spread your long young legs around my hips and make you scream unwillingly as the patrons watch their heroinne be devoured by the dark forces she was sworn to fight."
Angelus had mouthed along to the last few phrases of the extract and nodded as she was done, "One of my finer works if I might say so myself."
Buffy fumed, "Finer works my ass! There is no way you are getting away with this, Angelus. For you to write something so perverted, so-"
Angelus sighed, "Listen, Buff, I thought we'd gone through this before. I leave you a note, you come by and get fucked. I really can't put it simpler than that."
Buffy shrugged, her anger quickly dissipating, "I know. I just didn't want to give in without a fight."
Angelus smirked, taking the letter out of her hands, allowing it to flutter to the floor as he entrapped her in his embrace, "Well don't you think that's enough fighting and not enough fucking?"
"Hell yeah," came Buffy's reply in a matching smirk as they devoured each other with their mouths.
"So," Buffy broke away, panting, "when do you think we can get to the Bronze?"
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