Well, here it is, the long-awaited Raven chapter. This chapter was the hardest for me to write because Raven is my favourite character, but she is a difficult one to write well. I hope that this lives up to any expectations you may have.
Teen Titans, as always, does not belong to me, but to DC Comics and Cartoon Network.
Ever since that one syllable had rolled from his tongue, she knew it had gone too far. Beast Boy...Gar was obviously starting to harbour some sort of crush on her, and it had to be stopped. It wasn't that she didn't like him, or didn't appreciate the attention. She did. But reciprocation could never be. No matter the stirring in her heart, feelings were not allowed. Trigon had seen to that. Raven knew full well that he was not gone completely, he could always return and his essence was still buried deep within her. It was too risky to attempt control of her emotions, just in order to drag someone into certain doom as her beloved.
At first, Raven had been flattered, and even fancied the thought of returning Beast Boy's...no Gar's feelings. She admitted that he was attractive in his own adorable way, and that he never gave up on trying to make her smile. Even if he wasn't funny, no matter what Happy said. He cared about her, and never stopped trying to win her heart. But she soon realized that this in itself presented a problem. She could not risk his life just to have his love. But he would never accept that her emotions were their only barrier toward romance.
So now, she had the most painful mission of her life before her; breaking his heart. Raven could not bear to win Gar's heart, only to have Trigon come back and rip them apart. For even of the Titans stood by her, her father would surely kill anyone she cared for with her whole heart, or use him or her as bait for her surrender as his minion. Knowing Trigon as she did, Raven knew that anyone she loved, romantically, would be killed as soon as she made the choice to embrace her demon half. That was just how demons worked, and her father was the worst of them all.
Having only ever been the one to have her heart broken, Raven had no idea how to go about hurting someone in such a way. Or if she could even succeed in this endeavour when it came to Gar...no, she needed to stop making this personal, to stop feeling this way about him! He was Beast Boy; small, idiotic, annoying Beast Boy. Her emotions rebelled at this, but they knew that it was to save his life, to keep him safe. Maybe one day, he would forgive her, and if her powers could ever be controlled...maybe he would consider giving her another chance.
Tears...damn her foolish heart for caring about him! Raven looked about her room, expecting her belongings to be incinerated or in some swirling vortex, but aside from her sheets being rumpled from sleep, her room was just as immaculate as it usually was. Why was it now that her powers decided to behave? Right when she was ready to hurt someone so badly because of them? Why did nothing ever work out the way they were supposed to?
"Why couldn't I just be normal?" she asked herself, wiping away the burning tears.
"Because you wouldn't be the Raven we know and love if you were?" replied a voice in her doorway.
She turned around quickly, as if to find out who would invade her sanctum, but she knew instantly that only one person would dare enter her room uninvited and unannounced. And it was the one person that she had not wanted to see, because it was the person whom she had to hurt.
"Beast Boy what have I told you about coming into my room?" she questioned.
"That I shouldn't do it without knocking first and being invited in?" he replied quite meekly, in hopes to remain in this dimension and in one piece.
"Exactly, which begs the question as to why I currently find you within my room." Raven replied, attempting to smother every command her erratic emotions were sending her concerning the green changeling. From Rage's suggestion to blasting him into the hall, to Affection's prodding to welcome him with a Starfire-worthy hug.
She could see the cogs of his mind turning, as he avoided her eyes and scuffed his foot at the doorstop. "Well I did knock, and when you didn't answer, I figured you weren't here, and was about to leave when I heard you talking to yourself. I figure I would make a slightly more interesting conversation partner. Plus, it's supper time." he replied, giving her that smile...that beautiful smile that just made her weak in the knees.
Raven looked at him, wondering just how she could break his heart. He was sweet and kind, and did not deserve any more pain then he had already been dealt. Which would be worse, attempting a relationship that would more than likely end badly, or hurting one of her closest friends and having to live with that pain for that rest of her life? And even if she did hurt him, send him away, what would stop him from coming to her rescue if Trigon did return? He never gave up on Terra, even after she betrayed the entire team, so what would stop him from keeping faith that she could care for him?
It was hopeless, she realized. Beast Boy would always help a friend in need, no matter what they had done to him in the past. It was just the kind of person he was, and nothing she could do would ever change that about him. He would fight all the harder against Trigon if she gave into him, and would claim he could take care of himself. That he would not abandon her in any time of need, he had said so much before, and would doubly vow so as her beau.
"Rae...are you still there? Can you hear me?" Beast Boy asked, waving his hand in front of her eyes, concern shining from his.
"Oh...I'm fine Beast Boy...just thinking." she replied.
Knowing it was pointless to ask her what about, he just replied "Gar...I told you, call me Gar. We're friends Raven, and really, it's a heck of a lot easier to say."
"My name is Rachel...Rachel Roth. Call me that from now on."
Well, that's it. The end of the fic. Thanks to everyone who left a review, who watched the story and just gave it a chance. I hope you all enjoyed.