The characters of this story do not belong to me. They'd be doing much naughtier things. I am only responsible for the stories. And even those are owned by the mind bunnies. Not my fault please don't shoot me.
Rated for language and innuendo. Not the correct age hit the little arrow to the left of your screen.
Characters may be slightly ooc.
One lazy afternoon Goku went missing.
At first no one noticed. But as it began to grow dark it became apparent that the boy was no where to be found.
Hakkai was the most worried. "I hope he's okay." He fidgeted with the tablecloth.
"He's fine." Said Sanzo.
"Yeah besides if anything tries to hurt him that stupid monkey will try to eat it." Gojyo added.
"That's not funny Gojyo."
Sanzo chuckled. "Yes it is."
As it grew later and later Gojyo began to worry also. "Maybe something did happen to the chimp."
"He's fine." Sanzo said once more.
"How can you be sure?" Hakkai asked.
"I just know."
By morning Hakkai was frantic. "We've got to go find him now." He glared at Sanzo.
"Ok, but I'm telling you he's fine."
After lots of cursing and high speed driving Goku was found at a bakery.
"See I told you he was fine."
Hakkai bounded out of the jeep. "Goku are you alright?"
Gojyo came up behind Hakkai and slapped Goku on the back of the head. "You idiot monkey you had us worried."
"Why? Sanzo knew where I was."
Sanzo had a smug look on his face. "Told you."
'"What the hell are you eating?" Gojyo made a grab for one.
"Nuh uh! It's mine."
"Greedy little monkey, you better share." Gojyo attempted another grab.
Hakkai had managed to get a hold of one and began to examine it.
"Hum sponge cake."
"Umm Hakkai." Gojyo tried to interrupt.
"Sweet creamy filling."
"Say Hakkai?" Gojyo was ignored again.
"Nice oblong shape that fits right in your hand."
"Hakkai look at it really hard."
Hakkai inspected the sweet treat in his hand. Then something connected.
"Oh my." He chuckled nervously. "It does look rather…..um…..erotic."
His hand tightened around the cake causing the filling to squish out.
Gojyo dropped to the ground laughing hysterically.
Even Sanzo turned a bit pink in the face. He cleared his throat. "You would think of something like that, cockroach."
Goku looked up at all of them with sponge cake and filling crumbling out of his mouth. "Wha's so f'nny?
"He's your pet, priest you tell him." Gojyo laughing fit renewed.
Sanzo looked down at Goku's smiling, innocent eyes and said. "Nothing monkey, never mind."
After several days of driving in the intensely hot desert Sanzo and company were ready to find some oasis from the burning sun.
"I think I'm seeing mirages again." Moaned Gojyo. "That looks like trees over there." He pointed off to the left.
"I see it too." Goku was panting heavily. "I sure hope it's real."
"Forget it, there is no way it's real besides we're behind schedule." Said Sanzo.
"We have a schedule?" Gojyo asked.
He ducked down anticipating a swat from the fan. It never came.
"Sanzo I think maybe this time it is really there." Hakkai had been edging his way slowly in the direction of the shimmering trees.
"Well since you've got us going in that general direction go ahead." Sanzo lowered his head. "Did you think I wouldn't notice the directional change?"
Hakkai smiled sheepishly. "Guess I got caught this time."
They nearly made it to the oasis when Hakuryu gave an exhausted chirp and popped into dragon form.
Gojyo and Goku wasted no time looking for water.
There was a triumphant yell. "Hey guys there's a big pond here," the sound of splashing water could be heard by Sanzo and Hakkai.
"Sounds like we're missing out on the fun." Said Hakkai as he sprinted off. "Are you coming Sanzo?"
Sanzo waved him on and lit a cigarette. "I'll be there soon."
When he got to the waters edge he settled under a tall palm resting in its shadow.
"Hey princess you afraid of getting wet?" Gojyo splashed water in the priest's direction.
"Come on Sanzo the water feels really good." Goku ducked under the waters surface.
"Maybe later it just feels good to be out of the sun."
The truth was he was unwilling to strip down to his underwear like the others had done.
Meanwhile Goku and Gojyo had found a strong vine to swing from.
They both made mini tidal waves from their explosive landings.
Sanzo realized that no one was there that would even care if he was seen in his boxers. He quickly stripped and stood at the waters edge. It was better then being naked.
Just as he was getting into the deeper water an odd sound came from above.
"Ah ah ah ah ah!" A long jungle cry sounded.
The yell had come from Hakkai and he was executing a beautiful swan dive into the rich blue water.
Sanzo, Gojyo and Goku all stopped what they were doing.
After Hakkai surfaced Sanzo twitched his eyebrow up a notch. "What the fuck was that Hakkai?"
"It just felt right to do."
Gojyo and Goku were snorting water. And Sanzo crossed his arms.
"Pretty undignified if you ask me."
Goku splashed him. "No one asked you." He turned to Hakkai. "That was awesome, can you do it again?"
"Sure no problem." There was a genuine smile on Hakkai's face.
"Come on blondie don't be such a stick in the mud." Gojyo also splashed water at the priest.
"That's it." Sanzo growled.
At first they all thought Sanzo was going to sit under the tree again.
When he returned carrying a large palm leaf they had doubts about his sanity.
"Maybe he's been in the sun too long." Mused Hakkai.
"Maybe he's finally flipped his wig." Muttered Gojyo.
"Maybe he's really mad at us." Whined Goku.
Sanzo strolled slowly into the water. When it was up to his waist he began to turn, holding the leaf out in front of him.
When he assumed he had the right speed, he filled the leaf with water and pushed it toward the other three.
They were nearly bowled over from the wave.
Sputtering water and curses they stalked Sanzo but he was back under the tree.
"You think you're so smart." Gojyo tried to sound threatening.
No one noticed Hakkai had slipped away.
Suddenly there was an ear piercing jungle yell and a huge splash that washed over the three on the ground.
Sanzo was angry now. He was drenched. And so were the rest of his clothes.
"Hey Hakkai how'd you make that huge splash?" Asked Goku wide eyed. "That was way too cool."
"Oh I just decided to give Hakuryu a nice bath." The small dragon trilled from his shoulder.
"That tiny thing couldn't make that big of a wave." Said Sanzo sourly.
"Well the jeep needed cleaning." He smiled sweetly and walked away.
Why won't you die?
It wasn't much of a bar, but it was the best they could do.
"I'm so thirsty I could drink a gallon of beer right now." Gojyo's tongue was nearly hanging out.
"I hope they have food." Goku looked around.
"And smokes." Grumbled Sanzo as he crumpled the pack in his hand. "Damn it all, I'm out."
With out even being asked Gojyo handed Sanzo of his.
"These suck, you know I don't like them." Sanzo took it any way.
"Hey man beggars can't be choosers." Gojyo flicked open his lighter.
Sanzo sighed and leaned forward to light the cigarette. "God how do you smoke these thing all the time?" He coughed.
"Hello?" Hakkai called out. "Is anyone here?"
"Yeah don't get 'ur panties in a twist." The owner was tall and had a sour look on his face. "Bar ain't open yet."
"Damn! Would you know somewhere we could get something to drink and eat?" Hakkai wrinkled his nose at the smells rolling off the man.
"Yeah, 'bout two blocks to the right. They got a place ya can stay too."
"Thank you very much." Hakkai made a polite bow.
"Hey com'on back t'night when things get rolling. The place gets real lively then."
"If we can."
They were only too happy to escape from the smelly man.
"Gheez if he smells like that I'm glad we didn't eat there." Goku looked a little green.
"Wow it's got to be bad if the monkey doesn't want to eat there." Gojyo was taking deep breathes trying to clear his lungs.
Sanzo dropped the cigarette butt and huffed. "I couldn't smell anything over the stench of that smoke."
"Hey take that back you prissy priest." Gojyo punched Sanzo's arm.
He was not able to dodge the fan in time and received several stinging smacks.
"Don't do that again." Sanzo growled.
Gojyo made an exaggerated bow. "Yes your holiness." And then began to run.
Sanzo ground his teeth in frustration. Why did he let Gojyo's words get under his skin so much of the time?
A light touch feathered his shoulder. "Come on Sanzo let's get to the inn so we can rest." Hakkai was always the quiet voice of reason. "You know that Gojyo love to tease you because he thinks it gets to you."
"Yeah! Well it does. And I know that he knows it. I just wish I understood why."
"I don't think the problem will be solved in the middle of the street."
"Ch! Maybe I'll get run over then I wouldn't have to put up with him or the stupid, greedy monkey."
Hakkai chuckled. "Personally I don't want to see you get run over Sanzo."
"Whatever." Sanzo crossed his arms and followed the green eyed demon.
The inn was naturally small, but made up for it by having only a very few bedrooms which made each one spacious and individual bathrooms for each room were a small luxury.
The unfortunate part was there were two bedrooms left.
"God damn it all, why does this keep happening?" Aggravation rippled in Sanzo's voice.
"Sanzo do you mind sharing with Gojyo tonight, the smoke has given me a headache." Hakkai rubbed his head.
"Whatever." Sanzo was feeling a bit weird about the arrangement. He knew Gojyo would provoke him to the point of violence.
"Well looks like it's just you and me tonight blondie." The red head wrapped his arm around Sanzo's shoulder. "Want to have some fun?"
"Sure I can watch you die a slow agonizing death."
"Boy you sure know how to kill a good mood."
They stalked off in different directions.
Later they all decided that in spite of the conditions they would go back to the bar.
A sign outside stated that it was open mike night, and everyone was encouraged to pick a song off the karaoke list.
Sanzo began to back away. "Not a chance."
"Ah! Come on don't be a complete spoilsport." Goku pulled at his sleeve and Gojyo joined in by pushing Sanzo from behind.
"You two are so gonna die."
"Blah, blah, blah like we haven't heard that a million times." Gojyo pushed harder.
Hakkai hid a snicker behind his hands.
"You too, you jerk." Sanzo's eyes were flashing with anger.
They were able to find a decent table. One that was thankfully not very close to the stage.
"Gaahh! It still stinks in here." Goku's nose twitched. "Good thing we didn't eat here."
Gojyo was one of the first to check out the list of songs. He must have found one to his likening for he crowed with delight.
Sanzo eyed him suspiciously. He must have found something dirty to sing to the girls. A big grin was plastered on his face.
Several horrendous singers and lots of beer later it was Gojyo's turn.
He jumped up on the stage. Microphone grasped firmly in his hand, Gojyo started.
"This is for the pretty blonde in the corner." Everyone glanced in their direction.
Sanzo was fuming and made a gun with his hand and pointed it at Gojyo.
"Isn't he cute when he's mad?"
The first few notes and Sanzo was twitching.
"I love you."
BANG. "SHUT UP"
"You love me."
BANG, BANG. "YOU ARE SO GOING TO DIE IF YOU FINISH THAT SONG."
The bar patrons joined in.
"We're a happy family."
Sanzo went ballistic. The rafters shook with the echoes of gunfire and yelling.
Gojyo wisely ran out the back door and did not return for a few days hoping Sanzo had cooled down.
He snuck up the stairs and opened the bedroom door.
"Eh! Sanzo?" Hearing no reply he entered only to find himself staring at the barrel of a shiny gun.
"Welcome back." Sanzo was smiling.
"Hee hee! Hi Sanzo."
if i have the lyrics to that annoying song wrong, forgive me i turn it off faster then one of sanzo's bullets.