"Fucking thing…HOW DO I USE THIS?" Johnny slapped the computer in frustration.

"Calm DOWN hun, be nice to it!" Dimitry walked up behind his lover, wrapping his arms around Johnny's shoulders and resting his chin on Johnny's head.

"I hate computers."

"Seems more like they hate YOU." Dimitry smiled to himself, kissing Johnny on the top of his head. "Just be patient with it."

"You be patient." Johnny mumbled quietly under his breath.

"That didn't even make SENSE!"

"Fix this fucking thing before I kick it out the window." Knoxville crossed his arms and glared at the blue screen that was informing him of an error he had created.

Dimitry hit a few buttons and the error message disappeared, only to be replaced by a picture of a twenty-something guy, wearing only a bandana, in a VERY inquisitive position.

"How did he manage THAT?" Dimitry asked, cocking his head to the side.

"A lot of perseverance and I don't think he has a spine."

"Or morals. What if his MOTHER saw this?"

"Sweetie, I doubt his mother looks up gay porn on the Internet."

"Too bad I can't say the same for you, huh?" Johnny slapped Dimitry playfully.

Dimitry sat in a chair beside Johnny and they casually browsed through a few more pictures, laughing at most of them.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Click back for a minute!" Dimitry shouted, pointing at the screen.

Johnny clicked the 'back' button and closing a pop-up ad for a new hair dye product.

"Does that say…?"

"Bam Margera? And Ryan Dunn? What the hell?!" Johnny's eyes were wide open as he clicked on the link.

The men quickly read the words on the screen.

"What the hell is slash?" Dimitry inquired.

"I've heard about it before." Johnny said, knowingly. "Apparently, these fan girls, write these fictional stories about celebrities and post them online for other horny little shits to read."

"Fuck…Bam would FLIP if he ever saw this sh- WOW."


"Read this line." Dimitry pointed to a section of the screen and Johnny's eyes skimmed it over.

"HOLY SHIT! I would PAY to see Bam take-"

"Dude, I am SO tempted to call him and tell him about this!"

"Lets see what else they have on here."

The guys explored the website slowly, reading every word that they could set their eyes upon, each of them trying to hide their 'amusement' for the stories.

"Slashass. Click on that one." Dimitry snuck up closer to Johnny, trying to get a better angle to read the screen.

"WHAT?!" Johnny rapidly clicked on a link.

"HOLY SHIT!" Dimitry's face lit up, reading the words 'Pairing: Johnny Knoxville/Ehren McGhehey'.

"I will kill this bitch if I ever find her." Knoxville's face grew red and he slumped his shoulder's a bit.

"To hell you will! I think we should take her out to dinner or something!"

"What is wrong with you? She's writing about me, your fucking lover, and a little goodie-two-shoes kid!"

"A goodie-two-shoes kid with a cute little ass, if I do say so myself!"

Johnny shifted his glare from the computer screen to Dimitry's smiling face.


"And what, you're going to make me?"

As if a light bulb turned on above his head, Johnny grabbed Dimitry by the jaw and kissed him roughly, stood up, and pulled the man to his feet. They pressed their heated bodies together, erections rubbing against each other, shirts being pulled off simultaneously. Dimitry couldn't help but grin as Johnny whimpered a little. They hurriedly made their way into the bedroom, kicking off their remaining clothing as they went. They collapsed in a heap onto the bed, Dimitry on top, pinning Johnny down and planting lust-filled kissed on his collarbone. Johnny was begging Dimitry to enter him, thrusting his hips.

Dimitry moved swiftly to the nightstand, grabbing a bottle of lube and slathered it over his erection and tossed the bottle aside. He swiftly inserted two fingers into Johnny, stretching him out slightly. With Johnny moaning the entire time, Dimitry firmly forced himself into Johnny, a low growl emitting from his throat. The men gradually molded themselves into one being, their motions sinuous and precise. The headboard hit the wall with every movement. They were both thankful to be inside their home and not in a hotel room. Dimitry's pace accelerated, his moans were now incoherent mumblings as he slammed himself harder into his lover.

"God damnit…Dimitry…fuck…" Johnny's eyes were locked onto Dimitry's body.

"Fuck…fuck…" Dimitry's body started to shudder as he reached climax, plunging himself as deep as he could go into Johnny.

Knoxville's body stiffened as he came, screaming Dimitry's name repeatedly before their tongues intertwined, pulling their mouths together. Dimitry rolled over beside Johnny, whimpering slightly. It was Johnny who first broke their kiss, staring softly into Dimitry's eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Knoxie." Dimitry gave him a quick kiss on the nose.