I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

Raab's razor blade glided slickly through his flesh. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the bathroom sink, watching his crimson blood drip onto the counter. He looked over to see it pouring out of his wrist as he started to cry. Raab had never been one to cry unless it was extremely necessary, but this time he felt it was.

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end

Raab knew that his feelings weren't just some fucked up 'phase'. DiCo had always held a special place in his heart and he would, forever, remain there. Raab never knew how to deal with his feelings in an appropriate manner, but he had been cutting since he was a kid. That he could deal with. Physical pain was one thing, emotional, well that was fucking impossible.

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

Raab was mad at himself now. He usually was after he sliced his wrists. He knew there were other ways to deal with it, but this one was familiar and less painful.

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

"Raab? You in there?" DiCo's voice rang out, along with a pounding on the door.

"Yup, be out in a bit." Raab's face burned with guilt. He had started wiping the blood off of the countertop and his arm when the door swung open. He looked up to see DiCo, staring at the swirls of blood in the sink.

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end

"Raabie? What the fuck are you doing?" Brandon's voice was hushed. Raab couldn't move. He had been caught for the first time. He had no idea what to do.

"I…I…slipped. I slipped, that's all." Raab's face grew a deeper crimson.

"Bullshit." Bran choked out. He reached behind him and shut the door. "What the hell's going on, Raab?"

"N-Nothing!" Raab's voice shook. Brandon sat him down on the closed toilet lid and looked into his friends' damp eyes.

"You can tell me Raab, you can always tell me anything, you know that." Brandon felt his own eyes well up with tears as he looked at Chris' bleeding arm.

"It's fine, honest."

"Rabbie, it's not fine! You just fucking cut your wrist all to shit, now tell me, what's wrong?" Brandon's voice started shaking. He had always cared so much about Raab.

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

"I'm fine Brandon, really, I'm fine. Just stressed out, that's all." Raab's tears spilt over. Bran reached up and wiped them off.

"Raabie…please." Brandon pleadedwith his friend. Raab's tears poured out faster now. He could no longer look into Brandon's eyes, it hurt too much.

"I CAN'T!" Raab wailed, burying his face in his hands and sobbing. Brandon started crying along with him as he wrapped his arms around Raab.

"Shhhhhh. It's ok Raabie, you don't have to." Bran whispered into Raab's ear.

"Tha-Thank you." Raab managed to choke out.

"Is it something I can help with, though?"

"Just…just don't let go…please." Raab whimpered.

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way.