My first attempt a "Young Ones" ficlet. Told you I suck at these kinda things, but ah well. Reviews make Vyvyan and his hamster very happy.
Two weeks previously….
Vyvyan sat on the bathroom floor, picking up the hamster from the back of the toilet. After unsticking it from the floor boards, he dropped it into the pre-prepared shoe box and nailed on the cardboard lid, then nailing a note to the top of it. It wasn't anybody's idea to get Vyvyan a nail gun but his own, and he'd seen his opportunity to get one when Neil went to the D.I.Y shop to get some paint charts, and beaten him into purchasing one with a piece of laminate flooring. Anyway. The note was quite heartfelt in amongst the mockery of a grave. Sort of.
I know I was a bit of a bastard drop kicking you and stuff, but you're dead now so I'll
just go and get another one cos you aren't my hamster any more cos I accidentally shut
you in the toilet.
With that, Vyvyan (feeling quite pleased with his handiwork) opened the window, saluted it, the drop kicked the box through it, dusting of his hands and casually destroying the door as he walked out to go and eat something.
Two weeks later
With Mike and Rick at work, only Neil was in, trying to make something from a pound of organic green beans, when Vyvyan booted opened the door to reveal a orange and black hamster cage (with hamster) also being kicked along the ground. Vyvyan was sucking his bleeding finger, muttering "Fucking hamster!" under his breath. Neil shuffled a bit.
"What's up Vyv?" He asked, blinking. "You were saying 'Fucking hamster.'?"
"Nowt." He kicked a chair into the wall. "That's its name. Fucking hamster." Before giving the cage a final assault and switching the T/V on.