Orochimaru's REAL Plan

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Laughs: I love making fun of Oro-chan. It's just too funny. I got this idea from Hiki-chan. READ HER STORIES NOOBS. SHE IS THE BOOOOOMMMB.


Why, hello everyone. My name is Overlord Orochimaru. In other words, O.O. Look, a surprised face: O.O. Anyway, I have just seen one of the most…

Cute: Yes

Dumb: Yes

Huggish: Yes

Blonde: Yes

Moment in my entire life of goggling. You see Sasuke-kun? I told you he'd gush that mushy line out. I mimicked," I'll go to the ends of the earth and the bottom of the sea to get Sasuke back! Kawaii ne, Sasuke-kun?" I see him stare hungrily at the orb and I chuckle behind my hand. YES BEHIND MY HAND ALRIGHT?! GOT A PROBLEM WITH SOMEONE WHO LAUGHS BEHIND THEIR HAND?!

Anyway, I lost my cool there, so anyway, I watch Sasuke watch that Ino character glomp the little blonde boy. Goddammit, I wanna glomp him tooo! Ehem, now I see that pink haired girl clasping onto Naruto-kun's hand.

"Ne, Naruto! Once you get Sasuke-kun back, we can expect a lot of actions, yes?" The boy paused, and Kabuto gasped a bit. Sasuke, was still staring at the orb in lust. Tut tut Sasuke-kun! Lust is a sin. And a character from FMA but let's not get into that now. Oh my! "Yeah!" Naruto-kun said yes!

There's gonna be sex tonight, there's gonna be sex tonight!

I turn to Sasuke and ask," Don't you think you should be heading back to your kitsune? I can hear you at night, you know." Ooh! Point for Oro-chan! Mwah! Sasuke-kun smirked and waved it off.

Dammit. There's not gonna be sex tonight. Oh! What's that small smile there for Sasuke-kun!? I grin.

Okay, real reason why I wanted to capture Naruto-kun's beloved bastard, was because… because…

I'm a closet yaoi pervert.

You can't blame me! I just wanted that single favorite line of love of mine to be expressed to me for Sasuke by Naruto-kun! And hell did he provide the purpose! My yaoi fetishes are almost done!

Now, all I have to do is get Itachi (My partner in Yaoi crime) to capture Naruto-kun, force Kyuubi to come out half-way, making Naruto have ears and maybe a couple of tails and let Sasuke go hunting!!!


Another of my fantasies are as follows: After school tutoring, with Sasuke as seme of course, ninja bondage, Itachi and I love it, a bit of whipping to the ass, whip cream, oh! A MAID'S UNIFORM!! Oh! And that after-school tutoring? Make Sasuke the teacher… Nah, let's make Naruto-kun the teacher. Oh, and then there's the one with all these little toys and…

"Orochimaru-sama? Do you need a tissue?" "Of course not Kabuto. I am perfectly fine," I reply, crossing my arms together and smirking sadistically, blood pouring out of both nostrils.

Sasuke, I think it's time you really visit Naruto-kun now. I'll go visit Itachi and ask him why the hell Naruto-kun doesn't have fox ears and tails.

A/N: Oro-chan's fun to make fun of. ("AH! I KNEW IT!!") He's such an easy target. Oh, and read Hiki-chan's stories, you punk. XD