I Have a Large, Thick Sausage
Opening Note: First off, let me apologize for the title. Not the title itself, actually. I think it's amusing. But I apologize for anyone who is like me and feels somewhat chagrined at the thought of being caught reading a story with such a title. But the title is for my coworker, who once announced that his favorite part of the day was when someone ordered a large sausage pizza on thick crust so that he could call out, "I have a large, thick sausage". Yes, it's a little immature. But think of it as someone trying to bring something imaginative to their otherwise monotonous workday.
Disclaimer: I claim no legal rights to these characters. I do not even want to own legal rights to them. They give me enough trouble already.
Dedication: To the writers on FFnet who are, in my humble opinion, the best. There are very few. I can count them on one hand.
I also dedicate this to my two best friends in the world. My two little sisters who laughed their cute heads off when I read them this first chapter.
Chapter One: Long Lost
I hate SpongeBob Squarepants. I often wonder how desperate for new ideas Nickelodeon was when they had to pitch a cartoon idea featuring a yellow sponge who flips burgers for a living. But as much as I hated that overly cheerful character, my life was like his. I had a simple fast food job – though making gourmet style pizzas is a lot better than flipping burgers – a nice little yellow house – though it was more of a golden yellow than a pineapple yellow – and a rather grumpy neighbor named Cid. I also had a pet dog named Pluto – not a sea snail – and a best friend named Hayner – not a dumpy idiot.
So my life was like that cartoon in one way or another. I'd wake up, play with Pluto and then go hang out with Hayner, Pence and Olette, and then get to work for the rest of the day.
I worked at Sunset Plaza Pizzeria, a small high quality pizza place. Business wasn't exactly booming, and Cid often reminisced about long weekends when the place got "slammed". We made enough to get by, and as a result, we couldn't have more than three employees working at a time. Usually it was me making the pizza, Cid taking calls and Pence making deliveries. Sometimes I helped deliver if it got that busy, and Hayner got the opportunity to make a few extra munny making pizza. Hayner worked odd jobs mostly, and Olette did pretty well working at the tailor's shop. Every month if we could we'd scrape together some munny and try to go to the beach. It only happened once, and we got there too late because the train fare was cheaper after 3 pm.
I was happy with my life.
And then Sora came.
It was the day before my 19th Birthday, and I was going to spend it in on the couch playing Keyblade Hero II. No interruptions. I'd even got the day off from work, a rare privilege. The doorbell rang sometime after noon, and I pulled Pluto away from the door by the collar. He was a loveable, dopey animal and got excited when he knew there was company. I was trying really hard not to blow up at him, though. Or whoever had the gall to disrupt my day off.
The guy standing there was about an inch shorter than me with wild chocolate hair that stuck up every which way – geysers and waterfalls – with a feral grin to match that looked a pain to keep up for longer than five seconds. He wore a white T-shirt and a loose black hoodie vest over it, faded red cargo shorts hanging down to his knees and a pair of beat up, pineapple yellow sandals. Around his neck was a heavy silver chain with a crown charm.
"Roxas!" he said, voice full of fondness and delight like it should be when greeting a close friend.
But I didn't know this guy. For his clothes I figured that he was from the islands, but that was pretty much it. That and his favorite cartoon was probably Spongebob Squarepants.
He smiled again and trained his eyes on me, eyes that were an eerie mirror image of mine.
'You're probably going to think this is really weird," he began, and I quirked an eyebrow, resisting the urge to tell him that he was the weirdest thing that had ever showed up on my doorstep apart from that thing my mom mailed me last Christmas.
"But…" he paused, trying to figure out the best way to announce whatever it was he'd come all this way to tell me.
"I'm your long lost twin brother."
I slammed the door in his face, vowing that if this was some sort of prank from Hayner, I was going to scrawl "Hayner's D CK" on his struggle bat with a pink Sharpie.
The doorbell rang again, and I sighed.
"Look, I'm not in the mood for practical jokes right now. I'm trying to enjoy my day off."
"But Roxas!" he protested, rummaging frantically though his backpack. "I have proof!"
He pulled out a document sealed in a clear folder. A birth certificate.
"See?" He held it out to me, pointing. "I was born one minute and twenty seven seconds before you. Our mom is Setsuna Iriyama and our dad is Koji Iriyama. We were born on June 27th at Sunset Place Hospital."
I took the cirtifacte from him and looked it over for a few minutes, coming to the conclusion that it was either legit or a very good knock off.
"I think we'd better call mom, little bro," Sora said, reaching down to scratch behind Pluto's ear.
- The Writer