Empty...Amanda felt empty. She sat on her and Kyle's bed, with her hand resting on her flat stomach. Most of her life she loved being thin, she thrived on how it was an essential part of her beauty. Now, now she ached to have her stomach swell with the life she and Kyle had created. The worst part of it all was that she couldn't tell him how she was feeling. Kyle was so into blaming himself that he was robbing her of that right. If he had truly trusted in her, in them then she would still be pregnant.
"You okay Babe?" Kyle asked as he stepped out of the bathroom dressed only in a towel. He felt stupid for asking that question, she hadn't been okay since she lost the baby two weeks ago.
She offered him a smiled that lacked its usual brilliance. "I'm good. I was just waiting for you so I could say bye before I head into work. I have no idea what shape the office is going to be in"
Kyle rested his hands on the sides of her hips and pulled her close so that their chests were barely touching. He leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. "I'm sure Ryan and Jane are keeping things running smoothly."
"Ryan I trust, but Jane... Well let's just say she stood at the back of the line the day God was handing out business sense." Amanda snarked. Truth was, Jane was an amazing artist but that was where her talented began and ended.
"I'm she's done a good job. Besides Ryan is there to help."
"Okay, I need to go. I'll see you at the club tonight." Amanda gave him a quick peck and started to walk out the door.
Before she could leave Kyle caught her hand. "Promise me you will take it somewhat easy today. I still don't like the idea of you going back to work so soon. You still need to be resting.
Amanda showed restraint by not snapping at him that she would not have been so weak if he had only trusted her. So, instead she took a calming breath before replying. "I need to go back; I can't keep sitting around here all day. Plus both Dr. Wagner AND Dr. Visconti cleared me to go back to work. Even Peter thinks it will be good for me to get out of the house."
"I know," Kyle admitted, feeling defeated. Rather than let go of her hand, he stared into her eyes. "I love you Amanda. I'm sure Ryan did a decent job while you were out."
She gave him a smile and replied hesitantly, "I love you too."
As he heard the front door close, Kyle felt as though she was walking out of his life. He could feel the rift growing between them and he did not know how to fix it. They had overcome so many obstacles in their relationship to have it all fall apart now.
Amanda could feel the rift as well, but unlike Kyle, she felt as though she had no strength left to fight for a marriage that had been doomed from the start. Maybe it would be best for them to count their losses and move on with their separate lives. No, because part of her still loved Kyle.
"Amanda!" a shout came from across the courtyard.
She looked up to see Eve standing in front of her and Peter's apartment door, waving. Amanda did not reply, but turned and walked out of the courtyard. Eve just stood there sadly and watched her oldest friend walk away.