Title: Not Another Romance Fic
Author: My Sadistic Fairytale
Summary: The Yu-Gi-Oh gang is sick of being in romance fics so they enlist the help of a fanfic writer to help them stop the romance fics. The trouble is that the writer might not be willing to help.
A/N: This story might hurt some author's feelings but keep one thing in mind. This is just an idea I had in mind and it's just a story. I really don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.
"Kay-Kay, come outside with Anna and me," my little sister said, twirling two strands of my hair around. She treated my hair as her plaything. I was busy typing something of importance. Knowing her, she was probably pouting behind my chair.
"You're typing another fanfic, aren't you?" Sara said questionably. I didn't have to answer her. She already knew my response. I took a sip from my coffee mug without looking at it. It tasted stale. She made an 'ugh' sound. "Kay-Kay, that coffee's from last weekend!"
"Oh," I said before it registered. I rushed to the bathroom and brushed my tongue and gurgled ten times. Sara giggled. She knew how much I hated germs. Chances are, that coffee was full of dust and dust meant...She was sitting on the edge of my bed when I came back. She had a smile plastered on her face. "Kay-Kay, let's go to the movies today. I wanna go see that new movie, you know, the one with the dragon. You like fantasy, right?" She asked. I shook my head. Her smile dropped.
"No thanks. I don't want to," I said, settling behind the desk once more. I typed away without having to look once at the keyboard. My fingers automatically knew where every letter was.
She let out a sigh of exasperation. "Sis, do you realize it's been an entire month since we've hung out together? I miss spending time with you," she said sadly. I didn't look at her. I was no good at these kinds of situations. "Why are you wasting your life writing stupid fanfics? You don't benefit from them."
"I'm not writing a fanfiction," I said simply. "I'm just simply writing a story, an original story. A story that I can hopefully publish one day." The clacking of the keyboard filled the room.
"I know you want to be an published author but-" She began but she stopped. This was a sensitive subject with me. There were plenty of writers who were published when they were only thirteen or sixteen. Me? I was almost eighteen and none of my stories have been published in at least in a local magazine. I pushed my glasses against my nose which was a habit of mine.
"Sara," I said, closing my eyes. I felt a headache coming on. It's been like this lately with me. Having headaches and pulling all-nighters when inspiration hits me in the wrong time. Or just pulling all-nighters and forcing myself to come up with plots; plots that would catch a reader's attention. "You know how important it is for me. I don't want to wait until I enter college to be an official author. You probably don't understand since you don't like reading anyway."
"But nowadays you're always writing fanfiction instead." She argued.
"Writing fanfiction calms me down, okay!" I fired back. "Do you have any idea how hard for me? So many people with cliched plots are always being published and me? I try to be original and it backfires in my face. At least with fanfiction I just write some romance and I'll get some praise. With fanfiction, I don't have to be disappointed if it fails. I wouldn't be disappointed if people don't buy it..." I muttered the last part.
She finally left without a word. I didn't bother to look. I was concentrating on my latest story; a story I'd doubt anyone besides my friends would praise. Maybe if I wrote a story that somebody else already did and changed the names and circumstances...Maybe I would be published then. I often thought about that. I wouldn't feel right though. I'd feel like I was copying someone else's work. One thing I was not is a plagiarizer. Looking back at the screen, I read the last sentence I just typed. Then I banged my fist on the keyboard in frustration. Damn it! I have writer's block! "Shimata." I cursed, getting up from the chair.
First, I'll get myself a snack then I'll get back to work. I slapped my head when I remembered that I had an essay to write. I pouted while looking at the computer screen. If there's one thing I do hate is writing an essay. They're soooo boring. "Just get it over with, Kay. If you don't, then you won't graduate high school." I said to myself.
"Damn it! I'm so sick of these...these...fanfic authors! Romance, romance, romance, that's all they write nowadays!"
"Sometimes they write me as a rapist! I might be a knife-wielding, thing-licking and psychotic person who grew out of someone's hatred. BUT I am NOT a pervert!"
"You think that's bad? You can't believe some of the people I'm paired up with; the dog, my number one rival, Shizuka and she only talked to me one time! How do you fall in love with a person with one conversation!"
"How many times am I going to be raped in a story? Have they ever heard of the word 'originality'?"
"Oh, how about the classic 'new girl original character' that goes to our school and all the guys fall in love with her. She's supposed to be so beautiful."
"I'm hungry." Everybody sweatdropped and looked at the certain blonde. "Jounouchi!" The Yu-Gi-Oh cast said simultaneously.
Back to reality, I slammed my door closed, carefully carrying a mug of coffee and a bag of chips. I was livid. "HOW DARE SHE!" If there was another thing I hated was when someone gave me a ridiculous suggestion for a story. That was exactly what Anna, Sara's dimwitted friend did when I was in the kitchen. She had the nerve to suggest I do a romantic comedy type story. The type that everybody loves with the stoic rich guy who makes a deal with a poor girl. They had to pretend to love each other and actually falls in love in the end. It was all I could restrain myself from jumping on that stupid..."ARRGH!" Evidently, all those diet pills she took was making her body thinner and her brain smaller. I seated myself on the chair again, opening a bag of chips and ate one. When I looked at the computer, I uttered a gasp, dropping the bag. Oh, great. I was going to have to clean that up.
"What the?" The whole screen was blank! "My story! My latest story! I just...I-I" Then the thought occurred to me. Of course, I probably saved it and exited from it. I went to my documents folder and wondered 'what was the title again?' I looked through each document name. "It's gone!" All eighteen pages down the drain! I groaned, attacking my computer. "How could you do this! I am your owner! How could you!"
"Um...Sis?" I looked at the doorway where Sara and Anna was staring at me with curiousity. "What are you yelling about? We could hear you all the way from downstairs, you know."
"This dumb dumb computer erased my file!" I said while throttling it. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Sara came running in and separated myself from the probably thankful computer.
"It's okay, sis. Just type it again," she coaxed. Then I unleashed my hell upon her. She didn't deserve it, I know. I was just so frustrated. I was supposed to have been published before I turned eighteen. That was my goal. So many authors were getting younger and younger. I thought I would be ranked amongst the great published writers by now. My grades were slipping because I wasn't focused on my senior year. The only thing that didn't push me over was that I could still write. As long as I could write and tell my stories, I would be patient for the day when I become famous.
I noticed now that Anna was standing outside the door with a scared expression. We never did like each other but we tolerated each other. I held my tongue when we hung out together with my little sis. She was Sara's bestfriend, after all. She would direct a nasty word towards me and I would do the same to her. It was pretty much routine. Sara was used to it by now. I never thought she would be afraid of me. Finally, I stopped my ongoing slander. I just made my little sis cry. I insulted her using her own secrets. That was low of me. Anna ran after Sara to calm her down, leaving me all alone. I slumped down on my chair. "I am such a bitch." Everybody else's opinion of me was accurate. I took off my glasses. My headache intensified. I replaced it on my nose and raised my head.
"Help me?" I repeated the message on the screen. "Did Sara type that while I was yelling at her?" I peered closely to the screen. Then another message appeared as if out of nowhere. "Oh, my god." I gasped, backing up. I'm not on the internet or on any instant message program. I was just on Microsoft Word. Since when they do offer this kind of service?
Are you MSF? My eyes widening, I rubbed my eyes and wiped my glasses. When I put them on again and looked at the screen again. It didn't disappear. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I decided to answer. This kind of reminded me of something in a book I read.
Who are you? I typed, ignoring the previous question.
Answer my question first. It said simply. I typed back.
No. My name is Kay. It's not MSF.
Kay? Are you a fanfic writer?
Yeah, but you didn't answer my question yet.
My name is Seto Kaiba. I frowned. "One of those?"
Look, it's not funny, whoever you are. I can understand if he's your favorite character but hacking into my computer and pretending to be a character is just plain stupid. I exited out of Microsoft Word and was about to play a game. The program opened up to a blank document. "Don't tell me. I have a virus?" I clicked out of it. It popped up another a new document. This continued on for several minutes until I gave up. "Stupid computer..."
If you're done with this foolishness, then let's talk. I glared at the computer.
Leave me alone! I'm going to tell my friend who's an expert hacker to find out who you are. When I do, you're going to be in so much trouble.
I'd like to see you try something. That's it! There was no sense in arguing about this. I was simply going to have to tell Asato, my computer expert buddy about this. He'll fix it. He loves to do that kind of thing. I made to shutdown the PC but- "What the?" As soon as my hand touched the mouse, my hand was dissolving into thin air. I felt myself being pushed forward. I thought I was going to bump my head into the screen but instead...
"Oh, my..." I was floating in thin air. I was afraid to move. If I moved, I would probably fall to my death. That wouldn't be pretty. I was wearing a hoodie but still I felt cold. Where am I? I looked around. I was no longer in my room or my house for that matter. I looked down. BAD IDEA! I couldn't breathe anymore. I was literally in the sky. There was a city below me. Me with no jetpack, no parachute and no wings and I was among the clouds. "Does this mean I died?" I asked out of nowhere. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly, I was falling, falling and falling.
"Hey, wake up! Wake up!" Someone was slapping my face. I felt my spit dripping down my chin. Finally, I woke up fully, feeling pain. The person who was slapping me didn't know I was awake. He kept slapping me. I held my fist out and punched him.
"What's wrong with you!" I snapped, clutching my face. Tears were threatening to spill but not because I wanted to cry. His slaps were lethal. The tears came from pain. Unbeknownst to me, my face was pink with his handprints. The person that I punched was recovering from my assault.
"Hey, girly. I was just trying to wake you up. See if I help you in the near future," he growled. It was at that moment that I thought he looked familiar. I pointed at him and noticed the other people crowding him and I. I looked at them. They looked at me. A boy with blonde hair, clad in a simple T-shirt and jeans, poked my face. Then he stretched my face into a smile. He squished my nose, flicked my nose and pulled my hair. "Ow!" He stepped back.
"Wow! She looks like a person!" The others sweatdropped at Jounouchi's exclamation.
"You never cease to amaze me, mutt," Kaiba said.
"All right! What the hell is going on here?" I snapped at all of them. "Who are all of you and where am I?"
"I wanna try now, nii-sama!" A little boy of probably ten-years-old exclaimed. He walked towards me. I was somewhat alert, glaring at him in suspicion. He had a smile on his face. He poked my forehead. I swatted his hand away. "Please step back now," I said in contained anger.
"Are you threatening him?" A taller than me teenage boy growled.
"I merely asked him-" I began but more of them started to pull my nose, pull my hair, stretching my face and flicking my ears.
"So this is how one looks like." One of them commented.
"One what exactly?" I looked at the one who made the comment.
"An author," he said.
"Oh," I said simply. I dropped my anger at once. "Well, I am one but not officially. See I'm trying to- Hey, wait a minute! That doesn't explain why all of you are hurting me." I complained, nursing my nose, face and my ears.
"Sorry but we've never seen one up close before," an older woman with long blonde hair said. She crossed her arms. I looked at her strangely.
"Right, well. Authors are human. You know that, right?" I asked cautiously. I got up from the ground and dusted myself off. "Um...could whoever is normal tell me how I can get home? I live in Tokyo in the-"
"What are you talking about? Tokyo?" The guy that slapped me said. He had long white hair. It was very...wild.
"You know, Japan's capital. Tokyo, it's kind of like New York but it's in Japan. We are in Japan, right?"
"Then you should at least have heard the word Tokyo, right?"
"Are you sure you got the right one, Kaiba? This one's nuts." The one who looks so familiar to me. Why do these people look so familiar?
"You're one to talk, Bakura."
"Oh!" I snapped my finger. "Of course, that's why. All of you are cosplayers. That explains your likeness to all the characters from Yu-Gi-Oh. There's Seto Kaiba, Ryou Bakura, Mai Kujaku, Jounouchi Katsuya, Yugi Mouto, Anzu Mazaki, Shizuka Kawai, Malik Ishtar, Isis Ishtar, Bakura, Atemu, Honda Hiroto, Mokuba Kaiba and Otogi Ryuuji." I pointed to all of them as I said the character that they're dressed as. "The anime convention must be in town. I'm not into that stuff but your costumes are really convincing. Wow, how do you get your hair to stand like that?" I asked, poking the fake Yugi's hair.
"I'm starting to think I did get the wrong person," the tall brunette said again. "Aren't you MSF?"
That same question. "For the last time, my name is Kay. Kay Hara. Not MSF!"
"Hi, Rei." The Mokuba look-a-like greeted me.
"So, Faye. Do you write fanfiction?" The Honda look-a-like asked me.
"It's Kay and yes, I do. What of it?"
"That's great, Gay! You can help us then!" The Mai look-a-like exclaimed. I corrected her. She didn't apologize.
"Help you? How?"
"You have no idea how happy we are to have you here, May," The Seto look-a-like said with seriousness.
"The name's Kay!" I corrected. "And why? I don't even know you."
"Please, Kay-san, you have to help us," Shizuka said.
"I said, my name's Gay! I mean, Kay. You actually got my name right," I said, looking at her. Since she cared enough to learn my name, I listened to them. "Okay, what exactly do you need help with?"
"We need you to write a fanfiction." Isis said.
"I don't take story requests unless I ask for them." I said simply.
"This fanfiction will determine our future," she continued.
"You are all crazy," I said. "except you." I said to Shizuka. She smiled but I walked away from her. If these nutcases couldn't help me, I'll find someone else. Then the Ryou look-a-like took out something. I recognized the unmistakeable smell of
"CREAM PUFFS!" I ran Matrix-style to retrieve the glorious baked goods. I love cream puffs. Unfortunately, I would later learn to never take cream puffs from Ryou Bakura or he would chase me down with the intention of murder.
The whole gang except Ryou sweatdropped at the sight of me munching on them. The latter was not amused. "No, Ryou, don't!" Bakura yelled, trying to hold back his weaker but really strong now half. "We need her to save us from the fate of bad romance fanfic!"
"Must...kill!" Ryou screamed, trying to get to me. Geez! I didn't know he was so sensitive about this. But I was still hungry so I continued to eat them.
"Help me, you idiots!" Bakura shouted at the remaining group. They came forward. Seto took hold of Bakura's waist, Atemu went behind him, then it was Yugi, Anzu, Malik, Shizuka, Honda, Otogi, Isis, Mai, Jou and Mokuba in that order. I watch curiously as they tried to restrain the angry Ryou from me. I was calmly snacking. They pushed forward and backward which made me think this was some kind of sick...orgy or something.
A/N: Hey, thanks for reading this far. I felt like I wanted to do a humor fic so badly but I had no real inspiration for one. This story idea was a fluke. One day I wanted to read something funny and I looked up humor fics but everytime I did, there would also be Humor/Romance. So I was frustrated with all the romance fics. There's just so many. It's not like I hate them but I want to read something funny without the romance once in a while. Anyway, please don't be offended if you write the kind of fics that I mention here.