Lioness-chan: This is…a tiny little fic-let. Wait, don't "–let," "little," and "tiny" mean the same thing? C'est la vie. Oh, and Kyo-kun's doing the disclaimer today.

Kyo-kun: Why the beep do I have to do the disclaimer?

Lioness-chan: . Kyo, I'm trying to write a fic that isn't rated T, and you're definitely not helping! Now behave, or you don't get a tuna sandwich!

Kyo-kun: Tuna? Fine, this--lioness-super-powered glare! Just—She doesn't own it, okay?

Lioness-chan: Good boy. starts to eat sandwich

Kyo-kun: Hey, my sandwich!

Lioness-chan: hands Kyo another sandwich No, I packed two tuna. I'm a cat too, ya know. Nya! :3


Dear Wonderful, Beautiful, Magnificent, Superb, Breathtaking, Fantastic Diary

Chapter One



Dear wonderful, beautiful, magnificent, superb, breathtaking, fantastic Diary,

My brother's expression turned to one of a combination of horror, bewilderment, and (Dare I say it? Yes, I shall!) curiosity. This day reminds me of Yuki's day of romance. But I am getting ahead of myself.

Now, of course, my store is absolutely, positively fantastic. But, sometimes it's boring there when there are no projects Mine will let me work on. So, when and I became rather tired with idling in my fabulous store, I came up with the wonderfully perfectly perfect idea of picking up my most beloved younger brother, and his comrades.

To be fair, we brought Hatori so that…I don't know. We felt like it. Hmm…I must think about that for a moment…All done! There was absolutely no reason to bring Ha'ri. No worries, however, for he quickly and almost eagerly abandoned us.

Well, anyway, trying to follow in his superbly magnificent nii-san's footsteps, my delightful Yuki was president of the student body, as you very well know, dear Diary. You know, I knew from the very beginning that my adoring younger brother would try to do everything I ever did. So, we had to wait even longer than we normally would have.

Bored close to tears waiting outside, Shigure and myself spent our time doing anything we could come up with. Though...flirting (such a word!)…with each other is fun, we were beginning to tire of it because frankly, we weren't embarrassing anyone, such as the usual Ha'ri or my darling, adoring brother Yuki, making it extremely dull. Besides, too many people seemed to be taking us seriously. Had no one heard of a friendly jest?

We quickly scampered into the building and wandered around the halls. I think we saw Hatsuharu throwing something through a window, but I couldn't get a very good look. The boy immediately ran back into the room, and threw many desks and chairs out of the large gaping hole. Now that I have had a chance to ponder on it, dear Diary, I can now say with assurance that in fact, it could have very well been Hatsuharu. If it was, I think that he should go to a psychiatrist. They know how to deal with people like him.

After what seemed like hours of walking through mazes of hallways, we made it to the student council room, where we (being myself and 'Gure, if you remember) were immediately showered with cries of happiness and praise. I do tend to have that effect, so it didn't slight me one bit. That one black-haired boy, the one that agreed so quickly for me to be the commander immediately came over and gave me a bounty of much deserved admiration.

For some reason, however, my little Yuki had a small fit of self-centeredness, and brought us back into the hall, depriving his fellow classmates the wonderful experience of being in my company. I must teach my brother, among other things, not to be so selfish. My adoring Yuki then pulled Shigure and myself further away from the room.

Walking back after making my glorious appearance as commander, we passed the homeroom of Yuki, Kyonkichi, and Tohru. In other words, Mayuko's room. What we saw was…well…

"Ha'ri, at least close the door!" Shigure called, chortling.

I sniggered and said, "Hatori, you are naughty, simply naughty."

Yuki, being behind us, and not nearly as tall as our regal selves, rudely pushed me aside to see what we were laughing at. After staring for about…three seconds, he ran off.

Unfortunately, Tori closed the door and locked us out. No longer able to tease our comrade, we skipped off to find my darling little Yuki.

We finally caught up with him just as he reached the door and ran to where Kyonkichi and Tohru were playing some card game with classmates. For shame, Diary! I know you just imagined poor Tohru in her school uniform. How sinful! Though, I could probably make much cuter ones myself, with the help of Mine, of course.

"Yuki-kun, what's wrong?" Tohru asked, worried.

All that my unfortunate brother could say was, "…uh…" so I told my attentive audience, "Your teacher Mayuko-san was making out with Ha'ri-san!!!" Everyone stared at my profound intelligence and beauty in awe.

Well, Tori is trying to rip this page out of you, dear Diary, though he is also trying to strangle me with my own hair. Oh no, now he's just trying to kill me.

Give up, Ha'ri. It can't be---OWCHIES!


Review, please!