Lioness-chan: Here's chappie numba dos! Whoo-hoo! Sugar Rush! Come on, chant with me! Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush!

Kyo-kun: What the hell?

Lioness-chan: --.-- Kyo, remember what I said last time about cursing? Why do you think that you're not in this story?

Kyo-kun: Why do you have me here, then? Everyone knows that you like Shigure, Ayame, and Hatori best.

Lioness-chan: Well, duh. Now, do the disclaimer, Orange-head!

Kyo-kun[mumbles Lioness doesn't own Fruits Basket, the [beep.

Lioness-chan: Kyo is Signor Stupid! Nya! :3


Shigure is hard, due partially because I'm not trying to portray the real him. (The evil, manipulative, self-centered beep) I'm just trying to do a happy little fic, so I made him as sort of a mix between Hatori and Ayame. He can be silly, and he can be more serious. Of course, he'll always be a pervert.

Also, I'm now Idyllic Nocturne, but I'm continuing this as Lioness because that's how it was originally written. I'm still trying to figure out Idyllic's persona. Most likely, she'll split into Idyllic and Nocturne, like White Haru and Black Haru.


Dear Wonderful, Beautiful, Magnificent, Superb, Breathtaking, Fantastic Diary

Chapter Two



Dear Diary,

Today was absolutely hilarious!

Aya and I were in his store, when we were suddenly overcome with boredom. Looking at the time, we saw that Yuki's school had let out, so we decided to go over and pick everyone up. (High school girls! Young, innocent high school girls!)

We did have Hatori with us, but he soon left. Since it was all thanks to me that he and Mayuko got together, I instantly knew where he would be headed. Writers such as I just have amazing intuition, I suppose.

Walking through the halls I couldn't help but chant in my head "High school, high school, high school girls!" Because it was so late after school, there weren't very many, I'm afraid. But the girls that I did see knew how to properly wear their uniforms. Ahem.

Anyway, while we were walking, I looked down a hallway, and wouldn't you know it, there was Hatsuharu! He seemed to be having a lot of fun throwing things such as desks through the windows, so I tried to hide behind Aya.

Diary, I know that many diaries before you have felt the wrath of Black Haru, so I needn't explain just how frightening he can be. Especially when he's coming at you with a fairly large piece of sharp glass.

We succeeded in leaving before Black Haru could kill us and continued a walk down the hallways. I should suggest to Akito that Haru needs some help. Even the head of the family can't ignore how much he's costing us with all of the repairs. I would bet that the cost rivals that of the expenses of maintaining my house. My poor wallet. Did I tell you, dear Diary, that this month, Kyo hasn't broken one single—

I stand corrected.

Continuing on, we finally came to the student council room. Inside were many boring people who flocked, of course, to Aya. He's just that type of person. As they goggled at the student council commander, and Yuki bickered with his nii-san, I grinned to myself, imagining what Micchan would do when she found the house empty.

On second thought, maybe I should have at least left a note, I suppose. I actually like my editor very much. Maybe I should ask her out drinking sometime. I bet, if I play my cards right, I could get Ha'ri to "force" me to as an apology. Hmm…

Anyway, we picked up Yuki and made our way to find my little housewife and the brute. Not only did he just tear through my doors, he somehow also found his way into my room and destroyed the stacks of paper lying about! What if they had been my manuscript? Micchan would most assuredly murder him, then. Hmm… I could tell her that they were my completed manuscript. Then, I wouldn't have Kyon-kyon destroying my house.

But I was telling you about my wonderful day, when my house was still intact.

Yuki was arguing with Aya, and so it was up to me to find the Tohru in distress. (She must have been in distress; she was with Kyo!) I immediately came up with numerous places where they could be, including the locker rooms, but I decided to go to Mayuko's room first.

She's pining for me, you know. Of course, we could never be, so she has gone to her fallback, Ha'ri. I'm not about to tell him that he's a fallback, though.

Aya reached the door before me, spoiling my grand entrance for one of his own. I must say, though, Aya really is magnificent at entrances, so I let it be.

As soon as I reached the door, I was stunned. I had no idea that Hatori was such a sex-fiend. He certainly wasn't that way with Kana! The whole thing had been innocent, and very boring. It was much better with Mayuko. I could use them in one of my stories! I would have to change their professions, though. I don't want to seem cliché with the doctor/teacher pairing. Writer/teacher would be much better. After all, a teacher could appreciate writing much more than general medicine. Hmm…

I immediately imagined Ha'ri's face when he learned that I had used them. Poor sex-starved Hatori doesn't realize that I provide women and men everywhere a sexual escape from their dull, mundane lives! Mayuko's face would be hilarious, though. Just think of it, dear Diary!

I burst out laughing. Hatori the horny dragon… It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I could turn it into a song! I would become a worldwide hit, and I would have to come up with yet another pseudonym to escape a pummeling from all of my adoring fans…

"Ha'ri, at least close the door!" I cried, gasping for breath between raucous bouts of laughter. Those poor high-school girls that could have seen them and be scarred for life! It would truly be a tragedy if such a distressing sight drove them to becoming asexual. Why, I couldn't live knowing that Hatori had ruined these poor girls lives! He could have ruined my little housewife! I nearly died at the thought.

"Hatori, you are naughty, simply naughty," Aya said, sniggering. Ha'ri jumped like he had been electrocuted and quickly stepped back from Mayuko. Yuki grew terribly impatient and pushed his way to see what we were laughing at. His face grew terribly pale, and I realized that Yuki might have been scarred for life and at that moment turned asexual.

It wouldn't be much of a waste; in fact, one girl or boy might have been saved today from spending a relationship with Yuki. Just think, dear Diary! By exposing Yuki and robbing him of his innocence, we just saved someone!

Of course, all he saw was a disheveled doctor and teacher, but he must have known what was going on, because he ran off with his face turning a bright crimson.

After Ha'ri slammed the door in our faces, we followed at a more leisurely pace. We finally found him with Tohru and her friends, along with Kyo, Momiji, Haru, and Yuki.

Yuki was still looking quite flustered, and everyone was trying to get information from him. When Yuki's truly being stubborn, though, it simply can't be done, and so Aya and I lent our knowledge.

"Your homeroom teacher Mayuko-chan was making out with Ha'ri!" Everyone stared in disbelief at Aya, while I nodded sagely.

Kyo jumped up and ripped off his shirt. He immediately started pounding on his chest like an idiot, singing a song of lament. He was in love with Hatori, dear Diary.

And yes, Kyo, I can tell you're reading this over my shoulder. Really, how rude! I—

After Kyon-Kyon hit me, the idiot tripped over one of my bookcases and nearly destroyed my computer. He's still stuck under there as I write this. I suppose that I really should help him, but dinner's ready, and it would be rude to let the supper that Tohru prepared turn cold. Bye-bye, Kyo! I'll be back later if I remember!