SUEVIVOR

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, peoples! J Hope you like this chapter!!! And as someone pointed out, why do I bother reading Mary Sue stories? Well, I don't unless they're like, idiotically funny.

CHALLENGE 9: THE LAST CHALLENGE

Keanna and Stormy were the last Sues in the game and they couldn't believe it.

//Stomy's cam//

"I never imagined that I would be one of the last ones here!!! OK, well, I did sorta plan this out in my mind, but still!"

//Keanna's cam//

"I will crush her!"

//back to normal cam//

"So, should we do something in honor of the other Sues?" Stormy, who was painting her nails, asked.

"Like what?" Keanna asked her. She was working on controlling things with her mind.

"Well, I saw on Survivor that when there was only two people left, they went up on this beg hill and like, burned pictures of the others and said nice stuff about them," Stormy said, blowing on her nails.

"Well, I guess we could….." Keanna started, trying to think of what to do.

"No, forget it. I hated all of them anyway," Stormy said.

A while later they went into their bed rooms to pack their bags, because they knew that this was their last day there.

Then they came back into the living, Keanna carrying one small suit case, and Stormy dragging about seventeen.
Keanna stared at her. -.- "You disgust me."

They waited for a few tense hours, barley talking. Finally Keanna looked up at the clock.
"It's time," She said solemnly.

With a deep breath, Stormy got up.

They headed down to the Great Hall.

XOXOXOXOXO

Jade H. was waiting for them when they got there.

"Hi guys. Well, in the tradition of Survivor, we are going to bring you guys somewhere else to do the final episode," she said.
So suddenly the Sues were sitting next to each other in a room filled with screaming fans.

"Wow! How'd they do that?!" Stormy asked.

"That's the magic of TV," Jade H. said. "Now, on to the show."

Jade H. stood up and everyone slowly stopped cheering for their favorite Sues.

"As you all know, it's the last episode of SUEvivor. Tonight, one Harry Potter Mary Sue will be given the title of ultimate Sue, but which one will it be? Will it be Stormy Cool?" The camera turned to Stormy, who waved and said, "It's so me!"

"Or will it be Keanna Riddle?" And the camera turned to Keanna, who just glared.

"Tonight, we will find out. But how will we decide? Well, for that, we've brought in some extra special judges," Jade H. told them, smiling slyly.

"Oooo! I love Bob and Phil!" Stormy cried, clapping her hands.

But the people who came out from behind the curtain were not Bob and Phil. The first one out was…..Adreana, who had been the first Sue voted out! Following her was Sandrena, then Aradia, Forrest, Harriet, Vixen, Jade S., and finally Rose Petal! They all sat down in front of the shocked Sues, some looking more vengeful then others.

"See? Are you shocked yet?" Jade H. asked hopefully.
Stormy and Keanna nodded.

"Oh my god! It's them!" Stormy whispered.

"That's right, girly! And we get to decide which one of you win!" Sandrena cackled.

"Come on now, Sues. Let's just get down to business. Tonight is the final episode of SUEvivor, Harry Potter addition. Both of you Mary Sues have gone through hell to get to this place, a place so many others just dream of being. You both got through the first challenge, showing us that you think like a proper Mary Sue, knowing how to answer ridicules questions.

"You both somehow managed to handle real life situations, which other Mary Sues could not have done. Keanna, you had a lot of trouble taking care of that baby even for one hour! How was it?" Jade H. asked her.

"Horrible. Voldemort's daughters are not meant to take care of children," Keanna said, shuddering at the memory.

"Mmm hmm. And then you both got through the obstacle course challenge, even managing to not get knocked over by the watermelons, which, by the way, was really a weird chose of obstacle. Then you came through the rigorous challenge of getting as many men to fall in love with you as possible. Stormy, I believe you won that challenge, with pretty much every guy in your assigned café. What was that challenge like for you?" Jade H. asked.

"Well," Stormy said, flipping her hair back. "It was totally awesome, especially how I got more then…others." Stormy gave Rose Petal a nasty look. "It wasn't even hard. I didn't even have to wear my Never Fails to Get The Guy Dress ™!"

"That's nice, dear. Anyway, then both of you managed to come through the talent show with flying colors, but it was Vixen with her incredible Animagus abilities who won. The next challenge was the one where you all had to go through a clichéd fan fic romance scene. Jade S. won, but Keanna almost got it. Keanna, you were paired with your worst enemy. How was that for you?"

"Horrible! How could fan fic authors be so stupid?! I hate all Potters, especially that one!" Keanna griped.

"Well, to be fair, that is an interesting plot, but just over done. Anyway, the next challenge you came through was the Day in The Life of A Sue challenge. It was a tough one, and nobody ended up winning because of Rose Petal's evilness. Stormy, how did you feel about that?"

"It was awesome! I couldn't stand the little //bleep//!!!" Stormy cried.

"In my defense, I was framed!" Rose Petal said.

"You admitted to using illegal curses to get people to not vote you out!" Jade H. snapped.

"Oh…right."

"Anyway, then the last challenge you guys went through was the Dancing With The Strange challenge. Keanna won that one and Jade S. was unfairly voted out. Keanna, what was that like for you?" Jade H. asked.

"I was quite happy that I had beaten them. I knew I would, of course," Keanna said.

"Right, well, on with this challenge. You've both had great run, but only one of you will win. All you have to do is tell us why YOU deserve to be named the next Ultimate Mary Sue. Stormy, you first," Jade H. said.

Stormy looked surprised. "That's it? Really? Um, OK. Well, obviously, I am the most Sueish. Just look at my hair. Watch how it shines, won't you?" Stormy picked up a strand of her blond hair. Everyone 'oooed' and 'ahhh-ed' appropriately as her hair shined beautifully.

"Yeah, see? And how many fan fictions do you think characters like me have been in? Well I'll tell ya. Millions. Yeah, that many! In almost every Mary Sue fic out there, I am present as 'the Mysterious Foreign Exchange Student from America.' There are way more fics with me in them then with Keanna!" Stormy said. Keanna supporters booed.

"Oh, shut up! You know I'm frickin' awesome! I always make tons of guys fall in love with me! I have special powers! I have everything a Mary Sue needs! I am the most annoying person in fan fiction…which isn't really a good thing, but it means I am the Ultimate Mary Sue!" Stormy cried, and her supporters cheered.

"Very good, Stormy. Keanna, your turn," Jade H. said.

"Well, as my opponent stated, she makes countless guys fall in love with her. I make but one per fic fall for me, which is much more realistic. Also, it's much more romantic when the man I fall in love with is the one my father sends me to kill! And my hair is also shiny! It's a water fall of obsidian beauty! And my skin is white as virgin snow! (A/N: That's how someone described her OC's skin) If I'm not the Ultimate Mary Sue, no one is!"

And Keanna lovers went crazy.

"I have something Stormy doesn't: Angst and unhappiness! So no matter who wins, I will always be unhappy!!! But still, pick me!" Keanna cried to the camera.

"OK, peoples, you heard the Sues! Now we'll hear who the judges voted for!" Jade H. yelled over the fans cheering.

The judges were still talking about what they had just heard. Finally Jade S. stood up.

"We have come to a conclusion. Considering the fact that an even number of reviewers voted for Keanna and Stormy, and we had to count that in, it was hard to chose. In the end, we went with the one that we thought was the most Sueish and the one that the author wanted to win," Jade S. said sadly. The other Sues were looking sad, too, but not because they had to chose between two of their friends, but because they didn't win.

"And the winner of SUEvivor, the Ultimate Harry Potter Mary sue is…."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"….Stormy."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" Stormy jumped up and down on her chair, screaming.

Stormy supporters screamed along with her. A tiara was put on her head Miss America style and she was sobbing uncontrollably (of course her make up remained perfect).

"Congratulations Stormy! You are the Ultimate Mary Sue! Your prize is that you win a million dollars, and go down in history as a Ultimate Mary Sue! It sucks, I know, but hey, you played the game!" Jade H. announced as a sash that said 'Ultimate Harry Potter Mary Sue' was placed around the still sobbing Stormy.

Jade H. turned to the camera. "That's all for SUEvivor, Harry Potter edition. We'll see you next season! Good bye!"

AFTER SUEVIVOR:

Stormy went on to star in countless other fan fictions, and became a teacher at the Fan Fiction Academy of Mary Sues. She donated the money to a make up company so other people could look as pretty as her. She now lives in her New York City apartment with her boyfriends.

Keanna became a member of the Order, secretly spying on her father, though now we just gave that away! She won second place in SUEvivor and so she the second most famous Sue.

Jade S. lives happily in her mansion with Severus. She went on to star in some sickeningly overdone fan fictions about her being able to turn Snape good. They are happily married and have three pet monkeys.

Rose Petal was arrested for trying to kill Stormy several times.

That's all the important Sues, so the end!

END OF SUEVIVOR.

A/N: Thank you all if you reviewed! To bad this is the end! L Oh well, please review!