A/N Wooohooo! It's more of Froggie's inability to write! –dances- Oh well. Yes, I KNOW this is clichéd. I don't really mind… it was still fun to write. Anymoo… I know that there's faaaaaar too much dialogue and not nearly enough action in the fic. I may actually end up rewriting it.
I wonder if anyone actually reads these Author's Note things. I know I don't most of the time. Hmm. Anyone who reads this gets cookies!
Sorry for mistakes… I didn't get a chance to proofread because my parents decided to drag me off the computer (They re currently singing a song they made up along the lines of "Wo ist dein Lunch Box"). Pity me.
Disclaimer: Guess what? I don't own Harry Potter, and I don't feel like being clever about it! Yay me!
Crooked Kisses (Or Define: Perfect)-
Lily sat, staring dejectedly into the fire. She had not, she decided, waited so long for this. Yes, he was perfect, but what did that mean, really? She huffed into her collar sadly. To her, someone perfect had always been someone courteous, brave, funny, enchanting, kind, caring, and… well… perfect. She had entertained visions of finding that perfect person, though always assuming it would be later, when she had graduated from Hogwarts and was a Healer.
Lily thought back to the same day a year ago, when Brian Patil had asked her out. He had been… perfect. Handsome, charming, funny, brave, kind, courteous. Unlike some people she knew, he had not gone around boasting or hurting people weaker than himself. But what had made Lily happiest was her certainty that he was in love with her. No one else would have asked her out and risked the pranks and tortures the Marauderers would then indubitably inflict upon them. James, it seemed, was determined that Lily should never be happy.
Even James had given up after a few months though, and until this very day, Lily had been blissfully content. The second half of sixth and the first half of seventh had been perfect. Lily had divided her time between Brian and schoolwork. But today… it had all seemed different. Brian had been the same, kissing her lovingly and making her laugh, but there had something that she had difficulty placing. Could it be that he was too perfect?
'Lily' she told herself sternly 'You can't accuse a person of being too perfect! Decide what you want and stick to it!' Nevertheless, it felt wrong to Lily. Today had been… boring.
'Maybe we just need a change of scene' Lily thought sadly. "Something… new. Or Different. Or Both." She said quietly to herself. She would never admit it, but sometimes she missed the way that James, thinking himself exceptionally romantic, had dragged her off to (and through) parts of Hogwarts she had never seen before, pushing her out onto some balcony to look at a patch of water in a certain light. 'Brian does that!' she chided herself. 'Though it's never quite so… spontaneous.'
"A planned trip to the lake is different." She said out loud. Then she blushed, tearing her eyes from the dancing flames as she checked to make sure that no one had been listening.
The common room was almost empty. It seemed darker than it was, mainly because Lily's eyes had been glued to the bright fire for so long, so at first she had trouble recognizing the lone figure that was sitting at a table doing his work. At least, he had been doing his work until she had spoken out a second time. Now he was staring at her, head slightly tilted.
"Different from what?"
Lily squeezed her eyes shut and spoke a silent prayer. 'Please don't let it be who I think it is… Please, Please, Please don't let that be who I think it is.' But it was. James Potter was staring at her. She stared back blankly for a moment before she realized that he was expecting an answer.
"Sorry… what was the question again?" She asked, stalling for time. He made to stand, and then thought better of it.
"What's a planned trip to the lake different from?" he asked quietly, staring at her from across the room, his head still tilted. Lily nibbled her lip.
"An unplanned one I guess" she said quietly. They sat in silence for a moment, though it seemed to last longer. James started to turn back to his homework, but Lily spoke again. "Potter…?" she began, "Have you ever- no. You wouldn't have."
"Wouldn't have what?" he asked curiously, giving her his full attention.
"I was going to ask… but no. Look. It's like this. You've never cared if someone perfect really. I mean, look at you! You go out with anyone who has a pretty face, or a nice body, or both really. It doesn't mean anything to you. It's just a thing. It's easy for you to say you're in love, because they're just words. You've never really… I don't know… cared. You don't know what it's like, striving for perfection. You don't know what it's like to find that what you think is perfection, what you think you've been looking for all your life, what you think is just the right person is actually not perfection, it's all wrong. You've never yearned for perfection, have you? The perfect relationship doesn't matter to you… as long as it's pleasant." The words poured out of Lily's mouth. She didn't guide them, or even think about them. She would have gone on, had James not interrupted her.
"You're wrong Evans." He said shortly, though his voice was still soft. Lily glared at him.
"Don't tell me you've changed! Don't tell me you don't fall for every pretty face you-" she began hotly, but James stopped her again.
"I won't. That's not what you were wrong about. But you are wrong when you think that I don't yearn for perfection. I've seen perfection, and I can't, and won't, ever have it. But that's where we're different Lily. I'd rather have imperfection than nothing at all. It's more… interesting."
"Is it?" asked Lily, suddenly dying to know. "Is it… interesting, loving someone who's not perfect at all?" She watched him closely as she waited for the answer.
"Sometimes. When it's unpredictable." James turned back to his work again. He had, seemingly, lost interest in the conversation. Lily got up and walked over to him. It seemed to take her an eternity to walk over, and as she walked, she felt tears spring unbidden to her eyes.
"James," she said, almost pleadingly, "I…" For the first time, words failed Lily. How could she explain how she was feeling when she wasn't even sure herself? She was confused. If Brian wasn't perfect, then who was? Someone less perfect? "Where did I go wrong?"
He turned to face her again.
"Please don't do this to me Lily," James begged, his voice strained, "Don't give me hope where there is none. Don't come to me when you're just going to run away."
Lily drew back angrily. "You think I'm leading you on? Is that what you think? I come for advice and you… you… Well… You're just a…a…"
"… pretentious, bigheaded, arrogant, twerpy, idiotic toerag. I know." He mumbled. "You've certainly told me enough." He glanced back at his work, and then at her. "I think I'll do my homework in my room." He said sadly.
But as he turned to go, she grabbed his arm, her eyes full of real pleading now. "James-" her voice cracked. "I need you to explain what's going on." He sighed and sat down yet again.
"Evans," he began tonelessly, "You spent so much time thinking about the perfect man that when he came along, you grabbed him with joy. But you forgot that there's never any story after the happily ever after. Cause it just ends there. That's what you're feeling. The story doesn't go on, Evans. Things aren't going to change or become exciting. And you only just figured that out. There's nothing Patil or you can do to improve. You're stuck with each other, being perfect and happy, forever and ever. Both of you. Perfect and happy!" His lecture stopped making as much sense half way through and his voice turned bitter. "You and Patil were just so perfect, but neither of you had to work at it. Patil didn't have to stare after you for years and years, he just had to ask you out. You didn't have to deal with Patil for years and years, you just had to say 'Yes'. There's no give or take in your relationship, just utter placidness."
A single tear slid slowly down his left cheek. Against her wishes or her orders, Lily's hand reached up to wipe it off. Her hand, which seemed to have a mind of its own, remained on his cheek as though stuck there. Both of them looked at it, both wanting to pull away, both stopping themselves. Then their eyes met, and they both knew it.
'He's going to kiss me.' Thought Lily.
'I'm going to kiss her.' Thought James.
He leaned in.
Maybe Lily tilted her head back a little to far, or maybe James stuck his head to far forward. Maybe the little gasp of breath Lily gave broke his concentration. Or maybe they both kept their eyes open for a fraction of a second too long, not wanting to look away. Whatever happened, the kiss was slightly crooked.
James pulled back first, gazing down at Lily with eyes she was staring to have trouble seeing as the fire in the hearth began to die.
"That was-" he began.
"Not so perfect." Lily finished, as she leaned in for another kiss.
Author's Babble: Whee! So that was my clichéd fic of doom! PLEASE review, if only to correct mistakes I made. (Read top note).
I luff y'all for reading!