Alright, so... This is my first Naruto fanfic. Yay for me! By seeing the anime and checking out some manga and japanese eps, I found myself obsessed with the character of Gaara. He's just so beautifully dark and misunderstood... When I saw the episode on his past, I cried. Yeah, pitiful, I know. Anyways, how it seemed to emphasize love on his character really struck a chord in my heart. You see, love is an important emotion in my eyes, the reason for living, and to see him torn from it, forced to endure without it, really broke my heart. So I decided to write a romance fic for Gaara!
Now, the problem was, who to match him with? I considered Hinata, but thought that she was perhaps a bit too soft spoken to handle someone as intense as Gaara. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl - she reminds me so much of me! -, but I wasn't sure if I, personally, could make the pairing work. Then I thought of the next pairing which seems to be so popular amongst Gaara fans: Sakura. Well, I'm big into symbolism, and really liked the parallels in their personalities paired up with the similarities in their appearences. You'll see some of these things in my fic, so I won't really explain what I saw. So, that is how Midnight Tears became a Gaasaku fanfiction!
Alright, lastly, this will be written in first person, changing from Gaara to Sakura's point of view (Don't worry, I'll tell you when it happens.). Each chapter will contain one part for Sakura, and one for Gaara. And the chapters will be short. Like, between 900-1200 words, short. But this is for updating purposes! I find that if I write very little per chapter, I have the ability to shake of writers block and update more often. Alright, enough of my ranting, onto some stuff you need to know, then the Prolouge!
Title: Midnight Tears
Rating: T (PG-13)
Summary: Red: Powerful, angry, bloody, vengeful. Pink: Friendly, cheery, tender, delicate. What happens when two opposites are forced to collide? One is out for blood, the other is out for survival. Gaara needs redemption, and Sakura needs strength. They began as enemies, but now, under dire circumstances, will end as allies.
Description: This is set just before the Chuunin exams and continues through that storyline with many altered twists.
Writing Style: First person with alternating views.
Review please! No flames...please!
The following isn't exactly a part of the story, but it sets the mood for what this fiction is about.
The night is cold,
The bell, it tolls
Twelve strokes of dismal sound.
And Midnight Tears,
Shed from our fears,
Will fall upon the ground.
...Seen through Gaara's eyes...
My heart, it burns. My mind, it burns. Here to love, there to love.
I've said it - I've said 'I love you' - and I've lied. I do not love. I can't.
Though I have come close to that glorious emotion.
But not now.
I want to, but they stand in the way. Three things in the way.
Obsession - so dark, so consuming, and fear it brings forth. Doubt - why me? It is a lie. Open your eyes, mind! Open your eyes and guard your heart. Guard your heart again, again. Hate - so close to love. What seperates the two? What is the difference, tell me! I hate because I fear, I fear because I doubt. I hate to fear, and I'm angry because of my own inadequacy as an emotional being.
I feel - I feel so much - but I can't show it. I can never show it.
I fear because I long for love and acceptence and am afraid of the possibility of losing something I do not even have. And in inaction, I live my fears and miss the chance of gaining the very thing that motivates me to act the way I do.
Forever the pain. Forever the hope of something better. Forever the dreams, the confusion, the bottled emotion. Forever. Eternity.
Damn it all...
...Seen through Sakura's eyes...
I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about life, friendships...enemies. About strangers I've never met, but love anyways. How one's heart can ache so much for the tears of another. That it's possible to be choked with emotion, and not know exactly how you feel. That you can cry out of joy, and cry out of sorrow, and cry out of anger, and even though those tears are the same, somehow they taste different. That seeing another pour out their heart compels you to do the same.
Why can a simple smile evoke so much emotion? Why can a frown do the same? How can one word mean many different things? How can something so fantastically fearful, joyfully sorrowful, peacefully frenzied, be wrapped up, twisted, and molded into one single word? Emotion. One word to define our actions. One word to describe our personality. One single, pitiful, useless word to tell us why we choke on words, why we make mistakes, why we can both love and hate with all our hearts.
No, you couldn't put a word to what I felt. The pain, the fear, the sorrow swirling in my heart. The hope, the acceptance rising in my soul. My, my, my. You, you, you. But where is the "us"? The "we"? The family I've come to know and trust in these people? I love them - I love you -because the tears I've shed lately have nothing to do with the pain in my life. I cry for you because I care. Because you know no better than the life you live right now. Because you have troubles of your own, but still take the time to love me. You understand that a smile means so much more when it comes from you. That a nod says more than all the small talk one could speak. That it's okay to let someone cry, and it's okay to comfort them. That an embrace holds all the comfort in the world. A pat on the shoulder can band people for life. An encouraging word makes strangers the best of friends.
And looking back on my life, on what has happened - on all the pain and rejection, the betrayal and bitter tears - I realize I wouldn't change a thing. Because if something changed, I might never have known you. I might never have the family I have in you. Our friendships run deeper than the depths of the sea, higher than the mountaintops. We've laughed together, we've cried together, and through it all, we've learned together. I'll miss that. I'll miss the memories, the friendships...the comfort. I love you. I love all of you. You listened when no one else heard. You cared when I gave up screaming and desperately whispered for help. And when I cried, you understood, you embraced me, and you loved me.
I'll miss that. I'll miss you. I don't want to lose your friendship. I never want to leave this comforting haven we've made for ourselves. This place we've come to call home. Leaving...yeah, we're all leaving. Just when I started to open up. Just when I started to know you. Just when you started to know me. I'll miss you...I love you...I love all of you.