"I've got some very important news…CANNONBALLLL!" Ron Burgandy's voice yelled from the TV as Glomb and Ryan laughed.
"Oh my god…my face hurts so bad!" Ryan's trademark chuckle flooded the room as he leaned into Glomb, trying to suppress his laughter.
"Fuck, I know! I'm grabbing a beer, you want one?" Glomb's smile was molded onto his face.
"Bring me pickles! I have a craving for pickles."
"Sure babe, anything you-"
"Make sure they're Dill pickles…those bread and butter ones make me sick."
Another standard night in the Glomb/Dunn household. They usually took a night or two out of their busy schedules to watch a movie together.
"Stop that. You know I don't speak Spanish!" Ron Burgundy's voice drifted into the kitchen, along with Ryan's giggles.
Tim smiled to himself as he grabbed 2 beers and an economy sized jar of pickles from inside the fridge. The two men had what most call a 'perfect marriage'. They rarely fought and when they did it was because Ryan touched Tim's tools, un-metaphorically of course, or Glomb was being a little over protective of Ryan. Glomb lugged the vat of pickles into the living room and put them in Ryan's outstretched hands. Ryan expertly twisted off the lid and set it aside.
"Oooh! I love the pre-sliced pickles!" Ryan squealed a bit as he started crunching away.
"You know dear, eating so many pickles can't be good for you. You've been eating them by the case lately."
"I know. I can't help it though." A bit of vinegar rolled down Ryan's chin and Tim wiped it off with his thumb.
"If I didn't know better I'd say you were pregnant or some shit." The guys shared a laugh and snuggled back together to watch the rest of the movie.
The movie ended all too soon, and the guys went to their bedroom to sleep. They both shed everything but their boxers and slid under the covers.
"G'night." Glomb mumbled, kissing Ryan's neck and holding him.
"Night babe." Ryan responded.
2:47. Ryan's eyes stared at the alarm clock. He hadn't been able to sleep at all. He kept thinking about what Tim said about him and his beloved pickles. Could he really be pregnant? The guys were always VERY careful; they were at a point in their lives where having a child just didn't make sense. They never really wanted children anyways, each for separate reasons. Glomb didn't want children because he was scared that they would have a girl. Glomb always said that there was a lot more stress raising a girl than a boy and to a degree; Ryan agreed that he had a valid point. Ryan didn't want children because he was scared that he wouldn't make a good father. Tim always tried to put that thought out of Ry's head, but Ryan stuck with it. He didn't know the first thing about kids.
"Tomorrow." Ryan mumbled to himself. Tomorrow he'd go to the doctor and see what they had to say. 3:25. He finally drifted off to sleep.
"Ry? Ry? Wake up honey." Glomb was whispering into Ryan's ear and gently shaking him awake.
"Flurgmbm!" Ryan mumbled, sitting up with a start, blinking against the bight glare of the sun that was shining through the window.
"Morning, angel." Glomb tilted Ryan's head and kissed him.
"Mrnm." Ryan mumbled and smiled sleepily.
"I wanted to say bye before I left for work."
"Bye baby, have fun. I'm going back to bed for a bit." Ryan muttered.
"Have a good day, and don't forget that I'm taking you out to supper tonight. Look sharp sweetie."
"Mhm." Ryan drifted off to sleep again.
He awoke again at noon and managed to drag himself out of bed. He remembered what he was doing today, and rubbing his stomach to stop the butterflies. He quickly hopped in the shower and scrubbed himself clean, got dressed hastily and then hurried outside to the car. He drove for about ten minutes before pulling into the parking lot of his Doctor's office. He straightened himself up a bit and went inside.
"Mister Dunn! What have we broken today?" His doctor, who insisted on calling him Mister Dunn despite the numerous times he'd begged to be called Ryan, smiled and shook his hand.
"Nothing today, Doc. I was just wondering if I could have a quick word in your office." Ryan looked around, nervously, at the few people sitting in the waiting room.
"Of course! Come on in."
They stepped into the elaborate office and the Doctor offered him a seat and a small bowl of toffee's he had on his desk.
"No thanks." Ryan politely turned the candy down.
"So, what's on your mind Ryan? How's that husband of yours?" Ryan beamed with pride. He was so happy he could officially call Glomb his husband.
"He's great, still working his ass off though." The doctor smiled broadly as Ryan continued. "Um, listen, I was kind of hoping to get a test done." Ryan raised his eyebrows in hopes the man would understand him.
"What kind of test, son?"
Damn. So much for that one.
"Well, I don't think I can help you there Mister Dunn."
"A pregnancy test." Ryan spoke, barely audible.
"Weeeeeell then! Sure, we can do that Mister Dunn. You kids nowadays never get the concept of the condom talk, do you?" Doctor Jakob smiled wide and winked while Ryan smiled and blushed. He had been Ryan's doctor since Ry first moved to West Chester and had gone through many talks with the boy, including the infamous condom speech.
The Doctor led him into a small bathroom and gave him a device that twisted Ryan's face in confusion. Doctor Jakob smiled at him, gave him instructions, patted him on the shoulder and walked out of the room. Ryan stared at this little plastic apparatus and took a deep breath. Whatever this little stick said, would change his life forever.
A few moments later he was back in the doctor's Office, fidgeting and looking nervously at all the certificates, diplomas and photos that were scattered across the walls. He absentmindedly picked up a pen and pad of paper off of the desk and started doodling, a habit he had when he was bored or nervous. He had just finished a quick sketch of the SoBe Lizard when he heard the door open.
"Well Mister Dunn, we have your results in. You have Twenty-Four hours to live…starting now." The Doctor smiled and Ry laughed anxiously.
"What's the verdict, Doc?" Doctor Jakob handed him a file folder with a paper stapled to it. Ryan scanned it over and sighed.
"You've got a live one in there, boy. Congratulations." The Doctor beamed with pride for Ryan.
"Thank you, thanks a lot." Ryan smiled sadly as he handed back the file and made his exit.
The whole way home, Ryan battled tears. What was Tim going to say? And worse, what would Tim do? Ryan prayed he wouldn't leave him. He pulled into their driveway and shut off the car. He ran up into the bedroom he and his companion shared, flopped onto the bed and cried. He cried loudly for hours, oblivious to any noises around him and the next thing he knew, Glomb was sitting on the bed beside him with a worried look on his face. Glomb rubbed Ryan's back, shushing him quietly.
"Shhhhh, Ryan, sweetheart what's the matter?"
"I-I-I-" Ryan hiccupped and couldn't get the words out. Instead, he burst into another crying fit. Glomb let him cry, but he did lift Ry's body from the bed and wrap his arms around the sobbing man.
"Baby, please. It's ok honey. Just tell me what's wrong." Glomb's voice quivered a little.
"I went…out today."
"I…oh god Tim, I don't know how to say it."
"Just say it then baby. It'll make it a hell of a lot easier."
"I'm…well…I'm sort of…" Ryan trailed off.
"Pregnant." Ryan started to sob again as he leaned into his lover's shoulder.
Tim's eyes grew wide as he stared at the top of Ryan's head. Did he hear him right? Was his husband…pregnant?
"Honey, can you say that again?"
"I'm pregnant." Ryan whispered, looking into Tim's eyes.
"That's what I thought you said. So, we're having a baby?"
"If you want it, yes." Ryan kept staring into his eyes.
"Of course I do, sweetie!" Tim smiled and pulled Ryan in close to him, kissing him passionately.
"So…I'm having a baby." Ryan smiled.
"We, Ryan. I too helped god damnit." Glomb smiled, his eyes filling with tears.
"Well, I guess you KIND OF helped…" Ry smirked.
Tim smiled as a simple tear rolled down his cheek. He gently pushed his partner onto the bed, kissing him. Supper was just going to have to wait.
The next morning, Ryan woke up snuggled into Glomb with an arm wrapped protectively around him and his hand pressed tightly to Ryan's stomach. Ryan firmly pressed his hips back into Glomb's crotch, causing him to jolt in surprise.
"WHA! God babe, you scared me." Glomb smirked and started gently grinding himself into his husband. "How's it goin' dad?"
Ryan froze. Dad. He kind of liked that.
"Not bad, but can we hold off on the dad shit for a while? I just want to be Ryan until the little one comes around." Ryan smiled to himself. "And would you stop rubbing yourself on me? Jeez, be decent for two minutes, will you?"
Tim grinned and slid his hand down the front of Ryan's pants, making him writhe.
"Tim, babe, not now…fuck." Ry begged.
"And just why the hell not?"
"We've got a big day."
"It's Saturday. This is OUR day. Can't we just spend it…oh, I dunno…in bed?" Tim waggled his eyebrows and Ryan laughed.
"We've got to tell the guys."
"Tell them what?"
"Do we have to? How about we just surprise them."
"We're telling them. We're telling them today."
"Fine." Glomb sighed, removed his hand from Ry's pants and went to hop in the shower.
"Man, I have that boy whipped." Ryan smiled to himself as he got up to get dressed.
"I HEARD THAT!"
"Oops." Ryan blushed a little as he scrounged around for some clean clothes. He made a mental note to do laundry when they got home.
Ry picked up the phone off of the nightstand and punched in Bam's cell number; there was never any point in phoning the house.
"Hey Bam, it's Ryan."
"Listen, is everyone there?"
"Sort of. DiCo'll be here in like, five minutes, Raab's sleeping and Phil should be home from work in an hour."
"Cool. Glomb and I are stopping by, we have some news. See you later."
"See ya." Bam, perplexed, hung up his phone.
"HURRY UP BABE! WE'VE GOT TO GET GOING!" Ryan shouted.
"OK!" Glomb yelled right in Ryan's ear.
"FUCK! How did you get there? I didn't even hear you." Ryan said as Tim wrapped his arms around Ry's waist.
"I'm just very quiet, that's all. Maybe your hearing's shot."
"You? Quiet? Oh that's a good one." Ry smirked and kissed Tim. "Now hurry up and put clothes on."
"Aw, do I have to?"
"Where's your sense of adventure?"
"I'm going, I'm going." Glomb patted Ryan on the ass and went to put some clothes on.
Ryan skipped down the stairs to the living room and started looking for his car keys. He managed to find them under the couch, along with a few beer bottle caps and the remote control for the TV. He held it up and beamed. He had missed the thing.
"Alright, lets go then." Glomb held his hand out to Ryan and they walked out to the car together.
The ride over to Bam's was silent, apart from the radio. The guys shared an odd passion for country music, and they listened to it whenever they could. They pulled into Bam's driveway and Ryan shut off the car.
"Yeah, I guess so."
The guys walked into the house and everyone went down to the pirate bar for a drink.
"I'll just have a beer." Glomb gave Raab, who had just woken up, his order.
"I'm good for now." Ryan looked over at Glomb, who gave him an encouraging smile.
"So what's this big news, Ry?" Bam got right to the point.
"Well, we sort of have some news-"
"We know THAT! Get on with it!" DiCo interrupted.
"As I was saying, we have some news and we just don't want you guys to over react."
Everyone looked back and forth at each other, nervously. Glomb reached out and held Ryan's hand in his own.
"You-you're not…moving away, are you?" Novak's eyes got wide and scared as he stood up off of his stool.
"No, we're not moving at this time, maybe in the future, but we'd never go far." Glomb comforted Novak, who had grown increasingly attached to the couple.
"Good." Novak smiled like a little kid and sat back down, leaning onto the counter.
"Honey, just tell us, it's ok." April rubbed Ryan's shoulder in reassurance. Ry looked over at Glomb, who nodded. Ry took a deep breath.
"We're having a baby." Ryan looked sheepishly at Bam who's jaw was somewhere around his ankles.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" April screeched, hugging Ryan and crying.
"Ape…Ape…APE! I can't BREATHE!" Ryan choked out while Glomb giggled at him.
"You mean, like…a real kid?" Raab said, smiling.
"Yeah." Glomb beamed as Raab ran into his arms, hugging him for all it was worth.
Ryan looked up at Bam who had tears in his eyes. Ry stood up and ran over to his lifelong friend, threw his arms around his neck and pulled him close.
"Congratulations Ryan." Bam whispered tearfully into the soon-to-be father's ear.
"I love you Bam-Bam."
"Don't call me that." Bam smiled and let go of Ryan, only to have him replaced by Glomb. "I'm happy for you guys, man."
"Thanks Bam. Means a lot to us." Glomb grinned sincerely at Bam.
Glomb released Bam and went over to April, where he picked her up and swung her around in the air.
"Now Ape, if you don't spoil this kid like crazy, I'm blowing up your car." Tim joked as a tear fell silently and unnoticed down his cheek.
"I promise Tim." April said before running to the door as Phil wobbled in, screaming the news at him.
The next thing everyone knew, they were all in one massive hug, Ryan's tears were falling steadily, Novak's eyes were bright and April was already planning on how to decorate the babies' room. DiCo was in a state of shock and Phil was eyeing the fridge, carefully plotting how to get out of the hug. Raab had wiggled his way between Brandon and Ryan, his arms wrapped around them as best he could. Bam's eyes spilled over, carefully, as he proposed that they all go out for supper to celebrate. Phil seconded the motion and then they were off.
Ryan and Tim suggested a new restaurant called Montana's. No one else had been to the place, so the couple decided that they would hook them into going before they realized what kind a place it was. They all walked through the heavy doors, and Ryan felt Bam poke him.
"Dude, there's dead animals on the walls."
"I know, pretty, huh?" Ry and Tim shared a smile. Glomb looked up and waved to the Caribou head that was greeting them.
"Well this is…not…normal." DiCo looked like he was about to turn around and run away.
"Guys, the food here is awesome, trust us." Glomb managed to take everyone's nerves down a notch as they were seated. They all ordered drinks and food and at around talking. Well, most of them were talking; Bam and DiCo were still looking around at all of the trophy heads and antlers on the walls.
"So, what are you going to name it?" Novak asked Ryan. He had insisted on sitting right between the couple.
"Dude, we don't even know what it IS yet."
"You should name it after one of us." Phil joked, taking a sip of his beer.
"Yeah, good ol' Phil Junior." Glomb laughed.
"Dude, that goat is staring at me." Bam nudged Ryan.
"Well of course he is Bam. They just killed him so you could have some FRESH ribs. He's just pissed off at you now." Ry watched Bam's face turn a pale shade of green.
At long last, everyone's food came and they all dug in. Tim kept looking over at his husband. He couldn't believe the good fortune that had some their way.
6 Months Later
"Tiiiiiiim!" Ryan called from the bedroom.
"I'M IN THE KITCHEN!" Glomb had just poured himself a cup of steaming hot coffee.
"CAN YOU BRING SOME ICE CREAM UP HERE?"
Glomb looked at the thermometer that was hung outside the window. 42 Degrees Fahrenheit, and he wanted ICE CREAM?
Glomb loaded up his arms with a tub of ice cream, a spoon and his coffee as he made his way up the stairs. He smiled at the sight of Ryan. Ry was leaning up against the headboard, his enlarged stomach covered up by a blanket. He was watching old Dukes of Hazard reruns and laughing to himself. Glomb handed him his order as he sat down on the other side of the bed.
"You know babe, you sort of have that 'Boss Hogg' look right now. We should get you a white suit!" Glomb smirked as Ryan slapped him playfully.
"I just wish this little bastard would get the HELL out of me. I'm sick of wearing sweat pants and waddling everywhere. GET OUT GOD DAMNIT!" Ryan screeched at his stomach. Glomb laughed and pulled Ry onto his shoulder.
"Only a month longer babe. One more month and then it'll be out of that gut of yours and then I can FINALLY-"
"Don't even say it." Ryan raised his eyebrow, staring at Tim.
"What I know you're going to say."
"So, have you thought of any new names, babe?" Glomb changed the subject.
"Sure have." Ryan handed him a list from his bedside table.
"Girls names." Glomb read aloud. "Dakota. That's it?"
"I have a feeling it's a boy, so I didn't bother too much." Ryan smiled. Glomb kissed Ry's nose and handed back his paper.
"We'll think of something, I guess." Tim gave Ryan another kiss, grabbed his coffee and left the room. He was about to go downstairs, but instead he went around the corner, into the babies' new room.
Tim stared up at the pale blue ceiling with the white puffy clouds that Ape had painted. The crib was all set up in the far corner; the changing table and bureau were in the opposite corner. He leaned against the door and a sad, proud smile crossed his face. He was going to be a father in only one short month. Tim never really saw himself as a dad, but he knew it would all work out; as long as his kid didn't hang around Bam too much, of course. Tim felt an arm wrap around his waist.
"I can't believe that we're actually having a kid." Ryan whispered.
"Yeah, no kidding." Glomb kissed Ry and gave him a hug. "You'd better get ready…that baby shower's today."
"Ooh, presents!" Ryan's eyes lit up as he shuffled his way back into the bedroom to change.
"They're for the baby, not you Dumbass!" Glomb shook his head as he walked into the living room to tidy up.
Not 10 minutes after he had started cleaning the doorbell rang.
"I'LL GET IT!" Ryan toddled down the stairs, holding his stomach with one hand and the banister with the other. Ryan opened the door to reveal Bam, Ape and Phil standing on the stoop.
"Hi sweetie!" April wrapped him up in a huge hug.
"Hey Ape, Phil." Ryan beamed as he hugged his friend. "Hey Bam-Bam."
"What the fuck did I tell you about calling me that?"
"Sorry. I'm just excited." Ryan smiled as Bam shoved an obtrusively large, heavy box into his arms.
"No problem. Where's Glomb?"
"In the living room."
"Heyyyyy Ape!" Ryan heard Glomb call out. The doorbell rang again.
"Hey DiCo!" Ryan wrapped him up in a hug.
"Hey Ryan. Raab, Rake and Novak'll be here in a few minutes. Rake's car just had a flat." The words had barely left Bran's mouth when the car pulled into the driveway.
"RYYYYYYYYYYY!" Raab screamed at him from the car.
Eventually, everyone crammed themselves into the living room where they had a few drinks and Ryan opened 'his' presents. It was mostly the normal, average stuff. Phil and Ape got them some clothes and a baby swing along with a jolly jumper.
"Fuck, I love those things!" DiCo said, staring at it as everyone laughed.
The next present was a combined gift from all of the guys minus Bam, and they said it was in the garage because they couldn't carry it inside. Ryan hauled his ass up off of the couch and followed everyone to the basement. When Ry opened it his jaw dropped to the floor. It was a dresser, which they already had, but they guys had painted the entire thing a pale blue that matched the room perfectly. The handles were directly in the center of the drawers and simply said fuCKYou. Glomb didn't seem to appreciate the wording, but Ryan was awestruck.
"Oh my god, guys! This is amazing! How did you guys do this?"
"Hours and hours of painting and manual labor, sweetheart. And look, it's one of those...double gifts. Now you can teach it to read at the same time!" Novak smiled and enveloped Ryan into a hug.
"I can't believe this. It's so awesome! Thanks guys!" Ryan hugged the other two guys while Novak leapt into Glomb's arms, squeezing him.
"Yeah, yeah, it's great, now go open mine!" Bam bounced up in the air a little, walking briskly to the door.
Everyone walked back to the living room smiling, wondering what Bam had cooked up this time. Bam sat Ryan and Glomb on the couch as he re-handed Ryan the large box. Ryan peeled back the wrapping paper and his eyes started to well up.
There were about 10 large picture frames stacked on top of each other. The first frame held a picture of Ryan and Glomb standing at the altar, the sunset behind them.
"Oh Bam…" Ry trailed off, speechless.
Glomb took off the first frame to look at it. The next one was a group picture of everyone at the wedding. Everyone was standing around on the beach, the wind was blowing everyone's hair around (especially Rake's) and they were all smiling. Ryan stared at the picture and sighed.
"This is awesome Bam-Bam, thanks so much." He got up to hug his friend.
"No problem." Bam didn't even acknowledge the use of his nickname.
They all sat around until the wee hours of the morning, drinking, eating and talking about the new baby that would soon be gracing them all with their presence. They had all taken a tour of the babies' room, April complimenting Glomb the entire time. At long last, it was time for everyone to go home. A round of hugs, thank you's and see you soon's were passed around and everyone parted ways.
Ryan looked awfully tired, so Tim suggested that he go to bed.
"Aren't you coming?" Ry kissed Glomb's nose.
"Be there in a few minutes, I promise."
"Ok." Ryan toddled up the stairs once more.
Glomb went back to the pictures Bam had given them and stared at them, lovingly. He flipped to the third photo, which was a picture of Ryan giving the camera a 'what is he doing?' look while Ville's ear was pressed firmly to his stomach. He couldn't believe how skinny Ryan was when he was only 3 months along. The fourth picture was another one from the wedding. They were both sitting at the head of their table, legs spread open, holding hands and drinking beer. Glomb laughed at how ridiculous they looked. The fifth, sixth and seventh photos were of Glomb and Ryan in various stages of Ry's pregnancy. In each picture, Glomb was hugging Ryan's shoulders and staring at his growing belly, lovingly.
"Tim?" Ryan called from upstairs.
"Just a minute!" Glomb called back.
He flipped to the last three photos and smiled. The eighth one was a picture of Ryan and Bam, their arms were wrapped around each other's neck and they were smiling like mad. A lot of people asked him if he ever got jealous of Bam and Ryan's friendship. He always said no, because he knew Bam and Bam respected Glomb and Ryan's relationship, and in turn, Glomb respected Bam and Ryan's. The ninth photo was a picture of the sky. No people, just the sky. It took Glomb a minute to realize it was taken from the top of Bam's roof. Glomb wondered how many nights he and Ryan had snuck onto that roof, just to lay in each other's arms.
"Damnit Tim! Hurry up!" Ryan's impatient voice drifted into the room.
The tenth picture was the entire crew just lounging around Bam's pool. Everyone was happy, smiling and laughing. Glomb smiled to himself, set the picture down with the rest and started up the stairs to get some sleep, vowing to hang up the pictures first thing tomorrow.
He got into bed with his lover and wrapped his arm around his waist as best he could.
"Kkkkkkkkknnnnnnnnn." Ryan's trademark snore shook the walls of the bedroom. Tim smiled to himself and drifted off to sleep.
Glomb awoke to Ryan shaking him, yelling at him to get up.
"WHAT!" Tim snapped, irritated.
"Hospital…NOW!" Ryan shrieked, clutching his stomach.
Glomb snapped to attention. Ryan started waddling down the stairs as Tim threw on a pair of shoes, thankful that he had fallen asleep in his clothes. Ryan had grabbed the car keys off of the kitchen table and handed them to Tim, screaming and trying to breathe at the same time. Tim grabbed his cell phone and ushered Ry into the car. They immediately sped for the hospital. Glomb phoned Bam's cell phone, praying he'd answer.
"It's 5 in the mother fucking morning, who the fucking hell is this?" Bam's sleep filled voice muttered.
"Bam! It's Tim, we're going to the hospital right now, can you call everyone?"
"What? Now?" Bam sat up in his bed, fully awake. "I'm on my way, I'll call them. Good luck guys!"
"Thanks." Glomb smiled nervously, ending the call. He reached over and held Ryan's hand. "Just breathe babe, we're almost there…almost there!"
"If this little fucking piece of shit doesn't get out RIGHT NOW I'm KILLING MYSELF!" Ryan's eyes shut tightly as a contraction surged through his body.
"I know baby, hold on, two more minutes, breathe sweetheart, breathe."
"YOU BREATHE GOD DAMNIT!" Ry snapped at him.
They pulled into the hospital parking lot and Glomb leapt out to the other side to help Ryan out of the car. They walked slowly into the emergency room and Glomb started talking to the nurse. The nurse attempted to calm him down, but Glomb was speaking too fast.
"Tim! You sound like VITO, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!"
"I CAN'T!" Glomb said, clearly flustered.
Ryan quickly explained that he was having the baby, now, and the nurse grabbed a wheel chair. Before they left she handed Tim some paper work.
"I'll be right there baby, I promise!" Glomb called out to Ryan. "Name. Whose name, my name? WHO'S NAME DO I WRITE?!"
At that moment, Bam, Ape and Phil ran into the lobby, smiles plastered on their faces. Bam sprinted over to Glomb, noticing that he was panicking.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT NAME THEY MEAN!" Glomb's eyes were brimming with tears.
"Calm down dude, calm down! Give me that, I'll fill it out, you go in there, and just calm down."
"I love you Bam!" Glomb shouted to him, running down the hallway.
The nurses suited him up in scrubs and sent him in the room where Ryan was lying on his back, decked out in the plasticy hospital gown.
"Tim." Ryan whined for him.
"I'm right here babe, it's ok, it's ok. Bam, Ape and Phil are out there too, they say good luck."
"I love you." Ryan was sweating profusely now, nervous and a little scared.
"I love you to, it'll be fine." Glomb smiled encouragingly and gripped Ry's hand.
The next fifteen minutes flew by, with all the doctors and nurses running around. At long last, it was time for Ryan to push; the screams must have been heard at the other wing of the hospital. Finally, the wail of a newborn baby echoed in the room. Tears filled the proud parents' eyes as the doctor held it up.
"Congratulations Daddies! It's a boy!" The doctor smiled and went to clean the baby off before handing him over.
"Oh my god! Ry!" Glomb's eyes spilled over as he kissed his husband repeatedly.
"Jesus Christ…no more…kids." Ryan was crying as well, but his smile hid every last one of his tears.
A nurse brought their new baby over and laid him gently in Ryan's arms. He had all 10 fingers, all 10 toes and he was the smallest thing the men had ever seen. The tears of joy streamed consistently from they're eyes as they marveled over the new person that they had created.
"He's so beautiful." Glomb choked out, stroking the infant's tiny head. "And he even has your nose, look at that."
Ryan giggled and clutched his baby closer.
"Mister Glomb, if you'd like to go share the news with your family, we're going to move Mister Dunn into his own room, alright?"
"Sure." Glomb obliged. "I'll see you in a few minutes babe."
"I love you." Ry smiled, not taking his eyes off of the child. Glomb wasn't sure if Ry had said that to the baby or to him, but it didn't matter.
Glomb walked into the lobby to find April pacing back and forth, biting her nails with Phil trying to calm her down. Bam was lying down on a bench, sleeping, with his head in Novak's lap. Brandon and Chris were sharing a newspaper and Rake seemed to be deeply engrossed in a conversation with an 8-year-old girl beside him who had her arm in a cast.
"Tim! Oh honey, did he have the baby? What is it? Is it healthy? What's its name?" April was bouncing towards Glomb, tears falling from her eyes too.
"It's a boy. And he's perfect." Glomb hugged April tightly as everyone else surrounded the man, enveloping him in hugs.
"Dude, can we see them?" Raab asked and Tim nodded.
"They're just transferring Ry into his own room. Thanks so much for being here guys, we-" Tim's voice caught in his throat as April wrapped her arms around him again.
"This is like having a second grandchild." April smiled at Phil who wrapped an arm around his wife's waist.
"Mister Glomb? You can see him now. Try to keep the noise level down though, hm?" The doctor shook Tim's hand and smiled, raising an eyebrow at Bam.
"I'll be good." Bam put on his best 'I'm adorable, look at me' face and everyone laughed.
Glomb led the way into the room. Ryan looked up at everyone and smiled. They all crowded around the bed, awing and smiling tearfully.
"Look at him, he's fucking awesome!" DiCo said in a hushed voice.
"He's so fucking tiny!" Raab smile took up the entire bottom half of his face.
"Guys, do you have to teach it such awful language already? Give him a year or so." Phil scolded light-heartedly.
"Oh Ryan!" April bent down to give him a kiss. "This really is my second grandchild."
"I love ya, Ape." Ry smirked, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Here, you can hold him."
April expertly took the baby out or Ry's arms, cradling him softly.
"So, what's his name?" Rake inquired.
"Uh…" Ryan started.
"Well…" Tim looked at Ryan.
"We don't know." The guys said at the same time, shrugging while everyone burst into a fit of laughter.
April passed the baby off to Phil who grinned at the latest addition to the crew. Phil then handed the baby to Raab who sat on the edge of the bed, clutching the little child in his arms. Glomb went around to the other side of the bed and held Ryan's hand. DiCo was holding the baby now, making little faces at him.
"Benjamin." Glomb bent down to whisper into Ryan's ear. A wide grin settled onto his face.
"Benjamin's perfect." Ryan kissed Tim deeply.
DiCo handed the baby to Rake and Rake just began to snicker.
"Dude, this kid is awesome." Rake smiled and everyone laughed.
"His name's Benjamin." Ryan beamed as his son was put securely back into his arms.
"That's a beautiful name sweethearts." Novak smirked at the couple.
Everyone gave the new parents a hug and left the room, everyone except for Bam.
"I'm really happy for you guys." Bam smiled at them.
A nurse came in to bring the baby to the nursery and Glomb took that as his cue to leave the men alone.
"I'm going to grab some stuff from home. I'll be back soon babe."
"Stay home, get some rest. I'll be ok. Bam's here." Ryan smiled at him. Glomb gave Ryan a quick kiss.
"Sweet dreams babe. Bam, don't let him stay up too late…or early…you know what I mean."
"I'll do my best."
Glomb and the nurse had both left the room and Bam was alone with Ryan.
"Are you ok Bam? You look upset."
"Can we talk?"
"That's why I'm here." Ryan joked as Bam sat down in a chair beside the bed.
"Ryan…man, never mind."
"Hey, you can talk to me, it's ok." Ryan's face creased with worry and concern.
"It's fine, we can talk later." Bam stood up about to make an exit.
"Bam! I mean it! Come here." Ry sat up in the bed and patted the mattress beside him. Bam sat down carefully.
"Ryan…I'm scared." Bam hung his head and Ry wrapped his arms around him.
"What are you scared of, Bam?"
"Bam-Bam, PLEASE tell me."
A lone tear streamed down Bam's cheek as he buried his head onto Ryan's shoulder. Ry hugged and shushed him gently.
"I'm scared that…I'm…I'm scared that…I'm scared that I might…"
"Just say it dude, it'll be easier."
"Now that you and Glomb are fathers you're gonna have to move into a bigger house far away and I'm never gonna see you guys anymore and-" Bam started sobbing, loudly.
"Bam! Slow down! Glomb and I aren't moving anywhere any time soon! The house we have now is fine, I will never leave you if I can help it Bam-Bam. You're the best friend I've got." Ryan smiled sadly at his friend
"You promise me you won't move away Ry?"
"I promise that if we move, we'll stay close, ok?"
"Ok." Bam smiled a satisfied smile.
3 Years Later
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Benjamin screamed from his bedroom.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Ryan mocked him.
"I need HELP!"
"Help with what?" Ryan bounced down the stairs to see what his son was up to.
"My present for Uncle Bam isn't going good." Ben looked at his father with wide puppy-dog eyes.
"Well what are you making Uncle Bam?"
"Oh, very cool. He'll like that a lot." Ryan smiled, remembering the million pictures that plastered 'Uncle Bam's' bedroom walls.
"It's a picture of Captain but it looks more like Uncle Rake." Benjamin's brow furrowed and he stuck his tongue out of the side of his mouth, concentrating. Ryan laughed to himself, trying to suppress a smile.
"I don't think it look like Rake. It looks very much like Captain."
"You're just saying that because you have to because you're my dad." Ben glared at Ryan.
"You got me, I'm busted. You want some help?" Ryan sat in a miniature chair and pulled his son into his lap.
"Can you draw his head for me? I'm good at drawing doggie legs." Ben said, matter-of-factly.
"Sure buddy." Ryan attempted to draw the boxer's head, but it looked worse than Ben's.
"Daddy, that looks more like Grampa Phil."
A burst of laughter came from the door and Benjamin leapt out of Ryan's lap.
"Hey big guy!" Glomb picked him up and gave him a kiss on the top of his head. "What are you up to now?"
"I'm drawing a present for Uncle Bam and I can't draw good, but daddy draws worser."
"It's worse, not worser, and I'm sure your dad is just not good at drawing, that's all."
"Oh, well can you do it then?" Ben held his brown crayon out to Glomb.
"I'd love to, but only if your dad is going to start making supper."
"Well what do you guys want?"
"HAMBURGERS!" Glomb said, a little too enthusiastically.
"HOT DOGS!" Ben screamed. Hot dogs were his favorite.
"Barbeque it is!" Ryan went upstairs to grab some meat out of the freezer and heat up the grill.
"How's that big guy?" Glomb held up his picture of the dog. Benjamin sighed.
"I'll do it on my own self, thanks anyways daddy." Ben went back to doing his own drawing. Tim gave him another kiss and went upstairs to help Ryan.
"He didn't like mine either." Glomb pouted.
"Aw, poor baby." Ryan put the frozen beef onto the counter and pulled his husband in close for an intense lip lock.
"For fucks sake guys, get a room." Bam's voice came trailing into the kitchen.
"BAM-BAM!" Ryan wrapped his arms around his friend.
"Stop calling me that. Where's Ben? I brought him something." Bam held up his new skate deck.
"Your little worshiper? He's downstairs, but my god, he's going to break his neck on that thing." Ryan said, worriedly as the two other men laughed.
"UNCLE BAM! Look what I did! It's for you!" Ben ran up the stairs right on cue as he held up his picture of Captain to show Bam.
"Wow! A picture of Captain! Really cool buddy, thanks!" Bam held up his hand and Benjamin high-fived it. "I got this for you! It's my brand new deck, so now you can be a skater too."
"WOW! Cool Uncle Bam!" Ben ran downstairs, into his room, to play with his new board.
"How the hell did you know that was Captain?" Glomb asked.
"Because he wrote 'Kaptin' right underneath it." Bam pointed it out. "He's a smart one guys."
"You staying for supper?" Ryan asked, beaming with pride.
"Nah, can't. Just wanted to stop by and give you guys a hug and give Benny his new toy. Teach him well Glomb." Bam gave them both a hug, then waving goodbye, made his exit.
"I'll throw these on the grill, you go make sure he doesn't hurt himself on that damn thing."
"Yes dear." Glomb kissed Ryan and ran upstairs, eager to teach his offspring everything he knew.
Ryan slapped the meat on the barbeque and smiled to himself. He looked at the clock that was visible from the window. 6:24, there was just enough time for supper, baths and a little quiet time with Glomb. He flipped the burgers and hot dogs over carefully, knowing the other men hated theirs burnt. He heard the Glomb turn on the kitchen radio, and smiled to himself when he heard the song.
He could still feel the way he
Standing in tears
Stretching his arms out
As far as they'd go
I want you to know
I love you this much
And I'm waiting on you
To make up your mind
Do you love me too?
However long it takes
I'm never giving up no matter what
I love you this much.
"That food ready yet? Christ Ry!" Glomb joked, bring the condiments and plates outside onto the deck.
"Pretty much sweetie." Ry turned back to the barbeque. Glomb wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist and sung into his ear.
"However long it takes
I'm never giving up no matter what
I love you this much."