It had never made sense to Bam, but it had always made him debate his thoughts and life. Bam had everything every 20 something year old guy wants, a beautiful girlfriend, an enormous house, fame, money, gorgeous expensive cars and his mother to cook and clean for him. He had great friends, wonderful support from his family, well most of his family, and a job that didn't require any work. A lot of people thought his life was perfect. Very few knew it wasn't.
Bam was lying on the bed in his hotel room. The HIM concert would start in a couple hours, but for now, Bam wanted some quality time to himself. It was hard to come by nowadays. He was either filming Viva La Bam episodes, hanging out with the guys, spending time with Jenn or making his parent's lives a living hell. The only time he had to himself was when he randomly took a plane somewhere just to get away from it all. He had just turned on his iPod and was about to doze off to the sound of 'Escape From Hellview' when there was a loud knock at the door.
"Fuuuuuck!" Bam uttered to his ceiling. He tried to roll himself over to stand up, but instead rolled right off the bed and landed on the floor with a thud.
"Bam? You alright?" Ville Valo's voice wafted into the room. Bam stood up straight, his eyes went wide and he sprinted the entire 4 feet to his bathroom mirror. He started rubbing his hair back, trying to look semi-presentable.
"Yeah, everything's cool. I fell out of my bed, happens all the time!" He shouted to Ville, laughing nervously. Bam unlocked the door and swung it open. His heart melted when he saw Ville standing there. Ville was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of black jeans, but the simplest things looked the best on his small frame. Very few people knew about his feeling for Ville, and by saying very few people, he meant Dunn, and that's only because Ryan had been his best friend for more years than he could remember. Ville stepped calmly into the room and gave Bam a once over.
"You look like hell." Ville said, smirking. Bam flushed a deep crimson and looked into Ville's eyes.
"Yeah, well…" He said, stupidly. "What's up? Don't you have a show tonight?"
"Yeah, but I heard you were in town so I had to come visit." Ville smiled and flopped down on Bam's bed. "So what were you going to do after the show? I mean, you ARE coming, right?"
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world." Bam's lips quivered into a smile.
"You seem off today, Margera. What's going on?" Ville questioned, staring into the skater's eyes.
"Just stressed out, I guess." Bam lied. "I've got a lot of shit on my mind."
"Poor guy. What happened, Vito finally run out of cars?" Ville smirked as Bam gave him a light punch in the shoulder.
"As long as I'm around, Don Vito will NEVER run out of cars."
"Then what is it?"
"Just stressed, lonely, bored, the usual." Bam smiled sorrowfully at Ville.
"Lonely? Are you psycho? You have Dunn, DiCo, Raab, Rake, Novak and Ape and Phil, not to mention 40 million other friends to hang around with, how the hell are you lonely?" Ville said, smiling.
"You forgot Jenn." Bam replied.
"Oh for fucks sake Bam! How are you lonely, please, enlighten me."
"Well, for starters, Random's always hanging out with Angie, DiCo and Raab are always going to the most fucked up bars and shit, Rake's always working, Novak's always fucking, Ape and Phil aren't exactly people I want to hang out with all day and Jenn is visiting people in some other state."
"I love being a last resort." Ville smiled. "You ok though? Honestly, Bam."
Bam shrugged and sighed. No matter what, no one could understand what he was feeling. He had always had his buddies there to hang out with and now they were all splitting up and going their separate ways, barely seeing each other nowadays. Bam's eyes started to sting and Ville wrapped him up in an unexpected hug.
"Yo, what the fuck?" Bam said into Ville's shoulder.
"It's ok Bam."
"What's ok? You're fucking confusing me."
Ville pulled away and looked into Bam's damp eyes. "Ryan's been worried about you for a while now, says you haven't been the same since him and Angie started spending more time with each other."
"…and…?" Bam questioned.
Ville smiled and held onto Bam's tattooed arms tightly. "Dunn also has a big mouth."
Bam stared at the songster, unsure of what he was talking about. Ville tilted his head to the side watching Bam's reaction. Bam's tears of abandonment turned into fury a of anger, frustration and hurt.
"What the Fuck. What the FUCK are you talking about?!" Bam tried to stand up, but Ville held him down.
"It's fine Bam, really." Ville tried to wrap his arms around the skater, but Bam broke free and pinned himself up against the wall.
"What the fucking FUCK is going on here? What did that fucking asshole tell you?! That I'm a fucking faggot? Is that what he fucking said?!"
Ville stared in shock at Bam. He was losing it, just losing it. "Bam, please calm down."
"FUCK YOU!" Bam shouted and tried to bolt for the door, stumbling over the quilt that had fallen to the floor. He crumpled to the ground and started sniffling. Ville immediately crouched down beside him and wrapped Bam up into his arms, shushing him quietly and rocking him back and forth.
A few minutes later Ville cupped Bam's chin in his hands. Bam's eyes were red and bloodshot, his hair falling over his face. Ville gave him a quick peck on his tear stained cheek and wiped the last of his tears away. "It's alright Bam, you have to realize that. And honestly? I don't blame you, I'm a pretty good looking guy." Ville smirked.
Bam blushed and laughed softly. He looked into the eyes of the man he cared so deeply for. All these years, and the truth was finally out. He leaned into Ville and kissed him deeply.