"Heya," Ren - a fellow Konoha shinobi - said, running up to Naruto's side.
"Hey, Naru, I was just wondering if you were free at the weekend?"
For the last time, he was not gay. Why would people think he was gay? Did he act gay? Did he flirt with guys? Did he look gay?
No. He did not. So why in hell did everyone think he was?
"No, I'm sorry, I can't," he gritted out.
"Oh. Well, y'know, maybe next week?"
"Ren, I'm not gay."
"What, really? But I heard -"
"But everyone's gay here -"
"Oh," Ren said, slightly despondent. "Right, well, see you later!"
This, this right here was getting fucking stupid.
"Heya," a voice called out beside him, and Naruto turned to see Sakura join his side.
"Have you seen Sasuke?"
"Not since yesterday, why?"
"Oh," Sakura looked discouraged. "I just assumed you'd know where he is."
"Well, since you two are… y'know, an item and all."
Naruto glared at her. "We are not an item."
"Oh right, I forgot, you're 'not gay'."
"Aha, you keep believing that."
Groaning to himself, Naruto turned off the path, toward the training grounds, Sakura still at his side. As they headed round the corner, the two were bombarded by another group leaving the area.
"Hi, Sakura, Naruto," Chouji greeted them, and Shikamaru nodded.
"Hey, guys," Ino added. "Yo, Naruto, out of the closet yet?"
"Oh that's alright, there's always time. I'm sure Sasuke'll wait."
"Sasuke doesn't need to wait!"
"Oh, so you are out then?"
"Oh, I gotcha," Ino said, winking at Naruto. "You're 'not' with Sasuke, yeah, I get it." She winked again.
Storming off, Naruto ignored the shouts of 'going to tell Uchiha the good news, eh?', and headed into the forest. He needed to get away from all of this.
First of all, when it was just Kakashi, it was kind of funny. Annoying, yes, but Naruto could always put it down to the sensei's dirty mind. Although now, now it was getting ridiculous. It seemed that the whole village thought he was fucking Sasuke, and vice versa - minus Naruto and Sasuke, of course.
And now it was escalating so high, Naruto was beginning to worry that Sasuke himself would think the blond loved him. Which he most certainly did not.
No, seriously, he didn't. Not in any way, shape, or form.
Colliding with somebody, Naruto stumbled backwards, mumbled an apology, and then heard the voice he'd been dreading to reach.
"Hn, can't you see where you're going, dobe?"
Why, why in all humanity did he have to meet Sasuke?
"You walked into me, teme!"
"Well, considering the fact I was standing still, I think that you bumped into me."
As true as this fact was, Naruto was not about to admit he was wrong.
"Oh, and Naruto, are you gay?"
What kind of stupid - wait. WHAT!? Had Sasuke just asked if he was gay?
Had Sasuke, UCHIHA SASUKE, just questioned his sexuality? And why did he feel all damn fluttery about that?
It was official. He was in hell.
"Oh. I just - alright then."
Well, at least he believed him - but wait. Stop. Did he have to sound so disappointed about it? Why would he sound disappointed? It's not like he likes Naruto or anything.
And what was with this stupid fluttery feeling?
"Why would you think that I'm gay? 'Cause I'm not."
"Well, I'd heard around that you were. And heard that you… liked me."
WHO TOLD HIM THAT!? WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN SHOT AND MAIMED!?
"Well, they lied."
"Yeah, you said."
Okay, that was definitely depressed. Sasuke sounded depressed. Definitely. No question.
"Why? You didn't want me to like you, did you?"
"What? Don't be stupid."
Oh gods, now Naruto was sounded disappointed. Did he have to let Sasuke know he wanted sex? Did he?
What - wait, no. He didn't want sex. Because he wasn't gay!
"Unless, y'know, you wanted me to."
Oh good lord. Sasuke hadn't just said that, had he?
Was that a confession? I believe that was a confession.
"Wait, you mean you want me to like you, if I want to?"
Oh gods, code red, code red, people, butterflies in stomach going into OVERDRIVE -
"Well, I guess that I do want you to like me, if you want me to want you to like me."
"Well, I'm only going to want you to want me to like you if you want me to."
"And I… only… want… oh, bugger it!"
Racing forward, Naruto pressed his lips onto Sasuke's, drawing him into a deep, abundant kiss. Their lips parted, and it was Sasuke who dared to delve deeper, drawing into the caverns of Naruto's mouth.
Naruto was damn sick and tired of it. People just didn't seem to pay any attention to what he said, they listened to gossip and rumours and lies more than the actual truth of the matter.
"Heya," Akira - a Konoha chuunin - said, running up to Naruto's side.
"Hey, Naruto-kun, I was just… well, I was wondering if you… if you were… y'know, free, on Saturday."
For Christ's sake. This was the last bloody time. He was not fucking single! Why couldn't anyone get this through their heads?
"Sorry, I can't, I'm taken," Naruto said. "I'll see you later!"
Heading toward the training fields, Naruto jumped as a pair of arms encircled round him. Turning back, Naruto smirked in realisation to see Sasuke standing there.
"What was Akira asking you?"
"He was asking me out."
"And I said yes."
"I'm kidding. Christ, Sasuke, I'm not some kind of male slut or anything."
"Good. 'Cause you know I'd have to kill him otherwise."
"Aha, I know."
The two moved toward the forest - their latest favourite make-out spot.
"Y'know, Chouji says he's not gay."
"Ha, that's a laugh, you should go talk to him. You can't relate."
"Heh. I love you, too."
A/N: Thought of it whilst hoovering. Why? I have no fucking clue. R&R.