Holy crap people, I'm SO sorry. PLEASE forgive me. I haven't updated in like FOREVER. But you have no idea how much stress I'm under during school right now. We're having achievement tests, and I've been like all over the place. But I fanally sat down and wrote this thing! And thank God it is over! This is the last chapter people. Please excuse any mistakes, for my beta isn't online right now, and I'm not gonna wait for her until tomorrow, cause I'm getting this damn thing posted! lol Thanks for ALL of the reviews, I got a crap load XD
MiseryGates: Oi, "faithful" beta. You weren't here to beta this chapter, but thanks for beta-ing the last one. Even though you were depressed when you were beta-ing it, and made a few mistakes lol. Stupid Dillan, Dillon, whatever. Thanks for the review:)
Tomomoomo: lol your name was quite hard to write. XD Haha, nice idea, thank you so much for helping me out! I seriously appreciated it. You are the kind of people that modivate me to write more! Thanks so much for reviewing:)
Demonsil: Hehe, sorry it took so long. I mean I'm SERIOUSLY sorry. It took like forever for me to update. Yes, yes, Kio is quite the pervert XD lol Thanks so much for reviewing:)
Loolz: Yepperz, he's awake alright. ::crys:: you like, UNDERSTAND me! Holy crap, I hope you're still sticking with me in this story, cause near the end I got major writer's block, plus school was blowing my brains out. And I was like "zomg, this person here, understands!" and it motivated me. So thank you very much. And thanks so much for reviewing:)
XxTypoMasterxX: Oh, typomaster, please don't kill me on this chapter. it probably has sooo many typos cause my beta is lazy lol. Yea, Iwas tired of him being in a coma, so I was like "screw it! It's my story, so I say he wakes up!" lol Sorry it took forever for the update. Thanks so much for reviewing:)
IsuzuForever: ::looks at shotgun for corner of eye:: umm...sorry for taking so long to update ::prays she doesn't get shot:: lol I'm glad you liked the last chapter, hopefully if you're still here, and not given up on me by now, you'll like that last one too. Thanks so much for reviewing:)
jean kitsune: Hahaha! I just love the fangirl mode! It's awesome::goes in fangirl mode:: Likeomgritsukeandsoubiarelikegonnakissandlikehahaha sorry... Thanks so much for the review:)
GaliStar07: Happy Chinese New Year to you too, even though it's long over now lol shows how long it's been since I've updated, huh? Well thank you so much for the review:)
KInasha14: :o Thanks so much for the idea, you really helped me out alot! Thanks so much for reviewing too:)
AlessaLoveless: Yepperz, last chapter. I was a bit sad myself, but also very relieved. It's one more things that I've gotten off of my shoulders. I'm sorry it took me so long to update, school, once again, was killing me lol Thank you so much for the idea, you helped me out alot! And thanks so much for reviewing:)
Momo-chan X3: Yes, I believe I would be evil enough to give a cliffy. and also evil enough to not update in like three months, which I'm terribly sorry about!! lol Thanks so much for reviewing:)
Tsubasa-love: lol nice, I don't want your ideas anyway! lol jokes...thanks so much for reviewing:)
LandUnderWave: lol that made me laugh! XD Omg, I do feel really honered! Thank you for honering me with being your first non one-shot! lol I appreciate it. Thanks so much for reviewing too:)
Sasskitten: Rutou: Hi ::blushes:: Haha, thanks for putting up with my not-writing-for-three-months deal thing lol I'm glad I finally go tot update! Thanks so much for reviewing:)
ahunmaster: Aww well thank you very much. I feel honered that you like my story, and I appreciate it alot. Thanks so much for reviewing, and sorry it took me so long to update:)
IndigoNightandRayneStorm: haha, you have a long name! I hope I didn't mess up on writing it. lol You left me 3!! reviews, that makes me all giddy! lol Sorry it took me so long to update. thanks so much for reviewing:)
Inner Dragon: lol well that's ok. I got plenty of good ideas XD I'm glad you liked it, sorry for taking so long to update!! Thanks so much for reviewing:)
red eyed dragon: lol yea, sorry about the cliffy. I gave Rutou a hug for you, he got so embarrassed! Yes, emos are just the greatest thing there is! XD Sorry it took so long to update! Thanks so much for reviewing:)
anime lover: Thanks for the idea! XD Sorry it took so long for the update! And thank you so much for reviewing!
Whew! Onto the story now:
(I won't...) So follow your bliss, it reads on my chest. (...be saved.)
(I won't...) I know I got it tattooed for a reason. (...be saved.)
(I won't...) I shut the door and, turn all the lights out. (...be saved.)
(I won't...) And listen to all the songs that the night shouts. (...be saved.)
"I want to go home now." Ritsuka was avoiding all eye-contact with everyone currently in the room. Soubi stared on at Ritsuka, half in happiness for finally having him back, and half in sadness for the way he was presently acting. He yearned to tell his Sacrifice what he had wanted to say on the night that the boy went into the coma, but he wasn't sure if right now was the right time. Ritsuka seemed a bit shaken up at the moment, and he figured the least he could do at the time being, was listen to what Ritsuka had to say to them all. "I want to go home." he repeated once more.
"I'll inform the doctor that you've awoken." Soubi smiled. He could very well tell that Ritsuka was very troubled at the moment, but he found that he couldn't help but smile at the boy. He was just so happy to finally see him awake. Soubi left the room to find the doctor -or a nurse at least- leaving Ritsuka with Youji, Natsuo, and Kio. All was silent for several minutes, until the sound of Natsuo's footsteps were heard walking up to Rituka's bed.
"Welcome back, Ritsuka!" he smiled, "How do you feel?"
"Like shit." Ritsuka replied silently. It was the truth, though. He felt like crawling into a hole and living for the rest of his life. His arm was terribly sore, he decided, looking down upon the bandage that was covering the long cut going up it. Natsuo noticed this,
"So what happened there?"
"Nothing." Ritsuka answered quickly, averting his eyes to his other arm. "I just want to go home." this line was said more slowly than the last. It was Kio's turn to walk up to Ritsuka. He wasn't going to take much more of this sulking. The kid had been in a coma for three days for God's sake! And all he had to say was that he wanted to go home?!
"You know, brat. Sou-chan was really worried about you!" At the mention of Soubi, Ritsuka covered his ears and shut his eyes as if to block out the whole world. Why couldn't he just go back to where he was? He had been happy there in that vast sea of water. His heart had stopped fighting with his mind after a while, and he had completely given up. He had been happy. Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone?
"I want to go home." he said more sternly this time, clenching his teeth. Tears started going down his cheeks. He was sick of this. Sick of everyone. Kio, taken aback by the boy's actions, looked at Youji and Natsuo as if they could do something to stop his crying.
"We'll make sure you get home soon, don't worry." Natsuo had his hands on his knees, bending down a bit, as if to look into Ritsuka's eyes. He could not see they other boy's eyes though, for they were covered with his hands now. At hearing these words from Natsuo, Ritsuka removed his hands from his eyes to look at him. Ritsuka's expression was one of anger and happiness mixed together. He moved his legs so that they hung off of the bed. Natsuo moved back to his original position beside of Youji as they all stared, wondering what would happen next. Ritsuka's feet hit the floor silently, and he began to walk toward the door, a bit wobbly at first, leaving the room.
"Aren't you going to try and stop him?" Kio questioned the two boys, looking on at them in disbelief.
"He wants to go home, so he's going home. It's none of our concern." Youji shrugged.
"What about Sou-chan? What are you going to tell him?" Kio voice rose a bit.
"You didn't stop him either. It's just as much your fault as it is ours. We all know that he doesn't want to be here. We should find Soubi and tell him, though." It was as if Youji was psychic at that moment in time, for Soubi just came back into the room.
"Where's Ritsuka?" were the first words out of his mouth.
'I know mother will be angry. She surely hasn't been to the hospital since I've been in a coma. I know she will either be angry because the real Ritsuka would never do such a thing as this.' he though, looking down at his wrapped up arm, 'I was a bit afraid of this reaction at first, but not anymore...' At this point, his focus was no longer outside of the bus window, but was focused on un-wrapping his bandaged arm. The cut looked fairly deep. 'How could I not have died?' he sighed, 'Maybe mother will punish me until the point of death this time.' Ritsuka was sick of life. His mother didn't love him because he wasn't the real Ritsuka; Soubi, he had decided, had never loved him. The only people that slightly cared for him were Yuiko and Yayoi, but he knew deep down, they would eventually grow to hate him...everyone always did. Kio would be glad if Ritsuka was gone, he figured, he would then have Soubi all to himself. And Youji and Natsuo, they really didn't care for anyone except each other. So why would things be any different with Ritsuka gone? The bus finally stopped at a street near his home, so he climbed off. 'If mother doesn't end me, then I'll just have to try it again myself.' was the thought going through his mind as he walked in a slightly quick pace toward his long-awaited home. 'Nothing can stop me this time, Soubi is probably just now figuring out I'm gone.'
"What do you mean he went home?" Soubi asked the three people in the room with him, trying to keep his composure. Had his mother come to get him while he had been gone? No. She knew not about Ritsuka's condition, much less his whereabouts.
"Just like we said. He got off of the bed, and left to go home." Youji said plainly, leaning against the wall.
"Why didn't you stop him?" Soubi's voice was starting to sound panicked. What if he had gotten kidnaped, or worse. What if he had tried to end his life again?
"He wanted to leave. You could tell he wasn't happy here. Why should we stop him?" Natsuo answered for his partner, Kio just kept quiet on the matter. They were right, Soubi realized, why should he force Ritsuka to stay in a place he clearly didn't want to be? Because Seimei had ordered him to look after Ritsuka and to love him. But no, it was more than that now. He loved Ritsuka, despite Seimei's order. And he had yet to prove that to the boy. That was why he needed to find Ritsuka. At this point, Soubi said no more, and merely exited the room without another word, walking swiftly to the hospital exit. He was going to find the boy that he loved, the boy that he hoped beyond all belief was alright.
"Ritsuka? Where have you been?" his mother sobbed on Ritsuka's shoulder.
"I'm sorry mother." was his solemn reply. He knew what was coming...just a few more minutes.
"R-Ritsuka?" she lifted his cut arm to look at it. "What happened? Did you do this to yourself?" her voice began to rise. 'Any second now...' he closed his eyes in preparation. "You did, didn't you?! You're not Ritsuka!" she screamed, "Give my Ritsuka back, you're not him!" her hands encircled her son's throat. "Give him back to me!" she sobbed. Ritsuka couldn't breathe, he truly was not getting any oxygen. And as much as he wanted this, it hurt... and Ritsuka cried. He wanted so bad just to end this pain for good. Suddenly, his mother let go of his throat, and punched his hard across the left cheek, causing hip lip to bleed. She continued to do this, and Ritsuka couldn't help but defend himself as he raised his arms to his head. She knocked him down this time, both of them still crying. "Give Ritsuka back!" she sunk to the floor and covered her face with her hands, sobbing uncontrollably. Ritsuka knew it was over for now, and so he got up with much difficulty and left to his room. He could feel his cheek was swollen as he wiped the blood away from his mouth. His right arm was already turning grossly colors of black and blue from being pushed down. On his way to the floor, his arm had hit a nearby table. He somehow found himself still crying, but this time for a different reason.
"Why didn't she kill me? I was so ready to die, so why?!" he yelled at himself, reaching in a drawer on his desk to get a bandage for his cheek where his mother's nails had scratched the side if his face in the process of punching him. But when he had opened it, something caught his eye. Something that he believed proved better than a bandage at the moment. A pair of scissors. Wiping the tears from his eyes he opened them, holding them dangerously near his already penetrated wrist. A noise came from behind him, distinctively, the window. And before he had time to turn around, the scissors were snatched away from his hand, and he was pulled into a strong embrace. He knew instantly who it was. He was not going to put up with this right now. Not when he had been so close. With all the strength he could muster up, he shoved the figure that was holding onto him so tightly. It barely did anything though, the person just kept holding on tighter to the boy.
"Ritsuka, please..." Soubi began, only to be shoved again. He felt that Ritsuka was crying. "Please, just listen to me."
"W-why should I?!" Ritsuka half screamed and half sobbed into Soubi's chest. "All you ever do is lie! It was all just another order! You don't really love me, so stop trying to pretend that you fucking do! That's an order!" he struggled to get away from the stronger male. Soubi released him a bit, so that he could look at Ritsuka's face. It was tear-stained and so...broken.
"Just listen." teary violet eyes were looking into clear blue ones as Soubi continued, "I never got to finish what I wanted to say that night." he paused for a second, giving Ritsuka time to reply if he wanted to. But seeing that he wasn't going to, the man continued, "My order to love you was by Seimei, there's no denying that fact. But after a while, I realized that Seimei's order was not what was controlling my feelings." At hearing this, Ritsuka looked a bit surprised. Was this just another lie? Surely Soubi wouldn't just say this. Even Soubi, he knew, wouldn't want to hurt Ritsuka this bad by lying to him about something like this.
"R-rea-." Ritsuka could hardly get out what he was saying because even though he didn't want them to, tears kept rolling down his face, "Really?" he finally got out.
"Ritsuka." Soubi's expression was one of relief as he smiled at Ritsuka. "Please explain to me what happened." his voice was soothing and he had finally released the boy a few minutes ago, sure that he wouldn't run away. He wiped a tear away from Ritsuka's cheek, and held his hand out to him. Ritsuka looked at Soubi's hand, and slowly placed his own on it. His heart had won...
"Soubi..." he began. He had thought about this deeply. As to why he always got so angry when he thought about Seimei's order to love Ritsuka. There was only once explanation, he decided. "I'm not sure about this...but I think I love you." He blushed a bit. They were both sitting on Ritsuka's bed while Soubi proceeded to bandage up Ritsuka's new wounds. "But of course," he looked away toward the wall, "I'm not sure if that's what it is or not." He was Loveless after all. How could he know if these feelings were love?
"Ritsuka..." Soubi said softly, bringing Ritsuka's face back around so he could look him in the eyes, "It's ok to love..." he smiled. Ritsuka found tears coming from his eyes again. Why did he have to cry so much? He wondered. These were not tears of sadness this time though, he knew. These felt like...tears of joy. He felt complete, for the first time in his life. Or what he could remember of his life anyway. "Because I love you too...truthfully." he planted a small kiss on the boy's lips, pulling away and wiping the tears from Ritsuka's cheeks.
"W-when I was in the coma, I could hear your voice calling out to me." Ritsuka admitted to the man, "My heart wanted to believe that it was all going to be alright, but my mind just kept telling me that it was all an order." Soubi had finished bandaging the boy's wounds. "And even now, Soubi... I don't know if I can believe if it is all really just an order. Or if you love me like you say you do. But...my heart wants to believe that you really do." he paused, and he moved closer to Soubi, "And that's ok with me." he smiled, and kissed Soubi shyly. Soubi took him into his arms.
"I love you...Ritsuka."
Yep...it's over. FINALLY, right? lol Review or my precious Rutou will send his kittens to eat your knee-caps off!
Rutou: Umm...no, I won't. I promise. ::sweatdrop::
You will... O.o