Chapter 19

PS: I own nothing of the characters nor CBS.

We've been officially together now for two months, still unofficial at work. We haven't told anyone but everyone knows- it's just we haven't made an 'official' announcement. Anyway as Catherine puts it, 'it's none of their freakin' damn business'. And I agree with her.

It's either I end up at her place or she's at my apartment after shift. At times we tear each other's clothes off once we close the door and make passionate love. At times we just cuddle infront of the TV. And at times we just sit and talk. I would be lying if I said we stopped arguing with each other now that we're together. We still do. Sometimes it can become more intense, more heated. Whether it be at her place or mine, in the car or at work.

But I'm never the one to complain.

Because I'm with Catherine.

Catherine slams the locker shut and walks up to me. "I hate it when you do that, Sara Sidle."

I don't back down but face her head on. "Hey, you're not the only one in the case, Catherine." I see Greg quietly gather his bag and slowly tiptoe out of the locker room.

Her hands are on her hips, icy blue eyes never leaving mine. "Did I say that? It suppose to be teamwork. Not a fly by solo, Sara. Who are you trying to impress?" We just got in from a murder case and I knew that she already had Hodges work on the samples she brought in. But I forced him to look at my evidence first. I know I can get impatient at times, and this was one of those times.

"I'm not trying to impress anyone. I thought the fingerprint from the broken glass might tell us something." My voice is raised a tad higher. But I'm trying to stress a point.

"Really?" It was said sarcastically as she takes a step forward. "More important than figuring whose DNA was on the possible weapon? A crowbar with blood that was found three feet away from the victim. When I tell Hodges to get on it, that means it's priority." Her voice matched mine. And from the corner of my eye I saw a whistling Nick walk in casually carrying a big box, he looked at us and the whisltling died down, he then backed out slowly, quietly closing the door behind him. Everyone knows Catherine is not a person to be messed with. When she's in this mood, you'd better back off.

But that is still something I have to work on. But still...

I can feel my pulse rise in anger. And then I question: Who does she think she is? Why does she always have to get her way? We're both CSI's here. Why does her stuff get to be done first?

So here I am with a stand off with the beautiful Catherine. The same woman whom I made love to before we came on shift. The same woman who purrs my name before and after her orgasm. The same woman I love to stare at when she's asleep.

But we're at work and now we're professionals agruing whose right.

I of course think I'm right. So we stand there, staring and breathing down at each other's neck.

Seconds tick by and then I watch her eyes shift and focus on my lips, then she unconsciously bites her lower lip. Her right eyebrow slightly rises. Now I know exactly what's running on her mind when she does that.

Damn, I get so turned on that I'm a goner! I find myself pushing her against the locker and kissing her furiously. She grabs my shirt and pulls me till our bodies touch. I lean into her wanting to feel more. Our hands with a life of it's own find it's way underneath our top clothing. My leg comes in between her thighs and I feel her moan as she pushes herself forward. She's most beautiful when she becomes vulnerable. She gives in to my touch, my kiss, my caress. And I become her slave when I hear her moan, whisper my name, feel her breath quicken.

"Shower room." I say in between breaths. She doesn't say anything. The only sound I hear is her heavy breathing as we take big strides to the shower room.

This is one of the reasons why I don't complain when we argue. There is always a positive outcome.

I'm still tucking in my shirt when she reaches her cell phone. She casually wipes the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand.

"Hodges, it's Catherine. Have you tested the crowbar I brought in? No? What the hell? I said awhile ago to 'get on it'. Do you have selective hearing or something? Hodges, you're stuttering. Breathe, man. Sara? She told you what?" Catherine looks at me and smiles sweetly. I can picture Hodges sweating bullets now. She stands up and goes to the mirror, combing her hair with her fingers. She turns around and winks at me. Then she continues her torture with Hodges. "Hodges, who are you more afraid of? Yes, that's what I thought. Okay, you're not going to do it again. Okay. Stop stuttering. I said stop...stuttering. There. Since you started with Sara's go ahead and finish it. Then do the crowbar. Next time when I give you something to do, I expect you to do it. Got it? Good. I'm hanging up so stop apologizing and stuttering."

Ahhh. The woman has her ways. And I love her for that.

She walks to me as she closes her cell. She reaches up and kisses me lightly on the lips. "You got away this time, Sidle." She pulls me closer and nibbles on my ear. "We'll continue this discussion later." I of course am speechless of the sensation she's now creating.

I need to see Grissom in his office to get his signature to close a case. Hopefully I can do this in less than a minute. I really don't feel like having a conversation with him. Ever since we broke up he's spending more time in his office. Surrounded by his jars of imported insects, butterflies, a fetus among other weird looking stuffs. I guess he finds peace and comfort there.


"Hey, Griss. You busy?" I pop my head in as I open his door. Files are stacking up on his table but somehow he finds time to make a minature replica of his office.

He looks up with tweezers in hand. "Sara, come in." Seems like he's putting in the finishing touches of one of the minature book cases.

"Um, I need you to look over this file so we can close the case." I place the file in front of his seat.

"Okay." He walks over to his table and picks up the file. "The Zimmerman case. I'm glad his son is behind bars." He looks up at me and I nod in agreement. He then scribbles his name on a couple of papers and hands me the file.

I guess we're still at the point where everything is uncomfortable between us. I can live with that.

I mutter a 'thanks' and head for the door.


Crap. I was so close to getting out! I turn around with my hand still on the door handle. Maybe he'll get the message. But then he's Grissom, void of any external emotion. "Yeah?"

"Sara, I..." He takes a deep breath. "Can we talk?"

"Umm, sure, I guess." I walk back hugging the file close to my chest.

"I... Sara, I..." He walks behind his desk and sits, rubs his temple with his index finger. I'm predicting he's going to have a migraine pretty soon.

"Gris, we can do this later..."

"No, no. I need to...I need to understand."

"I'm inlove with Catherine."

"I know. I see it. I just want to know...need to know..." He turns away and looks at the various minature replicas of crime scenes that were incased in glass.

I took a deep breath and answered quietly. "I thought I loved you but I guess it was springing from admiration. You were my mentor and I looked up to you. I guess I mistook that for love."

His eyes were filled with saddness as he finally looks up to me. "I should've listened to the signs."


"Even when we were together, you never looked at me the way you looked at Catherine." He half smiles at me. "When she's in the conversation you suddenly become interested. You become conscious of yourself when she walks in the room."

"I don't... I never noticed..."

He interrupts me, "but I have noticed, Sara. I did. But deep down inside of me I didn't want to think of it. When Catherine offered her place two months ago, part of me said 'don't'. And the other part of me said, 'we'll see what happens'. And so here we are now."


"I thought it was my mistake but I guess eventually you two will finds your way to each other. It would be my mistake to keep holding on to you. I see the way she looks at you. I dismissed it as peer jealousy. But come to think of it, it is. She was jealous of me being with you." He gets up and stands infront of me. "Promise me something, Sara."


"Take care of Catherine, okay? It's good to see her happy again. It's good to see both of you happy."

I don't know what came into me but I reached out and gave him a hug. "I promise. And thank you, Gil."

I walked out of his office with a spring on my steps.

I walk in Catherine's office.

"Where the hell have you been?" Catherine doesn't look up from her computer. "I've been waiting for you for fifteen freaking minutes in the breakroom for our so called coffee break. I got tired of waiting and was about to get up and turn the place over to look for you when Greg walks in. He askes me what's wrong and so I gave him hell instead." Damn, I love this woman!

I take a seat infront of her and watch her go on and on about me missing our coffee break and how she scared an innocent Greg who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. She is so cute when she's upset!

I can't help but continue to fall in love with this woman. Call me silly, but I love listening to the sound of her voice. It doesn't matter if she's complaining, or angry and irritated, demanding, arguing, sweet talking, whispering, or moaning my name while we're making love...I just love any kind of sound that comes from her.

"Helloooo...hello. Earth to Sara." She knocks on the table bringing me back to my senses. "Did you hear a word that I said? Are you even listening to me? I guess not judging by that silly grin that's plastered on your face. Do you have selective hearing or something? Am I boring you? Do you think..."

I smile at her. "I love you, Catherine."

She looks at me, right eyebrow arched up. "Stop changing the topic, Sidle. You're not getting away with that one."

"But I really do love you, baby," I said protesting.

"And I love you too, Sara, but still you're not going to get away with that. So what else can you come up with?" She leans back on her chair and folds her arms across her chest.

God, I adore this woman! She is utterly and totally adorable!

Catherine looks at me waiting for me to say something. "So?" I know she won't let go till she gets a satisfied answer.


"Where not here to chant, Sara."

I take a deep breath. "I finally talked to Grissom. Actually he talked to me."


I knew she'd want more than that! "Told him I'm in love with you."

"And?" She wants more explanation?

"I told him I'm inlove with you." I said again.

"I heard that part, Sara. I'm not deaf, you know." She leans forward and asks again, "and?"

I open my mouth but nothing came out. What else did Grissom and I talk about? And here sits Catherine waiting for more. I open my mouth again and blurted out, "he told me to take care of you and he's happy to see you happy."

She gets up from her seat with a satisfied smile and pats me on the head as she walks out the door. "See? Was that so hard, Sara dearest?"

And I just sat there with my mouth open.

It's after shift and I'm sitting on the passenger's side of Catherine's car. She starts the engine and looks at me with a smug smile.

I cross my arms across my chest and continue to look ahead. " I still love you to pieces, Catherine Willows, but sometimes you have a mean streak."

She touches my arm trying to soothe me, "awww, my baby is upset. I'll make it up to you, honey." She glances my way with a huge smile.

The garage door opens and she slowly parks her car inside. We come in the house and I feel something's off. I look around and it's seems that it's quiet. Too quiet for a Saturday morning.

I call out to Catherine who headed upstairs to her bedroom. "Honey, wheres' Lindsey? She said she'll be up early so we can work on her project. And I don't see your mom either." I'm trying to be as calm as possible.

She calls out from upstairs. "What did you say, honey?"

No sense making her panic. "Ummm... Lemme check if Lindsey's in her room asleep." My heart is starting to race. I'm trying not to think of the worst case scenario here. But I find myself practically running upstairs.

I knock on her door."Linds?" No answer. I turn the knob and open her door. The bed has not been slept in. Now I feel my pulse rising! Where the hell is Lindsey? Did she not sleep here last night?

Oh, lord...I feel like I'm going to faint.

"Sara, honey? Everything okay?" She sees me coming in her room slowly. I don't think I can look at her. How can I tell her that Lindsey didn't even sleep here? She takes me by the hand and leads me to the side of the bed to sit down.

"Cath... Linds..." I start.

"Shhhh..." She silences me with her finger to my lips. "Lindsey is with my sister."

I sit straight up. "What? Why didn't you tell me..." Again she puts her finger to my lips.

"Remember when I told you I'll make it up to you in the car?" She picks up the remote for the stereo and soft music starts to fill the air.

I know my mouth is still hanging open trying to figure what's going on.

"Well," she begins. "You know that I love you very much and..."

I interrupt her. "Catherine, what's going on?"

She looks at me, "shut up, Sara. Can't you see I'm trying to say something here? Everytime I'm trying to say something you interrupt. Why can't you just wait till I..."

I held my hand up. "Okay, okay. I'm shutting up. I'm shutting up, Catherine."

"There you go again, Sara. I haven't even finished my sentence and you start interrupting me. Like last night when I was asking you about the blouse I was..."

I took her hand. "Catherine. I'm shutting up. See?" I zipped my mouth up with my finger and threw away the imaginary key.

She smiles contentedly. "Good. Now, as I was saying, you know that I'm in love with you, right?" I nod my head in agreement. "Good. And I know that you love and adore me to pieces that you still cannot get enough of me, right?" I grin and again nod in agreement. And she continues, "well, I think it's useless for you to continue to pay monthly rental on your apartment when you're mostly here. So..." I can feel my heart beat slowly rising. "So," she says again, "I want, that is if you want to, and Lindsey agrees with this, too, that if..."

"Lindsey agrees? Really, really?" I blurted out happily.

She stands up and puts her hands on her waist, "I swear, Sara Sidle, the next time you interrupt me..."

"Sorry, I had a spare key." I again zipped my mouth and threw away the now imaginary spare key.

"Better." She again sits besides me and takes my hand in hers. "As I was saying before you interrupted me numerous, numerous times and I predict you will interrupt me numerous times as time goes by. And I know that we've been only going out for two months and maybe you might think it's too soon, but I'll understand..."

I opened my mouth to say something but she was quicker. "Shut up, Sara. Obviously you have too many spare keys in you pocket."

So I clamped my mouth and smiled. And I'm getting excited by the second.

"Now as I was saying..." She pauses and takes a deep breath. "I want you to move in with me, with us. With me and Lindsey. And you know she totally adores you. And obviously, I cannot function without you. I really hate it when we're apart. We've lost precious time all these months and I don't want to loose another day without you by my side." She lifts my hand and places it close to her heart. "So what do you say, Sara? If you think it's too soon, I'll under..."



"The first time we met, remember?" She nodded her head. "I knew who you were because I read everyone's file on the airplane on my way to Vegas. Plus your picture was on the file. But I still had to ask you if you knew where I could find Catherine Willows and you gave me a smart answer. Remember that?"

"Ahhh. I remember. I was an ass. Sorry about that." She grins at me guiltily.

"And a very sexy ass you have. Anyway, I wanted to put a voice to that beautiful face in the picture. And I knew I was smitten the first time I saw you. You were irrisistable! But I dismissed it as just a physical attraction, even though I felt it was more than that. I also wanted to know you more but somehow we never got along. You made it..." I could see her right eyebrow arch up a bit. "Let me rephrase that, we both made it hard on eachother. I tried, Catherine, but failed constantly. Grissom was the first one to accept me so I guess the need to be wanted and accepted led me to him. But..." I cupped her face in my hands. "But as it was pointed out to me, I never could look at him the way I've always looked at you. I love you, Catherine. I loved you for so long. And yes. I don't want to waste anymore time being away from you. If you didn't asked me I would've asked you to move in with me, you know. And I wouldn't take 'no' for an answer." I shruggerd my shoulders, "and that would mean Lindsey would have to sleep on the sofa till I got a bigger place."

Catherine smiles mischeviously, "you could've said 'yes', you know."

"I know. But I also know you'll never be satisfied with a simple 'yes'."

She stands up, "wait here." She walks to the closet.

"What?" I was about to get up.

"Wait there!" She commanded.

So I sat back on the bed again. "Whatever you say." What is she up to?

She comes back with a thin box that was like around nearing four feet long. What does she got in there? A shot gun?

"I owe you this." She says with a grin as she opens the top of the box. A sword perhaps?

All I could think of is that we're going to end our lives like Romeo and Juliet, sealing our love to the end. But I would gladly give my life for and to her. And if ending mine would seal our destiny, so be it. I am ready!

She pulls out a metallic blue pole and glances at me and sees the confusion on my face. But she didn't say anything and continues to set it up, humming in between.

Then she adjusts and pulls a thinner pole from the bottom of the metal making it longer and longer, tightening the sides till it stretched up to the ceiling. When she was done she faces me with the most playful smile.

Then I understood.

It was a pole.

"I ordered this and it came last week. But I had to wait." She still sees the confusion written all over my face. "A pole for a poll, remember? The guys we're betting if you'd stay longer. And I'm glad that you're now staying forever." She picks up the remote and changes the music. Chris Isaak's sexy voice singing'Wicked Games' fill the air.

"Happy two month anniverasry, love." She slowly unbottons her top blouse as she sexily sways to the music.

And I sat back grinning, excited like a little girl watching a long awaited favorite fantasy come to life.

I'm so in love with this sexy goddess in front of me...

Damn, I love my life!

Thanks for reading. Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Reviews would be great.