Disclaimer: Okay, say this in a retard voice: Meeee noooo oooowwwwnnn Innn yooououuouuur yaahshshsssshhuuuuuhhuhhhh? (Translation: I don't own Inuyasha.)
I hope anyone who has read this before the edit will enjoy the new out-of-script version. If not, well, hope you saved the other one on your documents.
It seemed just like any other day in the feudal era. The scenery was marked with pretty trees, green grass, squares of water, blood everywhere, festering unburied corpses laying in totally random places, the silent constant realization that, unless you're a very powerful demon, you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of living your whole life. All in all, purely typical stuff.
Until that horrible day occurred.
Now, Sesshomaru had just gone through a typical night with Jaken and Rin and that big ass Ah-Un horse thing that tags along with them for some inexplicable reason. Quite a jolly little soiree, since lately, Sesshomaru's group hasn't run across anybody threatening. Of course, being the strongest demon this side of whatever side of Japan this cartoon is in. Still, you'd think that, sometime or another, they would've run across Inuyasha's group. Sesshomaru honestly didn't care at all, though. What does he care about?
Nothing. He's a bad ass, and you know it, so shut up.
Anyways, the night went on as usual. Walking, stopping, walking, stopping, blah, yack, wing, dang, donkey, dingey. You get it. The group finally stopped for the night to sleep. Of course, since Sesshomaru is such a bad ass, all he did was stand on the very edge of a cliff and stare at the moon, contemplating things and stuff.
For 8 hours.
In the cold-ass wind.
Of course, since Sesshomaru is such a bad ass, his demon skin is cold resistant.
But that's not what this is about. Anyways, Sesshomaru stood his bad ass there the whole 9 hours. He finally decided to go back to where his two compatriots were sleeping, wake them up, and start walking around aimlessly again in the hopes of running across Inuyasha and the gang and being a part of the main plot again. But when he got there, Jaken and Rin weren't there! Sesshomaru decided they must have gotten up to go get a drink, or use the tree, or something. He went to the water to wait for them, since they weren't at the water either. After about an hour, they still hadn't shown up. Neither had anybody, for that matter. Of course, since Sesshomaru was such a bad ass, he could care less, and he will.
He was getting rather impatient after another 20 minutes of waiting, so he decided to fly around and search for them. He covered a lot of ground, and still hadn't seen a thing. No one. No animals, no people, no demons, not even so much as a goddamn insect.
Where was everyone at?
Now, this is about the time when a pathetic human would get in the fetal position, suck their thumb, bawl and squall, and if this were an angst fic, slit their wrists and OD on drugs.
Not Sesshomaru, the bad ass. No sir, he just walked around as usual, with nobody around. He wasn't lonely, misanthropes don't do wussy crap like get lonely. Emotions, my friends, are for girls and little girly men who soil their nappies and have their emotional mommas wipe it up. Bad ass-Sesshomaru didn't do that shit (HA HA GET THE JOKE?). Sesshomaru went the whole day, or two hours if you want to get technical, not giving a emotional rat's momma-wiped ass where Rin and Jaken were.
After all, there were plenty of things one could do as the sole inhabitant of an entire country. Why, one could read a good-sized novel, or contemplate the beauty of the night sky, or master complex algebra. Perhaps Sesshomaru could finally have enough peace and quiet to finish that utopian society he had been working on in his own head since he was a small child. Hell, think of how many animes one could watch without the trials and tribulations of life with other people getting in the way! No more Inuyasha, no more Jaken, no more Naraku...
Naraku's face flashed into Sesshomaru's mind.
Then his "Giving A Shit" meter suddenly kicked into "Oh, God!" mode.
"Naraku!" Sesshomaru quietly shouted somehow. "That son of a (INSERT JAPANESE WORD FOR BITCH HERE)."
In his anger, he began flying all over Japan in search of the tyrannical half demon that had been such a pain in the ass since the first time Sesshomaru had ever seen him. He flew and flew and flew and flew and flew until he got tired and nose dived right into a tree.
"Ugh... a bird's nest? What the hell?"
Even though Sesshomaru landed in a giant bird's nest, there was nothing there but an egg. Sesshomaru decided to rest in the nest for a small while until the "Daddy I'm Flying!" meter filled itself up. But, alas, after about 15 minutes, the egg began hatching!
Sesshomaru was going to be a momma.
Of course, since Sesshomaru is such a busy ass, he had no time for silly things like being momma. He would kill the bird, throw it out, and have sleeping room in case he needed it. He walked toward the bird and prepared to strike. Before he could, however, the bird emitted a foul shriek and burst into nothing but a cloud of dust.
"What the hell is going on?" Sesshomaru asked you, the audience. "Where are the people? Where are the beasts of the forest? And, most importantly, do I even need to care?... And why am I asking you? Go read something else."
TO BE CONTINUED