-It Just Is-
An hour into their trashy TV and junk food marathon and lethargy was creeping in on the injured blonde.
"Okay, I so don't get what's going on. Antonio was married to Susan, who now is with Robert, but he is still with Rebecca who likes to take that little hairless cat thing with her everywhere and we're pretty sure she loves that thing more than anyone. And then there's that monkey who seems to be coming on to everyone but who you think is secretly in love with Susan but she's too wrapped up in her crazy talking to herself in the mirror and planning revenge on Tony to notice odd monkey advances. Why do we watch this crap again, it's so confusing?"
"You like it because everyone is always trying to have sex with everyone else, bestiality, morals, everything aside; you're all about the subtext."
"Right, but still, even this is a bit much for me."
"Yeah, I'm kind of sick of day time TV. Let's do something else."
"Okay, um, I actually wanted to ask you something."
"Alright, I'm hesitantly open to just about anything, Brooke, so shoot."
"Is it my fault?"
"You running reds, being that reckless to the point of nearly dying. Am I part of the reason why you've been so sad, why you've been hurting so much, and to that point, where you'd do something…?"
"Brooke, stop. I don't have all the answers. If you want an honest answer I can try. I don't think you were directly a factor. Yes, I missed you like crazy and it was so hard, but it wasn't you, it was the loss of you, and dream you, my dad and my mom that mainly drove me to so much pain I think. It wasn't you."
"How, I mean, what happened?"
"I lost my mom a long time ago, we all know that, but I don't know if I will ever fully recover from the effects that had on me. Then I lost you, and then I lost the only parent I had left. I had no one Brooke. I was all alone. I started having more dreams about my mom dying and then they would morph into dreams about me losing you and then my dad abandoning me. And sometimes she would come to me, and try and comfort me. I just wanted that back, I miss her so much, I just wish I could have that. I needed her, I needed something, I don't know. I just, it happened alright, it was stupid but I'll be okay. I'll, I'll be okay."
Brooke was crying, for Peyton, for all the pain in her life, for herself, for everything. She pulled the blonde in close to her and just held on not wanting to let go.
"Promise me; promise me you won't do anything like that ever again. I can't lose you, not again, I can't. We need each other Peyt, we can't let each other sink so low. I am so sorry I abandoned you, and wasn't around. I'm here now though, and I'll never leave again, you will be okay, I'll make sure of it. Just promise me."
"I promise. I'm sorry Brooke, I need you too."
After a few moments of silence Brooke finally released Peyton and they settled back down. Noticed how much time had passed since the morning, and since Peyton took her last pain killer, Brooke decided to see how she was doing in that department.
"How are you feeling, need another pain killer?"
"I don't like the way they make me feel."
"But are you in pain?"
"Yes, my whole left side is throbbing, but I hate taking meds."
"Will you please take just one? Come on, Peyt, you're hurting."
"Fine, but you have to help me get changed, I want to take a shower, but I can't get my top off by myself."
"That I can definitely do, but I don't think you should take a shower when you're so weak. I'll give you a bath."
"Brooke, I can give myself a bath, I'm not completely helpless, I think you just want to see me naked."
"Well that is definitely a bonus, but who helped you get changed last night? Me, and did I do anything? No. As much of a sex addict as you think I am, that's not what this is about. Peyton, you can barely move, your whole side is bruised and you've got dozens of little cuts and bruises, you're going to need help, let me help you."
"Damn it B. Davis, I hate it when you're right."
"You know you love it P. Sawyer."
"So what if I do."
"You'll just have to wait to find out, won't you?"
"Come on Blondie, let's get you that medicine and then into the bath, you'll be feeling better in no time."
Slipping into the hot water a soft hiss echoed through the bathroom as Peyton got herself comfortable, or as close to it as she could. Pulling her knees into herself, she rested her chest against them leaning forward and let out a small sight as the pain seemed to ebb with the warm water.
"Shit Blondie, you entire back is black and blue."
"Brooke, I'm sorry."
"I just am, okay? I'm so tired, of everything, I just want it all over with, I want it gone."
"Shh Peyt, it'll all be okay."
Brooke noticed that after she took a pain killer Peyton would slip further into whatever depression she had already been in and would say things that she did not think she would normally voice aloud had her inhibitions not been slightly altered. On the one hand the brunette thought this was a good thing, so she could gage just how far gone the girl really was. But then with that came more guilt and she knew just how bad things had really gotten. It was neither good nor bad, but she wasn't just going to ignore it all.
After getting dried off and redressed it was again night time and both girls were feeling weary after having had a seemingly long day. Getting into bed Peyton turned on her side to look at Brooke who was laying on her back.
"Do you ever think things will get better?"
"Of course they will. You won't be sore forever, you'll be back to your old self in no time."
"No, I mean, like…never mind."
"It will Peyt, it's just going to take time. Things aren't going to go back to they way they were over night, we're both going to have to work at this, and you're going to have to work hard at being okay again. But I'm going to help you, because I can't lose you again. So yes, things will get better."
Scooting closer Peyton draped an arm over Brooke's torso and snuggled up into her, making herself comfortable. The brunette draped her own arm around the blonde's back and cradled her gently as they both started to drift off.
"You don't have to say this back, but just in case I never get to tell you, if something happens, I love you."
"Nothings going to happen. You're going to get to say that to me many, many more times. And just so you know, I love you too Blondie."
AN: So...what did you think? Should it have gone in a different direction, should I have done something else? Your oppinion matters, so let me know. I don't know if I pulled off the whole Breyton relationship as well as I would have liked, your thoughts on that? Thanks to all who read and reviewed, much appreciation.