Disclaimer: Sadly, not mine. It would have ended different if it was…
Summary: A journey through Raito's eyes as he goes about his normal routine. Mind games included. Slight RaitoL
Summary 2: Raito fucks (with) L (thank you loving Beta (E) for that one)
Notes: I tried to keep Raito in character. I hope it worked. Enjoy!
You know it's a good day when you wake up and the sun is shining, the birds are singing and Kira is on the front page of the paper. I simply smirk and read the paper quietly as my mother prepared breakfast and I sip a cup of hot, black coffee. Coffee is my morning essential. I am a god, but I was still human. I didn't need the bold, flavorful drink, but I liked the buzz the caffeine gave me as my brain woke up. A nice robust kick-start to a perfect day.
I could hear my mother speaking to me in the foreground. She was talking about my interest in Kira. It could be because I was admiring how I took front page. Well not me, the pseudo me, the part of me that for so long had been oppressed and shoved into the recesses of my entire being. The press loved me. People loved me—they could finally sleep peacefully at night because there was a god-like human watching over them.
Devine justice. Holy punishment. I love how it sounded. There was still much I needed to do before I gave up being Kira. The way things were going, I could be Kira until the end of time. That was human nature. A funny breed, humans. I think of myself as above their meaningless thoughts and petty squabbles. Of course, I was above them. I always have been, always will be. That was the plain and simple truth.
The walk to university was uneventful and the peons that walked past me were not even given a second glance. Of course, I kept up the appearance of being the perfect specimen. I was smart, personable, and damn sexy. Oh no, there's no narcissistic complex here—it's just another statement of facts; my genetics were damn good.
A week would never go by when I wasn't approached by a talent agent or a modeling scout begging me to come join their company. I didn't like the spotlight. It drew too much attention. If I was always being watched, then I couldn't freely be Kira.
Kira was society's answer to the sloth that reigned over the world.
Who would dish out the justice that this world so badly needed? Surely it wouldn't be the do-gooder L. He couldn't find Kira if I had the name written on my forehead.
Granted, he did suspect me, but how else was I supposed to find out information? Mind games were my favorite pastime. It was like the Americans and their baseball, or football—depending on the season. And I do realize that was a horrible analogy; I should strike it from my thought.
When I first made an oath to myself that I would be the reaper of Justice, I wondered if I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and succumb to fear over the acts I've done. But no. I sleep soundly, snuggled beneath the sheets and I dream of who would go next, and how they would die. They were satisfying dreams I would make a reality the first chance I got. I usually woke in a pleasant mood because of the dreams.
I entered the University's property and I could immediately feel his eyes watching me, burning my flesh with his gaze. It was as if he was waiting and watching for my presence to enter onto the scene. The corners of my mouth turned up a little and I quickly, but elegantly, making it look natural, turned to the nearest person saying good morning to me. Show time. If he wanted to watch, I would give him something to watch. I just hoped he enjoyed the show.
There was no fun in it if I wasn't testing his limit. My percentage of being Kira was low, but his gaze was glued to me. This was a game of cat and mouse; only much more civilized. I heard the female population squeal as I flashed them a smile. I didn't even bother to look in his direction. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction, no matter how much I wanted to. I prided myself on my self-control. It was flawless; I was flawless. I knew he was furious and still watching me. I don't think even a hawk's gaze was this intense. It only caused me to bask in the sensation I was causing him to feel.
I entered the building and had the flock of lambs follow. They were an annoyance now. They served their purpose and were no longer needed. Once something wasn't needed, it was promptly discarded like the garbage it was. End of story.
I took a seat and he slid into the seat beside me. "Good morning," I purred as I took my notes out of my bag. I looked at him through the stray hair that fell into my eyes.
"I was waiting for you this morning." He sulked and adjusted his limbs in the seat. He didn't even notice the death glares from the people waiting to pounce on the open spots next to me.
"I'm terribly sorry. Had I have known, I wouldn't have kept you waiting." I smiled and looked at him. Of course I knew you were waiting and watching me, I could feel your eyes burn my skin. I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of my gaze. "You have my attention now. Has something come up?" I asked innocently, not giving away that the great detective L was sitting next to me.
Then again I could probably tell everyone that the person next to me was L and I would most likely be called crazy. "Actually, I wanted your opinion on something."
Was that his cover, or was there really something he wanted to discuss with me? His motives and movements were erratic but predictable. Human nature always moved in a pattern. Of course there were hundreds of patterns, but they were patterns nonetheless. All I needed to do was pick the right one and everything would enfold without me doing a thing.
"Then how about after the last class? The café at the corner with the fresh deserts delivered everyday at 3?" It was sickening, he was practically drooling over the thought of the sugar injected sweets. To anyone situated around him, he would have looked normal, but I could predict his behavior and could see the mental drool frothing down his brain.
L bit on his big thumb as he considered my proposition. "Deal."
I spent the rest of class listening to the professor. Again, not once did I give a sideways glance to vile creature next to me. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if the professor called his name and asked if something was on my face because he wouldn't look away. Yes I am beautiful, yes I am perfect, and yes I am a god, so leave me alone. I deserved a medal for my performance. I was brilliant.
Class ended and before I could even move from my position, females (if they could be called that) flocked my surrounding table. It was utterly disgusting. I casually said a pleasant goodbye to Ryuzaki before being escorted off to the library to help out a fellow classmate. I would rather slit my wrists and write my own name in the Death Note, but sacrifices had to be made to maintain my identity as the perfect individual.
I finished up at the library and made my way over to the café. I knew Ryuzaki was paranoid about the general public. Having arrived just in time before the rush, I took a booth he would approve of and even took the opposite seat he would like to sit in. I was considerate, I know. It was fun playing with a paranoid L, but being at the same table as him when he was freaking out…thanks, I've already learnt that lesson the hard way.
I suppressed the urge to glance at my watch. I already knew he was watching me from outside. I could feel his eyes watching me. Actually, more than just Ryuzaki was watching me. Half of the people in here were either openly staring, hoping I wouldn't catch them, or glaring at be because of the said people watching me. Look, if you don't want your girlfriend, hell even your boyfriend drooling over me, then do something about it already, unless you really want me to take them away.
I look this way because I was born like this. Having a pretty face takes away my societal potential of being Kira. It was another point in my direction. Ryuzaki was officially late. I was about to leave when a fellow classmate from one of my advanced classes slipped into the seat across from me.
I smiled politely but on the inside I was ripping him to shreds. How dare he presume that he was able so sit so casually with me! The least he could have done was ask before he plopped his fat ass into the seat.
He apologized for his erratic behavior. That was a bonus for him. He pulled out a textbook and asked how to solve some equation dealing with ratios. He went on about if he failed the upcoming test and losing his reputation…I wasn't listening too hard. I was kind enough to show him how to solve it. The waitress came by and took our order. The guy didn't want anything, but I ordered two coffees and two slices of their famous strawberry shortcake with extra drizzling and strawberries.
I smiled and explained it was for the person I was waiting for. The guy got the hint. Another point for him. He thanked me and hurried off to whatever an imbecile like him did with his after school time. I didn't have to wait much longer before Ryuzaki made his appearance.
Ryuzaki slid into his seat and smiled sheepishly at me. Oh cut the crap, I knew you've been watching me for a while now. I smiled politely. "I took the liberty of ordering for you. I'm sure you won't mind."
The waitress came a few moments later and slid the plates onto the table. "Thank you." I smiled politely and turned to look at her.
"Will there be anything else for you?" I shook my head and she continued, "Well, if you need anything my name is Sakurako, so just call me." She placed her hand on my shoulder in a flirtatious style before she left.
If I had the Death Note on me, I would have opened it up and would have written her name on it for touching me so freely. The first thing I would need to do when I got home is burn my clothing.
I turned to look at my companion who was already on the second plate. "Are you enjoying it?" The question was rhetorical, but it demanded an answer.
"Yes. It's delicious. Why didn't you order yourself one?" Ryuzaki enquired as he shoved a strawberry off towards the side to save for later.
"Well, I did, but it would seem you are already taste testing it." I wouldn't eat that crap if my life depended on it. However, I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, I reached over and grabbed the strawberry that was off to the side and took a small bite out of it.
I could hear his mind calculating how my percentage of Kira rose 0.3 percent because of the stunt I just pulled. His dejected and horrified look almost made me cackle. It was priceless. I placed the half-eaten fruit on the side of my saucer as I added a creamer to the coffee.
As I had predicted, Ryuzaki took the eaten strawberry and ate it. I simply rose an eyebrow to his childish antics. See, people were predictable once you knew the path. "I do believe that was mine." I stated as I sipped my coffee.
"It was on my plate." Ryuzaki chided as liquid strawberry started to trail down the side of his mouth. His tongue darted out and tried to lick it up. It was utterly disgusting. I wanted nothing more than to hand him a napkin and wipe his face like I would a baby.
Instead, I sipped my coffee and prayed no one noticed. I was already used to his horrid posture and iron clad stomach for sweets. But everything he did made me hate him more. The coffee at the shop was strong and I needed to add a creamer to remove some of the harsh bitter bean flavor. I kept taking tiny, child-like sips from the cup. I needed to add a single cube to my coffee, but I knew to wait.
Ryuzaki's behavior was predictable. The moment he polished off both deserts he took his cup of coffee and plunked several cubes into his cup and took the liberty to toss a few into mine.
I scowled at his sheepish grin. Like I said, his moves were predictable. I smirked when I saw a dab of whipped cream from the shortcake on his cheek. I casually reached over and whipped it from his face. He was worse than a little kid when he ate.
What surprised me was when he grabbed my finger and noticed the white glob on my finger. Before I could pull away he stuck my finger in his mouth and sucked off the sugar. My eyes narrowed slightly as he sucked for a few seconds longer than necessary.
It was almost as if he was tempting me. I was sickened by it. I wouldn't let him win. Not this once. "Was that necessary?" I asked as I gently pulled my finger away. Before he could respond I stuck said finger in my own mouth and properly cleaned it off. "That was good." My lips turned slightly upward in a playful manner only reinforcing the seductive tone of my voice. "Perhaps I should've ordered an extra one."
I watched as his eyes widened. I would need a bottle of disinfectant and a rather large bottle of Listerine to destroy his cells that were lingering in my mouth. I won this round. I hid my smirk behind my cup and took a sip.
It was sweet, but not as sweet as the bitter-sweet victory I had just scored for myself. "So what is it you needed to talk to me about?"
"Oh that. I just wanted to know what kinds of deserts I should serve as lunch for our meeting on Saturday."
"Ryuzaki, I think people would appreciate real food instead of sugar. Older men should worry about getting a well balanced meal and not the unnecessary empty calories that sugar offers."
"Sugar isn't empty, it's chalk full of energy and goodness."
I had the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose. I somehow managed to hold myself back. My self-restraint was my pride, and it wouldn't fail me now. "Not everyone can digest sugar like you can. Not everyone likes sugar as you do."
Ryuzaki contemplated what I was saying as the waitress came back to refill our mugs. I managed to smile pleasantly and she managed not to spill coffee everywhere. I noticed Ryuzaki was trying to ask her for another dish of some sort. She was about to leave and poor Ryuzaki would have been sugarless this time around too.
Instead, I was the better person and stopped her. "Sakurako, would you perchance happen to have any of the Belgium whipped chocolate tarts left?"
"All we have are three of the white chocolates with strawberry tops."
I smiled and leaned forward giving her a false sense of security. "Could I possibly get the last three?" I added with a hint of too much sweetness. For some reason it always worked on the females. She blushed and hurried off to get what I requested.
"That wasn't very nice Raito-kun."
I sat back and gave him a tiny smile. "Would you have rather sat here while someone else ate the tarts?"
Ryuzaki nibbled on his thumb for a moment contemplating the choices he had. "No, I don't think I would."
"Then don't complain Ryuzaki-kun." I took another sip from the fresh coffee. It could use another creamer, but there was just a hint of sugar. This time I wouldn't let the fiend across from me toss in a lump or seven.
The deserts arrived and he popped one into his mouth. I half wondered how big his mouth really was. Then again I could say that a) I already knew and b) I didn't really care. I had full intention of eating one; I mean I did order three. I was civilized and used a fork. I hated getting my hands dirty.
I was just reaching over when Ryuzaki used his own fork, but not to grab the tart, it was to stab me in the hand in preventing me from getting the tart. I had had enough. I wasn't about to put up with this any longer.
"I assume you're paying this time again?"
"But I paid last time and you said the next time was your turn."
"I would have paid had someone not tried to stab me in the hand with a fork." I replied smoothly.
"If you want you can have this," Ryuzaki said with his mouth full only to open his mouth widely and showed me what a half eaten tort looked like. I thought I was going to lose whatever I had eaten for lunch. How undignified.
"I thank you for the offer, but maybe next time." I supplied before leaving. I was officially sickened to my very core. Ryuk was chuckling the entire way home. I would see him suffer too by withholding his required daily apple. I wasn't about to be the only one that would suffer.
On second thought, not giving the god of death his apple would slowly cause me to go insane. Ryuk was getting his apple. I could always punish him later. But first there was this insatiable urge to get clean. No one was home yet, which was nice. I went into my room and gathered a change of clothing.
This set would be burned. I was just ready to head into the bathroom when my cell phone went off. It was Ryuzaki wanting to know if I could stop by the hotel suite.
"Is it important or can I finish what I was starting?" I leaned against the entryway to the bathroom.
"It is urgent, but I guess you could wait until you are finished." His voice trailed off. "How long will you be?"
"I guess it all depends."
"Depends on what?" I could hear his voice rise as his anxiety filled my ear drum.
I smirked and walked into the bathroom. I was about to get clean anyway so everything I said in the next few moment would run off of me with some soap and warm water. "I was about to step into a shower. I could always wait a few extra minutes if you wanted to come by and help me out." I suggested seductively.
Inside I wanted to retch and scrub my skin raw. The goose bumps on my skin crawled along my skin as I was sickened by my own mouth. "I'll see you when you get here." The phone on his end hung up.
I took this moment to laugh, the kind of laugh that could chill you to the core. It was vile and disgusting but after the café incident today, he wasn't about to get off scot-free. I do believe that this was another point for me.
I took my time making sure that every inch of my body was rid of the scum that dared to place their filthy hand on me. They had no right to touch perfection. Didn't they know I was out of their league? I guess that's why they took their cheap thrill when they did.
It felt good to be clean again, I was finally able to breathe. I took my sweet time dressing; whatever Ryuzaki wanted could wait. If it was terribly important he would have told me it was urgent and my shower could wait. He was utterly predictable, and it was because he was merely human.
The walk over to the hotel suite was leisurely and brisk. I had taken my time drying my hair and tying up some new leads in the Death Note. It was my duty to see that my justice prevailed and nothing would stop me in my quest.
I walked past the front desk and pressed the elevator button. The car came to the main floor and the electronic doors opened. I made my way into it and pressed the button that would lead me to headquarters. It's not surprising to get a call from L the moment I step out of his sight. It's like what Sun-tzu said, 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.'
This was the game we played.
The only thing left unclear was how close did enemies have to be? I didn't care, so long as my means to an end was my satisfactory means to an end.
I gave the customary knock. It was childish to knock, and I felt like a fool for doing it. It wasn't my idea. It was L's, and he was a paranoid freak. I smirked inwardly, realizing it was probably my fault for pushing him over the deep end, but that was half the fun. The real fun was watching the enraged look of fury and fear in his eyes as Kira struck again, and again, and again with no stopping.
That was priceless. I could watch that look for hours without getting bored. Just knowing I caused that look was enough to keep up with the pathetic charade. I bit my bottom lip as those eyes flashed in my mind. It was bittersweet, just the way I liked it.
I was able to regain my composure the moment the lock clicked and the door opened. L's dirty jeans and white shirt remained constant no matter the time or the day. It made me slightly wonder if he owned anything other than the clothes on his back. But then again, I would have to care and at this moment I couldn't care less.
He stepped back and I entered and allowed him to close the door behind me. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he looked through the peephole to see if I was followed. "I'm not stupid enough to have someone follow me." I stated blankly.
"I never said you were." He stated and continued to look. He remained that way until he was reassured that the coast was clear and he took a seat on the overstuffed white leather chair.
"Where is everyone?" I asked as I realized that there was no inessential chatter making my mind bleed. It was actually a pleasant respite.
"They went home." Ryuzaki commented as he picked up a piece of data with his index finger and thumb and analyzed the data.
"Oh," I started as I removed my jacket and draped it on the back of the couch. "Then what was so important that you needed to see me urgently?" I asked as I made myself comfortable on the couch.
"Oh, I forgot. It must not have been that important anyway." He stated after a few moments of silence. I picked up a folder containing the latest victim and read the file as L kept watching me from the corner of his eyes. I schooled my features and continued to read despite the heavy silence that developed between us.
"Is something wrong?" I pretended to look concerned as I raised my head from the pile of papers I was emerged in.
"What is your opinion?" He slightly nodded towards the case file I was holding. Then again it could have been a twitch of his muscles as he leaned over and grabbed some sugared confectionary and plopped it in his mouth. Disgusting.
"Well, he was a politician who kidnapped young teenagers and used them as his personal sex slaves. I'm surprised that he was able to buy his way off. Had this been Sayu, I would have killed him myself. I'm surprised no one got to him before Kira did. And before you start, let me restate that no one harms my family and lives." My eyes drew to a slight slit.
"That sounds like a bold threat." His eyes widened slightly as he took in my deadly serious expression.
I shrugged, "Merely a statement of facts." I ignored L and continued on my research of data. I moved from the hard copy to the electronic data. The small light and the slight hum of the hard drive felt more familiar than the cool pieces of paper in my fingers.
My fingers flew over the keys as I searched for new data to reexamine and to verify that I didn't leave a single clue. Everything had to be flawless. Gods were not granted mistakes; they were punished for it.
Everything was as it should have been: perfect. I graced myself with a sigh and leaned back in the chair. I tilted my head back and locked eyes with L. He was staring at me with such intensity it almost made me want to see if I had a lock of hair out of place.
"Aren't you going to ask where everyone is?" L shoved a brown sugar filled square in his mouth.
The chair swiveled and I faced him. I crossed my right leg over my left and leaned forward while my right hand supported my chin. "And I suppose you will tell me now since you brought it up and I never asked."
L took a slow sip of his drink and I cringed as I heard his slurping. "They are looking for evidence that will link you to Kira."
"Again?" I asked slightly amused. My body language remained as it was before the question was asked. It was calm and disarming. Also, I was used to the accusations by now.
"Not again, I always thought you were Kira."
I gave a half snort. "So what am I up to today, 4.6 percent?"
"4.8," Was his immediate reply. This meant he had been calculating my percentage while I was researching data. It was sweet how he would think of me. I gave a grin and ran my fingers through my hair.
I stood from my seat and stalked my way over towards him. I was now standing in front of him and stared into his dark abyss-like eyes. "Would you be happy if I was?" My eyes mirrored his own.
His thumb was jammed into his mouth as he pondered an answer. "I don't know."
"I think you would be happy, or at least satisfied. The great detective L solved another case, another badge of honor to be displayed, and could tell the world he best the greatest criminal of all time." I leaned a little closer invading his personal space. A personal faux pas on my account, but I gave myself a little leeway.
"Of course not! Kira isn't the greatest criminal of all time." His eyes shown with brilliance and conviction; the thought of dulling them made my toes curl and my insides shake with anticipation.
I refused to go for the bait. Had I did, I would have hung myself on the lure he was using to fish me into a confession. "Why not? He has bested the great and power L who is powerless to stop him. Just admit it Ryuzaki, your pride is the only thing that's taking a toll and that's why you're pushing for me to be Kira. Then everything is wrapped in a nice little package for you to present to the world."
I watched as his thumb biting became more rigorous as he thought of his next move.
I liked seeing him backed into a corner with no way to fight. "Would you prefer that I admit that I am Kira? Would that make you happy?"
"Very well then Ryuzaki," I smirked, "I am Kira."
"Then prove it."
"That's what I'm trying to do." He bit the edges of his thumb with more fury as his mind ran.
I loved watching everything Ryuzaki—L, whatever he called himself—build up only to bear witness to it crumbling down around him. "And as you do, more people are being killed off by him; as I am being surrounded and watched by you. How can I possibly do anything without you being there to watch me make my every move?" I enunciated the last part and licked my lips slightly as his form silently began to shake.
"I don't know. That's what I'm trying to prove." His eyes burned with a strong desire to see me, Kira, fall.
Tilting my head off slightly to the side I asked, "If I was Kira, why would I be helping you out? Why wouldn't I just kill you all considering I know your names?"
"You don't know mine." L stated positively and reassuringly.
"Even if I did, I wouldn't want you dead." I leaned in closer, close enough to feel his hot breath exhale from his lips. I could taste the sugar seeping out from his breath and invade my mouth. This was all for the greater good. I wanted to see out what I started. I had to. "You're much more entertaining alive than dead, my friend." I wanted to gag on my own words, but my pride stopped me. The sincerity that rolled off my tongue surprised not only him but myself. Again, my features were schooled into perfection.
"Am I really your friend?" His eyes darted back and forth trying to search out the hidden truth.
"Of course you are." I lied easily. "If you weren't I would have stopped you from staring at me long time ago." I watched as he stirred in his seat uneasily shifting foot to foot.
"How long have you known?"
"Since the beginning."
"Then why didn't you say something?" His voice hitched and his eyes widened before sliding down into cool calculating slits.
"I thought you liked to watch. But Ryuzaki, is that all you can do?" I knew I was playing in hot water—almost boiling, but hell, it was fun to see the powerless L struggle for an ounce of control.
Something snapped inside of L and I found it strangely amusing and highly informative. "Since I couldn't be there when you took your shower, how about I see for myself how well you cleaned?" He stated with a glimmer in his eyes as he moved in for the kill.
I lost this round, but it would be amusing to see how far he would go a small win. After all, I could always take another shower when this was done.