My Knight in Shining Armor

Draco Malfoy was having a great day. The best day he had had in weeks – in fact, maybe even months. The wardrobe was coming along brilliantly; today, after an hour and a half's hard work – not to mention a whole bloody year's – he had finally been able to faintly hear Borgin's oily voice trying to persuade a customer to make a purchase. He still wasn't positive that the wardrobe was fixed, but he wasn't going to try to travel through it yet. He wasn't that stupid. Entertaining the merits of making Crabbe or Goyle try it for him (after all, they had agreed to take Polyjuice Potion and become the mirror images of his young, girly cousins multiple times, what would stop them now?), he walked haughtily down the hallway, missing the blond girl wearing radishes for earrings, who was standing by a window.

"Hello, Draco Malfoy. Did you lose your bodyguards? You don't normally walk around Hogwarts by yourself."

Draco stopped short and turned around to face his addressee. "Excuse me? I don't think you know who you are talking to."

"Of course I do. You're Draco Malfoy. Everyone knows that you're one of the boys whose father is in Azkaban."

Ah. Now Draco knew exactly who she was. "You're that mad Ravenclaw girl – Loony Lovegood – the one that hangs around that Weasley slut and Potty. You're one of them – you helped put my father in Azkaban!" Draco reached into his robes and grasped his wand, anger and hatred coursing through his veins like ice. How dare she even speak to him, when she was one of the bastards that practically put him in the position he was in?

"I don't think Ginny would appreciate you calling her that."

"Why the hell should I care what that Mudblood lover thinks? Besides, the whole school knows she's one anyway." He should just hex Loony now, Memory Charm her, and beat it. No one would ever be the wiser.

"You really shouldn't use such language, it makes the nargles irritable. When they get angry enough, they settle inside your nostrils and make you crave only black pudding. You should be glad it's almost summer, there aren't very many in the castle right now."

For the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy was speechless. His anger forgotten, he simply stared at her for he didn't know how long, his jaw slightly hanging open. A large part of him knew he would be better off if he just walked away right now and continued on down to the Slytherin common room, a small, tinny voice inside his head that he had never heard before was suddenly urging him to laugh, and to possibly stay to hear what else this insane girl had to say.

"Oh no, a Wrackspurt's got you, hasn't it? They're quite rampant here at Hogwarts."

Draco shook his head slightly, as though to clear it. "Pardon me?"

"A Wrackspurt. Surely you've heard of them. They're invisible, and they hover around until they can get into your head through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy." And just when Draco didn't think the conversation could get any weirder, Loony began flapping her hands at absolutely nothing, as though she were shooing off flies.

Draco opened and closed his mouth several times in succession, but didn't make a sound.

"Harry Potter doesn't like you very much."

Draco's confusion was immediately forgotten. The hate was back, and stronger than ever, threatening to take over his very mind. "No, I'd imagine he doesn't," Draco ground out furiously through clenched teeth. "Trust me, the feeling's more than mutual. If the Dark Lord doesn't kill him first, then I'm going to do it as soon as I can."

"He really was sorry about hurting you, though. Maybe you two can still be friends."

Draco once again found himself staring openmouthed at Loony again. With great effort, he closed his gaping mouth. "Yeah, I'm sure Potter's really regretting getting detention for nearly killing me," he said sarcastically. He didn't voice his fear that Potter had told anyone about the state he had been found in prior to the incident – rumors about his crying and getting sympathy from Moaning Myrtle weren't exactly going to help build his reputation as a brutal Death Eater. He hadn't heard anything of the sort yet, but then again, he had also spent the majority of his time either in the Room of Requirement or behind the curtains of his four-poster bed, thinking and plotting Dumbledore's murder – by him. But he wasn't going to think about that. He knew what he had to do for his mother and father – his family.

"You're very brave. More people would be able to see that if you weren't so greedy for power and glory, especially for yourself."

Draco had had enough. She didn't know him. Besides, he knew that this year he had been anything but greedy for his own benefit. "Whatever," he muttered. "I'm off. Good riddance." He turned around and started walking away.

"But I haven't asked you if you would like to be my knight in shining armor yet."

Draco spun around. "Excuse me?" He seriously debated telling her under no certain terms would he ever be her 'knight in shining armor,' which would also include a plethora of swear words that would send her damn nargles scurrying for noses across Hogwarts. Trying not to picture that image, he simply stayed silent.

"You see, I've been collecting various bits of metal pieces and foils and whatnot, so that I can construct a suit of armor that will guard the school from Racky Tabsnackles. Oh, and I thought I could take a picture of you wearing it; Daddy wants to begin adding more artwork to The Quibbler. I think you'd look quite handsome."

Gobsmacked once again, Draco vaguely recalled Theodore Nott telling him last week that the mad blond Ravenclaw had randomly come up to him in the middle of a corridor and asked him if he had any aluminum foil (apparently it was some Muggle thing) that she could borrow. He hadn't been in the mood for conversating that day; it had been a bad week.

"I can see you need time to think about it. Just let me know your decision as soon as possible." She came up entirely too close to him and patted him on the arm. "I think you'd be perfect for the job, though." And with a vacant smile, those clear blue eyes twinkling brightly in the afternoon sunlight streaming through the nearby window, Loony Luna Lovegood turned around and walked away.

A/N: This was just an extremely random, and yes, bizarre thought I had yesterday. But yet - can't you see it? Or something of the sort. I hope you found it somewhat entertaining, anyway. I'd love some constructive criticism, especially on their characters, this is the first time I've ever written Draco in such detail, or Luna at all. Thanks. :-)