Warnings: PURE CRACK. Mystshipping, and Liberashipping (yaoi and yuri, folks!). And most likely some OOC (at first I was careful about IC, but then somehow, it just got silly…)
This was written in a very short amount of time… and on a second extension too (as it is for a contest). I'm horrible, I know. But I'm glad that finally, finally, the first semester at school is coming to an end, and I'm almost done all these stupid projects and exams. Wahoo!
Written in about… three hours. Yes, it's that bad.
Disclaimer: … Yeah. I definitely own it. Right. –snort–
How do you surprise someone who knows what you are going to do before you do it?
This was the question Anzu had been mulling over for almost a month now. She was a big girl now – in fact, she had just turned seventeen a week ago – and she was about to make a big decision. She had been hoping to figure this out on her own, now being the independent woman she was (of course, if Mai had heard her say that, she wouldn't have stopped laughing for weeks).
Which lead her to what she was doing now; namely, asking Yugi for help. If there was anyone she trusted enough to ask a question this personal, it was Yugi. Fortunately for her, his crush on her had slowly disappeared as time moved on. She had been hearing the strangest rumours lately, actually, about him and a certain male Egyptian who had moved back to Japan not too long ago…
They were in the cafeteria, and lunchtime had just started. They were alone at the table at the moment. Honda and Jounouchi had both managed to get themselves a detention for starting a play fight in the library, which had lead to falling bookshelves and mass panic.
Apparently, Honda had asked Jounouchi if he could ask out Shizuka again.
As for Ryou and Ryuuji, they were working on a small project for Biology, and were working in the library – at least, whatever was left of it.
Yugi looked at Anzu, who had been doing nothing for the last five minutes but swirl her straw through her chocolate milk. "You wanted to ask me something?"
"Umm… Yeah, actually," she said, slightly flustered. "I… well… I don't exactly know how to put this… but…" she took a deep breath to calm herself down, "I want to ask someone out, right?"
Yugi nodded, dipping one of his French fries in ketchup.
"And… we've been hanging out a lot lately, right?" Anzu said, feeling a blush spreading over her cheeks. "I don't really know when –" she gestured to her heart, "this started… b-but… I know it's not some silly crush! I know it isn't, but I can't say exactly why - it's this feeling, you know? Because I do!"
When Anzu had caught her breath, she caught sight of the rather disturbed-looking Yugi, who had his arms up in a defensive manner, and Anzu realized that she had raised her voice at some point during her tirade. She sheepishly lowered her head. "Sorry about that."
"That's fine," Yugi said. He leaned back slightly in his seat, remind Anzu strongly of the pose a psychiatrist would take when speaking to a particularly interesting patient. "You're outgoing, you wouldn't have trouble asking the guy out. So what's the problem?"
This was where Anzu hesitated. Would Yugi really be able to help her with this problem? Sure, he would laugh at her, and sure, if he didn't know, he could always ask his other self… Not that she wanted him involved. How embarrassing it would be to involve him in her petty problems when he had so much more on his plate!
If Anzu weren't so desperate, she wouldn't have considered it. But she was, therefore she did.
"I want to ask them out. Romantically. But the problem is… how can I surprise them, if they already know what I'm planning to do before I even do it?"
Yugi, who had been taking a sip of his apple juice, promptly spit it out all over the table. Anzu yelped, reflexively pushing her and her chair back, and accidentally knocking over a senior. The said senior's tray flipped and emptied itself on another senior's head, and a heated argument erupted, but neither Anzu nor Yugi cared.
Yugi's eyes were bulging. "YOU WANT TO DATE PEGASUS?!"
It took a moment for Anzu to register what he had just said, and another full minute to stop screaming. By that time, teachers had flocked over (thinking that the scream had come from the fistfight at the other table) and were escorting people to detention.
"No! Gods, no!" she whispered hoarsely (her voice had given out – she hadn't screamed like that in a good long time). "I meant Isis Ishtar! N-Not him!"
Yugi clutched his heart dramatically. "Don't scare me like that, Anzu!" And then suddenly, it hit him. "Isis? As in a girl, Isis?"
"Yes," Anzu said, giving him a stony glare that screamed 'I dare you to say something about it', and Yugi flinched slightly. "Problem?"
"No! I never said that!" said Yugi quickly, and then suddenly frowned. "So… you were lesbian this whole time? Even when I had that crush on you?"
"Well… not until Mai came along, actually…"
"Stupid Mai and her stupid clothing… or lack of…" Yugi grumbled.
"You were the one drooling all over her."
Anzu grinned and stuck her tongue out at him, "Oh yes you were."
By this time, Yugi's cheeks were bright red. "L-Let's get back on subject, here! You want something romantic for Isis, right?"
"Something that will blow her out of the water?"
Yugi gave her a mischievous smile. "I," he declared, "have the perfect plan for you."
Anzu, blue eyes shining with hope and love and many other emotions that shall remain nameless, clasped her hands together, as the teachers behind her struggled to drag away a particularly rebellious student, who had managed to knock out one teacher already. It seemed that math would be cancelled that afternoon.
Yugi whipped a notepad out of his backpack and began scribbling down his ingenious plan, pausing only once or twice to stretch out his hand. He then pushed the notepad to Anzu, who blinked down at his pathetic excuse of handwriting.
"If you can read that," Yugi said proudly, "you will realize that I have given you the most romantic idea ever!"
Anzu squinted down at it. "I think I can make out one or two words… Tell you what, I'll decipher it during class."
Yugi nodded, apparently satisfied that his plan had been accepted. "You'll thank me for it later, trust me. Besides –" Yugi suddenly froze. "Wait a second… if this works… and you marry Isis one day… and I…"
Anzu blinked at him. "What is it?"
Yugi looked back at her and said solemnly, "I may be your brother-in-law one day."
It hit her after a minute. "Oh dear lord…"
There was one flaw in Yugi's plan (or, as the sheet was titled, 'Amazing Romantic Plan that is Guaranteed to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You… Plan'), and that was what Anzu had come to him about in the first place. As soon as the two exited the school, two things immediately became apparent: the graceful looking, dark-skinned woman in a long white dress, decorated with gold, and a blonde boy in cargo pants and a lavender belly-shirt (who was currently beating up some poor kids who had mistaken him for a girl) waiting for the both of them at the bottom of the stairs.
Anzu stood at the top of the steps, her heart aflutter, as the woman glided up the steps (and Anzu swore that she was gliding) towards her. Soon, Isis stood in front of her, the Sennen Tauk gleaming in all of its glory, and she leaned and kissed Anzu's forehead.
The whole world could have exploded and Anzu wouldn't have cared. She was dating the woman of her dreams! And imagine, it was without all the muss and fuss that she had first thought it would – Wait.
Anzu frowned at Isis. "Did you look ahead to see what I was planning?"
Isis, to her credit, managed to look a little sheepish. "I might have taken a little glance ahead, yes…"
Anzu pouted. "H-How could you? Now I'll never get to see your reaction, or know if I did a good job!" she said in an almost whiny voice, barely heard over Yugi's shouts for Malik to 'leave that poor kid alone!'
And Isis simply leaned over and gave Anzu another gentle kiss on the forehead. "I can assure you, it was wonderful."
On another part of the steps, Malik had given up bullying the other students to making out with Yugi, who was obviously using it to distract the boy so the students could escape.
Isis leaned down and kissed Anzu on the lips tenderly, the Tauk around her neck glowing, and murmured, "In three years, five months, and three days, when you propose to me, yes."
Anzu moaned through the kiss (lovingly, of course), "God-damnit…"
And there's your brain-rotting fic of the day. Which also happens to be my first yuri. EVER.
XD Pure crack. I still don't mind a bit of constructive criticism, of course… But yeah.