Disclaimer: If I own anything, it's only my own geeky-ness. Absolutely nothing to do with Teen Titans, though.
A/N: I know, I know. It's been a while. But Draco Blade really is still alive. It's true. I hope this story makes up for my incredible absence. Believe me, it wasn't my idea in the first place. But it's good to be back.
I'M NOT A GEEK!
"By Azar, you are such a geek."
Raven shook her head as he stared into the mess that was Beast Boy's room. Clothes piled everywhere, games and toys thrown about, childish posters drooping off the walls. But even worse than the room itself was the green teen occupying it.
Beast Boy sat on the lower of his bunk beds, his outfit sagging and riddled with crumbs. Bags of chips and dozens of empty Cola cans littered the ground and bed around him. What appeared to be a large carrot stick was jammed in his mouth and he was munching on it furiously. But the real excitement was on the TV screen before him, where he was busy watching as two cars sped at faster and faster speeds. His fingers were moving furiously as he jabbed button after button in a fruitless attempt to defeat his opponent.
Beast Boy looked up at the purple haired girl who was invading his privacy. Well, she wasn't really invading it. He had been too lazy to close his door that evening and had instead left his room wide open for all the room to see.
"Hoo awe you callin a geek?" he said, his mouth full of munched up carrot. He quickly chewed and swallowed the large vegetable and immediately frowned as the words GAME OVER flashed on his TV. "Aw man! Look what you made me do!"
"A crying shame," Raven said, her eyebrow raised.
"Seriously, though," asked Beast Boy, putting full attention on Raven once more. "How am I a geek? And who the heck is Azar?"
"A story for another time perhaps," Raven said, walking into the room, careful to avoid anything that might still be living. "In the meantime I consider a good redecorating. I swear, you would think an eight year old lived in here."
"Hey!" Beast Boy said, jumping on in fury and immediately stopping as a large belch escaped his mouth. He fell back down soon after, unable to get up.
"Sad," said Raven. "Just sad."
"So, what, you came in to tell me I'm a geek?" Beast Boy said.
"Robin was wondering where you were," Raven said. "But I couldn't help myself. I mean . . . you're just such a geek. I figured it was about time someone let you know."
"For the hundredth time . . . How—Am—I—A—Geek?"
"Shall I list the reasons?" Raven asked. Beast Boy nodded furiously. "You're completely unruly. You eat too much. You play video games so much your eyes are bloodshot. You still own every toy you've ever been bought. You're so lazy you forget to even close your door. You can't remember a simple battle tactic, but if anyone were to ask when the next showing of Star Trek was, you could tell them to the second."
"Hey, that show's a masterpiece. Hands off."
"The point is," Raven continued. "You're a geek. And you're gonna have to live with it."
"I'll take your challenge!" Beast Boy said, standing up carefully and completely undramatically this time. Raven raised an eyebrow.
"What challenge? I didn't mean any challenge. Do you need a hearing aid, too? I'm sure that would 'up your cool.'"
"I will prove to you," Beast Boy said, approaching the hot gothic girl, "that I am not a geek in any way shape or form. So there! At the crack of dawn, first thing in the morning, I'll prove it to you!"
Raven smirked. "You're on."
Beast Boy awoke as he felt something collide with his head. Groaning, the young man looked up and wiped a long line of drool from his mouth. He looked up from his uncomfortable mattress to see Raven smirking in his doorway.
"First thing in the morning, huh?" Raven said, enjoying herself. "Looks like someone stayed up all night snacking and playing video games. Just like a true geek."
Beast Boy just groaned at her.
"Better get started Lettuce-Head," said Rae, walking out of the room.
Half an hour later, Beast Boy stumbled out of his room with three slips of paper tucked under his arm. The papers were documents that Beast Boy had written merely minutes ago. If signed, they proved he was not a geek. They read as follows:
By signing the below, you recognize that the Great and Almighty Beast Boy
Is absolutely, positively, definitely, 100 NOT A GEEK
In any way, shape or form.
He has never been a geek; he is not a geek now; and he shall never be one.
Moreover, he is the undisputed King of All Things Cool
And a Totally Awesome Guy.
The Great and Almighty Beast Boy thanks you for your support.
(P.S. Raven's a Jerk)
Beast Boy stopped first at the Control Room, where he was sure Robin would be. He was glad to find that he was, indeed, right. The Boy Wonder was busy typing away at the computer, checking out all the usual crime sites. Thugs-4-Hire. Local-Crime. MySpace. The works.
"You're late, Beast Boy," said Robin without even turning around. "It's a week day. I expect every Titan up at eight o' clock sharp every week day. Crime waits for no one. You have to prepared for everything."
"Yeah, yeah," said Beast Boy, nonchalantly waving away his responsibilities. He shoved one of his papers in Robin's face. "Just sign this and I'll get out of your hair, okay?"
Robin blinked and read the page quickly. "Sorry Beast Boy. Can't."
Beast Boy's jaw dropped. "Can't? Why not?"
"This is a binding contract. You wrote it yourself. It's not true. I can't be held liable for libel. This could, and will possibly, be evidence in a trial-by jury. A court. I can, and will possibly, be called up as a witness to state my sworn testimony in allegiance with this document."
Beast Boy blinked. "I don't get it."
Robin just rolled his eyes impatiently. "It doesn't matter, Beast Boy. I just won't sign it. Sorry."
Beast Boy groaned and left the room. Fine, so one person beside Raven thought he was geek. That was probably gonna be it. Surely Starfire would think otherwise? The green teen ran to Star's room in a flash, knocking on the door as soon as he arrived. Seconds later, Starfire opened.
"For what purpose do you pound upon the entrance to my dormitory?" asked Starfire. "Has it done something bad? Have I?"
Beast Boy blinked again. "Huh? No. I just want you to sign something." He held out the contract.
Starefire read the document closely, her green eyes narrowing as she scanned over every word. Twice. Finally, she held it out and smiled. Beast Boy smiled back, hoping he was going to get a signature.
Imagine his surprise when Starfire fired a green beam of energy out of her eyes, utterly vaporizing the contract.
"AAH! Star! WHY?"
"You misspelled the word 'almighty,'" Starfire said calmly, smiling. "As such, I had to perform the Tameranean ritual of correcting your mistake . . . by destroying the evidence! Is that not what you wished?"
Beast Boy was already gone. Clutching tightly to his very last document, Beast Boy knew there was only one person in the tower that could save him now. His best friend. His muchacho. The man upon whom the fate of his coolness now rested. Surely he could trust him above all else?
Cyborg burst into laughter as soon as he caught sight of the contract.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" cried out the robotic teen. He was doubling over on the floor, clutching his sides below a very irritated Beast Boy. "Almighty . . . Totally Awesome . . . King of All Things Cool . . . man, Raven was right about you, man. You really are a geek."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Beast Boy shouted.
"Well, don't you still own like all of your toys from like . . . ever?"
"And don't you own a toothpick once used by William Shatner?"
"And don't you have a collection of snail shells dating back to 1934?"
"And don't you still watch Star Trek?"
"DUDE! Leave Star Trek out of this!" Beast Boy cried. "Okay, I get it, I might be a little nerdy sometimes. But I am not a geek!"
Cyborg just chuckled and handed back the contract. "I'm sorry man, but I just can't do it. I guess you're going to have to own up to Rae after all."
Beast Boy groaned and headed off. As soon as he was out of eyesight, he could hear Cyborg burst back into hysterics.
"HA! Star Trek!"
Five minutes later, Beast Boy knocked on Raven's door. The purple haired girl answered immediately, smirking her usual smirk.
"I've been waiting for you," Raven said. "So, how did it go? Did you prove you weren't a geek? Did you — mmph!"
Raven never got to finish her statement because Beast Boy interrupted her. By kissing her. He leaned up on his toes and press his lips to hers so quickly that she had hardly a moment to think. After several time-stopping moments, Beast Boy pulled back and grinned.
A very red Raven was left blinking and wondering what happened.
"Gotcha!" Beast Boy said, pointing an accusing finger at her and smirking his Beast Boy grin. "I just kissed a girl! And that, dear Raven, automatically makes me NOT—A—GEEK."
Raven smiled, finally recovering her posture, but the blush on her face was still present. "It seems somebody found a loophole."
"You bet I did! I totally — mmph!"
Beast Boy was interrupted as Raven mimicked his actions, leaning down to kiss the green teen on the lips, silencing him for good. This time, it was his turn to go red when the kiss was over.
"I'm afraid you still lose the beat, Lettuce-Head. One kiss can't erase a lifetime of geeky-ness, I'm afraid."
"But . . . But," stuttered Beast Boy. "You still kissed me."
"That's right, I did," Raven said. She leaned in closer to him. "You wanna know why?"
Beast Boy nodded. Raven leaned in close to his ear and whispered so lightly that Beast Boy could hardly hear her.
"Geeks . . . are totally hot."
Beast Boy immediately beamed. "Dude . . . this is the happiest day of my life."
Raven smirked. Looking around, she grabbed Beast Boy by the shirt and pulled him into her room, closing the door behind her.
"Glad to hear it. Now show me just how good at kissing you geeks can get."
Dedication: To Michelle, my wonderful girlfriend. I love ya, darling! Thanks for letting me be your geek!