AN: This is NOT Naruto fic... this is some personal stuff that I wanted to post, and could not find the time to post anywhere elles, if this can help someone... ANYONE dealing with the same crap I went through, I feel I have done something useful with the pain I have lived through... Thank you

It is so much like cutting…

I want to cut

To bleed

To scream

Others won't

Can't

Don't see this side of me

I won't let them

Because then my problems will become their problems,

And we all know life is fucked up enough as it is

Everybody has their issues

Their own personal hell

I choose to cope

To cope by cutting

Slicing

Gashing my arms until the bright blood flows

Funny, in pain I release my pain

In pain I find peace

Find some semblance of serenity

It is my own personal hell

This dark, deep, damning depression

This depression that runs through me

That is me…

I am the pain and the pain is me

I take it in

Absorb it

Relish it

As it takes my pain

Absorbs it

Relives it

I don't want to cut…

Yet it is my release

My peace

My serenity

Recently I have found other… ways

Ways of coping, of dealing with this

This… darkness that claims me

Takes me as its own

Writing, so much like cutting

Raging, sobbing

Grieving and baring my soul

My self

To this paper

To this small, damning, saving release

It frees me, saves me from myself

From what I did

From what I could still do

Writing is my release now

My way of freeing myself from pain

I pour all my thoughts, angers, frustrations, fears

My tears and blood

Into the paper

Into my muse

It washes them away, releasing them in this way

Writing is my new release

Writing is so much like cutting…