Hi everyone! Welcome to chapter three! Well, hopefully this one is under that year time slot that we seem to have created for our chapters…crappy time to wait I say, but meh. Thanks to all those who reviewed and sorry to those who couldn't cause they'd already reviewed with support on the whole not writing thing, that was totally my fault, I apologize.
So, me and my Hikari are together again for the Easter holidays, which are technically not the Easter holidays since Easter was last month, but meh. You get a story, so yay! X3
Now without further ado, onwards to- LEATHER AND THE GOLDEN SAUCER!!


"There is no hope for you; this time, I will defeat you!"

"Dream on you limey fruitcake." Muttered Roxas, punching the buttons of his controller somewhat viciously. And for what? So Yami can smirk his victory smirk and go bonk Yuugi at the end of the game, that's what. It was so stereotypical of a game; the hero beats the bad guy and goes off to have fun sex with the nearest moving object, aka, the "loves of their lives", whoever they may be at the time.

Seriously, what was the fun behind these games? You made some stupid sprite happy by wasting 72 hours of your life defeating the big baddie who's trying to destroy their happy little world and repetitively saving their dumbass girlfriend/uke/seme. Then you spend the next 24 hours staring at the ceiling wishing you were the awesome hero, and your sweet little twin brother was the dumbass girlfriend/uke/seme.

Throwing the controller on the ground, Roxas glared at the victory screen and decided that he really hated YuGiOh, especially War of the Roses. It was most definitely the biggest waste of 72 hours he had ever had.

…Why had he just beaten it for the seventh time?

Oh yeah, he remembered; because it was sunday and he had nothing better to do… well, not until '30 Days of Night' came out at the cinemas, or they made a mind warpingly gory video game version with the same stereotypical storyline that accompanies every video game, anyway.

In the meantime he resigned himself to starring at the cream ceiling of the living room, well it wasn't really cream anymore not after a short decade with his family, still the house was virtually empty and void of any interesting pass times.

Riku had stumbled in a while ago loaded with shopping goods (Roxas briefly wondered if there was a 'Jerks R Us' in Twilight Town) and barricaded himself in his room in an almost Roxas like fashion, though without the Linkin Park tracks blaring down the stairs, he really lost the effect in the dismount.

He sighed loudly. He could go ask Riku what was wrong; fulfilling the brotherly duty of countless centuries, or he could play 'Zelda; Twilight Princess'.

Need one say more?


"No" Sephiroth glared at the road ahead of him, not even daring to glance at his spouse in the seat beside him for fear of falling for the 'kicked Mako-eyed puppy pout of doom™'. Cloud sighed irritably, opening his mouth to try again.


"No, that place is a vile money grubbing hellhole. Run by equally vile men, and carried out by ridiculous greedy pimply faced teenagers… in Chocobo suits…." His grip on the steering wheel increased significantly, his knuckles turning white from the pressure.

"You forgot the alcohol."

"Ah yes, that too, and the gambling. A virtual gold mine of character destroying neon lights to expose our impressionable children to!" He said in an overly perky voice, recalling every single conversation he and Zack had ever had upon the subject.

"They're not six any more Seph," Cloud reminded him, placing a hand on his shoulder and once more resuming his 'KM-ePPOD™'.

"Besides, we took them there when they were six anyway, remember?"

"…" Sephiroth twitched.

"…As much as your support is appreciated, Zack, when the hell did you get into our car?" If situations like this weren't such common place Cloud would probably be slightly concerned. As it was, being friends with Zack had taught him a very important lesson; for the immeasurably sugar high, anything is possible.

"I have a copy of your car keys; I fell asleep in here after lunch so the guys from accounting couldn't find me. But that's not the point! The point is; we'll have a great time!!" Zack said enthusiastically, reclining in the back seat like the porn star he wished he was. He almost regretted allowing Sephiroth to cheat him through the rest of high school.

"If you give me the copies of my keys, and promise never to use my car as a place to hide from any form of government official ever again, then yes, we can go." Sephiroth said finally, risking a glance at the back seat and rolling his eyes as he caught a glimpse of Zack making out with his hand again. Thank god he'd dragged him through high school… though considering where they worked now; maybe he should've let him follow his dreams as an adult film star.

"I knew you'd see it my way!!"

"…He's your best friend, remember?"

"The day I met him was the day God punished me for every sin I ever had, and have, committed" Sephiroth stated blandly, though Cloud could tell, on the inside, he wept.

"Well memory lane aside, let's go pick up the little balls of corruptible sunshine!" Zack said, finally finished with his hand and wiping trails of goo over the back of Cloud's seat. Cloud's eye twitched perceptibly. Zack was so lucky he loved him.

"…I fear for my children's sanity." Sephiroth murmured quietly to himself.

"Except Sora's." Cloud said, butting into the personal reflection.

"Yes, well. He's a lost cause." Cloud frowned.

"Sephiroth; you will not refer to any of our children as a lost cause."

"I never said it was a bad thing." He smirked.


And yet here they were; Sephiroth couldn't count the amount of times Sora had shocked and horrified both his loving parents. That time he tried to jumped out the second story window, riding a broom. The day he brought a jellyfish home and asked if he could keep it. The day the school rang and told them to come pick up their hysterical child, who apparently was suffering sugar withdrawal after trading his candy for some bumper stickers, for, he explained, a car he had yet to own.

This one certainly took the cake though.

"So ya! Uncle Reno said I could work in his store and I could have all the outfits I wanted and that he'd help me pick out my first one and so he DID and when I was walking home this lady walked into a pole cause she was too busy staring at me and I think I gave Mr. Beast a heart attack…isn't it great?!" Explained his innocent, innocent little boy.

…The Red Haired Sex Demon had struck the Crescent family once again…

As Sephiroth looked over his leather clad child, wiggling from side to side in a pair of combat boots, tight leather jeans, almost see through singlet top, and star studded collar…all in black, he had to admit that Reno had done a pretty thorough job.

Which was good, because that's exactly what Sephiroth intended to do to him. Him and his little "friend"…


Roxas, as far as he could tell, had either died of shock or was in some sort of coma…had Cloud not fainted into his arms shortly after stepping through the doorway, Sephiroth probably would've shaken the non responsive child until he figured out which it was. Riku, on the other hand, was pressed up against a wall, keeping a safe several meters between himself and his youngest brother.

His young, very innocent, very manipulated brother.

Sephiroth sent a sidelong glance his silver haired child's way, only to receive one in return. It reassured him that Riku was thinking the same thing he was; someone was going to lose their balls over this.

Now the hard part. While disemboweling Reno would prove slightly difficult at short range with his seven foot sword the real challenge was explaining to his over excited son that No he was not going to work at Reno's store of foul minded pervetedness and scandal three to four days a week.

"…I think I just had a really bad dream…" Cloud sighed weakly, his eyes fluttering open so he could stare up at his husband's face.

"Was it about Sora being dressed up like a hooker and wanting to work at a porn shop?"


"Welcome to your life, honey."

"Reno is so dead" muttered Zack, surveying Sora closely, grinning at the thought of Sephiroth's blind fury unleashed upon suburbia (And someone other then him to boot!). Of course, before his parents convinced him to change into anything else, he did have one little thing to do…



"ZACK, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Screeched varying members of the high strung family, panicking like the good little boys he knew they were. Grinning like a maniac, he quickly pocketed his phone and high tailed it out the kitchen window, extreme perhaps but not truly that ridiculous when so close to Sephiroth in a bad mood.

"I'LL BE WAITING IN THE CAR!!'" He sing songed, the sweetness in his voice ruined by the following evil cackle. There was silence in the house as everyone stared at each other, only to be shattered by Roxas' dazed voice.

"Um… so, whaddo we do now?" Years of military training were called upon to regain some semblance of composure as Sephiroth began barking orders.

"Cloud, go pack over night bags. Sora, go get changed. Roxas, help your mother! And you," He said, motioning his head towards Riku. "Grab that metal baseball bat out of your closet and follow me…"

He paused.

"And I suppose someone ought to call Leon to have him meet us at the Golden Saucer."

"We're going to the Golden Saucer?!" Squealed Sora loudly.

"Changed. Now."

Struggling to maintain a serious face, Sora saluted, grinned manically, and skipped off. Riku blinked, gulping loudly.

"I might go call Leon"

Sephiroth rubbed his chin thoughtfully; maybe it was better if he didn't scar his children further by impaling their uncle on blunt objects before them…

"I'll be back soon…" He said, and it was with no small amount of childish glee that he dismounted masume off its plaque on the wall, and strode out of the house. Beeps were heard as Sephiroth activated the child locks on the car, followed by howls of indignant fury and despair from Zack.

Cloud and Roxas stared wordlessly at the open door as the sound of squealing tires filled the night.

"…Are we going to have to move again?" Roxas asked.

"Maybe sweetheart; we'll see how many innocents get in the way this time." Cloud said, rubbing his face tiredly. "Let's go pack the bags."

"Sounds good."


"Around twenty minutes away from Twilight Town, there lies a great secret, known throughout all the world…"

"…That doesn't even make sense." Grumbled Roxas.

"Shh! I'm narrating!! Anyway… known throughout all the world. People came in hoards to see its glory; many vanished, others left after losing everything they owned."

"Were they filthy drunkards, Uncle Zack?"

"Of course they were Sor-Sor! But the reason they tried so hard, the reason all entered without fear of humiliation and poverty, was because-"

"They could get piss drunk and make a shitload of money at the same time!!" Sora shouted enthusiastically, punching the roof of the car.

"…Zack!! How many times have I told you not to tell them this story!?"

"But I've never told it before!" Zack argued, pouting childishly.

"You've told us like fifty times in the past ten minutes!" Riku snapped, utterly fed up with being stuck in the back of the car with Roxas, watching Sora wriggle enthusiastically in his pleasantly almost see-through black shirt, which he had refused to take off.

"Kids today…Just don't appreciate a good story, the classic pleasures of childhood, their uncle's efforts to make sure they grow up well balanced and competent poker players!"



"I can be a poker player!?"

"No you can't! Zack, if you want to talk about stories why don't you talk about books? Non-graphical books!!" Riku quickly turned white at the suggestion, whilst Roxas stared at him curiously. With a casual shrug, he smiled sweetly at his older brother and opened his mouth.

"I think Riku must've been reading something interesting, why don't you entertain us Big Brother?"

Riku glared across the back seat.

"If it will shut up Zack, go for it" snapped Sephiroth.

"…I've been reading this new series I picked up at the bookstore today. We're all in it."

"That's nice," said Sephiroth absentmindedly, before recoiling violently and almost sending the family car into a truck. "Wait, what?"

"It's this series, called Kingdom Hearts." Riku said, keeping his voice neutral as not to show his fear of being belted by the recently strapped to the roof of the car masume. "Sora and I are main characters and Kairi too, and Roxas comes into the second book, and you and mom are in both of them as side characters. Apparently there's another series called Final Fantasy by the same author; I looked it up and you guys are main characters, I think."

Sephiroth frowned.

"Are you sure it's not just a coincidence Riku? Sora's a common name in some places."

"It's not, I'm serious, it's really creepy."

"I dunno, sounds like coincidence to me!" Said Zack, ruffling Sora's hair playfully and beaming when he squealed.

"You're just trying to mess with us," sighed Roxas, reaching into his pocket for his ipod dismissively.

"We're here guys" announced Cloud, gazing out his window calmly.

"Oh yeah, tell me sooner." Sighed Roxas, shoving the recently appearing ipod back into the black hole known as his pocket.


The Golden Saucer was, for the better part, just another theme park with gambling and rollercoaster's like everywhere else. The bad thing was; here in the Golden Saucer you couldn't just go on the rides or in the tournaments, nope, you had to spend money on games and earn enough 'GP' from those games to take the rides.

Roxas thought it sucked, personally, but one thing that always ensured maximum participation from the brother's was their childish dream of riding the Golden Saucer shooter rollercoaster.

A dream Sora would never give up. Not until his urges had been satisfied. It was also a dream that Riku and Roxas has competed over since age six, considering the fact that Sora was always immensely grateful to whichever brother gave him the GP to ride said rollercoaster. Grateful enough, that he would thoroughly tackle and even kiss the winner of this wondrous, oh so worth it brotherly tradition.

Over the years, Riku and Roxas had turned it into an art form. An art form that saw Wonder Square of the Golden Saucer theme park turned into a battleground of epic proportions.

Now these games, these games were worth it. The many, many times that Roxas had beaten Riku at this wonderful event (being an obsessive gamer paid off) the mere look on Sora's face had been worth it. But the crushing hugs, the kiss on the cheek, the desperately whispered "I love you!!" were trophies that plagued his wet dreams for hours…

Though all this did not for one second mean that the games at the Golden Saucer arcade in Wonder Park were easy, or normal, or fun. Oh no. These were the kind of games Sephiroth sentenced grunts aka, young children, to on Sunday mornings after you got a bad report card.

The games at the Golden Saucer were three things; over priced, difficult and really really boring. The 3D fighter game? Difficult for miniscule amounts of GP. The Snow Boarding challenge? Difficult, and all the road kill Moogles in the world didn't mean squat when it earned you zilch GP. The Submarine? You had to be a blind contortionist with ESP to win that. That retarded flying Moogle thing? Creepy enough to make an eight year old Roxas cry. All and all, those and many more games which stood proudly in the Golden Saucer were complete rip offs.

No wonder it took them two hours to win 10 GP. Two hours and several nasty glares from Sephiroth when he found out they'd spent 5000 in two hours.

Roxas reasoned it would be worth it in the end, but…After said two hours of wild teenage frenzy only his and Riku's combined winnings could earn Sora a ride on the prized Rollercoaster. This time neither of them gained bragging rights for the next year, but still there remained one hurdle which could win some ego; Who Sora would thank.

"Omigosh there it is there it is there it is!! The ultimate adventure, the best ride in whole damn world, my one and only wet dream come to li- OH MY GOD!! MAN IN CHOCOBO SUIT!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!"

And with that, all Roxas' (and he supposed, Riku's as well) dreams came crashing down, faster than Masume into Reno's head.

So, that night, as Sora laid snuggled between him and Riku in the queen sized bed, as Riku snored softly and Sora's hand clasped his own even in sleep, Roxas thought about how perverted he must be to want hugs from his younger brother to get off on, and cried.

The hours merged with a blur of tears, and the next thing he knew, he was staring at the window, listening in partial interest as a surprisingly living Reno went past with Jack and Will of the Port Royale eat in and take away restaurant, singing a bawdy drunken sonnet, and Roxas realized…

"Reno the Turk I am I am, RENO THE TURK I AM!! I got married to the whore next door; she's been married SEVEN TIMES BEFORE!!"

He could be soooooo much worse.


Twilight Town wasn't a huge place and not surprisingly every kid whose parents worked for ShinRa usually came from one part of town. The company provided housing was situated in two sprawling suburbs and therefore the majority of teenagers Roxas, Sora and Riku knew personally came to school every day on one of two buses.

Roxas had gone through the last few years of high school in a similar, almost identical, routine. He would wake up, carry out the normal preparations before he and his brothers caught the bus to school with the rest of the student body. This morning he stood, outside the gates, with his brothers where they'd been dropped off by their parents earlier their clothes from the night before still shoved in their school bags with their hotel bought lunches. So he waited, with a sagely patience, for the bus he knew was coming, and like magic number twenty-six pulled up before them.

Sora bounced beside him, Riku leant on the gate post behind him, and Roxas removed his ipod, placing the device in his endless pocket of black void.

It was then, he felt it; impending disaster.

Aka, Demyx.

As the yellow retractable door slid open something seemed to change in the air, before Demyx burst from inside the bus and down the stairs arms stretched as he paused dramatically.

"Here come the men in black! It's the MIBs! Here come the MIBs! Here come the men in black! They won't let you remember!" Demyx sung, loudly and off key, as the occupants inside the bus and the students by the gate stared at him. Axel leapt from the bus behind him, sunglasses on, throwing his bony arm over Demyx's shoulder.

"The good guys dress in black, remember that, just in case we ever face to face and make contact! The title held by me; MIB, means what you think you saw you did not see!" Axel picked up; singing impossibly louder then the blonde haired teen that'd started it. "So don't blink be what was there is now gone, the black suits with the black ray bands on, walk in shadow move in silence, guard against extra terrestrial violence!"

"But yo we ain't on no government list, we straight don't exist; no names and no fingerprints! Saw something strange? Watch your back, cause you never quite know where the MIBs is at," Demyx took his lines, as Axel charged into the second chorus. A large group from inside the school filing up to watch as students trickled out of the bus behind them. Roxas twitched, jaw dropped, as he watched his friends epic display.

Demyx started again.

"Now from the deepest of the darkest night, on the horizon bright lights enter sight, cameras zoom on the impending doom but then like boom! Black suits full the room up, with the quickness, talk with the witnesses. Hypnotizer nueralizer, vivid memories turn to fantasies, ain't no MIBs can I please?"

"Do what we say, that's the way we kick it, dya know what I mean? I see my noisy cricket get wicked on ya. We're your first, last, and only line of defense against the worst scum of the universe. So don't fear us, cheer us! If you ever get near us don't jeer us we're the fearless. MIBs freezing up all the flack, what's that stand for? Men in Black."

As Demyx and Axel spiraled into a duet with the next chorus, and several students sung along now as other watched in the same awed shock as Roxas and Riku.

"Now Sora!" called Demyx punching the air as Roxas' younger brother moon-walked into the fray of singing teenagers pulling a serious pose before he let out a string of vocals.

"Alright, check it. Let me tell you this in closing; I know we might seem imposing but trust me if we ever show in your section, believe me, it's for you own protection. Cause we see things that you need not see, and we be places that you need not be, so go on with your life, forget the Roswell crap. Show love to the black suit! Cause-"

"That's the men in-"

"That's the men in-"

"That's the men in Black!" finished Sora excitedly.

"Thank you, thank you," announced Demyx, bowing, "You've been a wonderful audience, peace out."

"Now get the fuck back to your boring adolescent lives!" Exclaimed Axel.


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