Disclaimer: I don't own the Reservoir Dogs: I'm just borrowing them.

One bullet, ripping through my gut like a knife, and I'm flat on my back on the cold pavement, my head filled with rage and pain, and before I know what I'm doing, she's dead and I'm a murderer. You pick me up, cradle my bleeding body, trying to help me and I'm still probing for information, still a spy and you tell me your name.

You're worried, I can feel that, but you try to be strong, for me, and I need you to anchor me when the pain feels like it will never end, so much pain, so much blood and I try and try to listen to you and you keep me sane, my friend, my oh so much more than a criminal friend who I'm betraying with every breath I take, who I'm loving as I trample on your trust, who I'm smiling at as I stab you in the back my loving friend I wish I could stop but words keep rushing out of my mouth lying words that are so true I almost believe them and you keep me safe, my friend, my father who I'm killing with a loving shot.

More pain, a fire in my belly that eats me up inside, but not as much as the guilt as I look at you, your face so full of concern, concern for me, who deserves nothing but your arms are so strong, and I'm falling so fast will you catch me? your arms around me like a father and I lean in to your embrace I'm safe here from the darkness you will keep me safe my friend.

You brush my hair back, and I'm laughing at such an ordinary gesture made at such an extraordinary time and you whisper in my ear and tell me I'm OK but nothing's OK any more, nothing will ever be OK again and you smile how can you smile in the darkness I betray you and you love me and I love you my father how can I leave this place and know that I put you in the darkness when you saved me from it?

I fall into darkness so deep with no ending, dragged back, I kill again. Talking hurts, but I have to tell someone, have to say it but he doesn't listen. They don't believe me but you stand up for me though I'm not worth you taking a bullet for. Two more shots, more fire but it doesn't seem to hurt as much as seeing you fall: you killed for me, your enemy, your enemy who betrays you, how can I live with that? I have to tell you and I see your world crashing down sorry I'm sorry so sorry I'm a cop I'm so sorry and your gun barrel in my cheek I knew it would come to this I need you to do this to redeem me to forgive me so I can be whole again and you pull the trigger one bullet and my world ending. One bullet.