It was raining, but Angel didn't seem to notice. She couldn't feel the cold drops of rain or feel the cold wind ripping through her body. She saw no one, no one except her ex-lovers body.

She ran her shaky fingers against the cool frame.

"How could I let this happen?" She whispered. "Im so sorry, Im . . . " Angel trailed off, now overcome with emotions.

Tears came like a river ever flowing. She didn't try to stop them from falling, not that she could. She was so weak so . . . Lifeless.

She felt arms around her, bringing herself to the other.

"It's not your fault."

Angel shook her head. "It's all my fault Casey."

"No, no it's not Angel, it's not your fault."

Angel felt her ex-lovers cheek.

"She's dead." Angel finally acknowledged. "She's gone." With that, Angel broke down. She let her guard down, not caring who saw her. Not caring that the woman, who needed her, was only a couple of feet away. Not caring at all, Not caring. Not wanting to live.

Hours later Angel found her self in the room once shared by two souls. Now occupied by one woman and a lifeless vessel.

"Angel, you need to eat something." She heard the brunette say.

Angel made no response. It was to hard to breathe, to hard to even live.

"Angel, please talk to me." The woman said, wrapping her arms around what was left of Angel.

Angel shrugged the woman off. She wasn't in the mood for company. How could she live on in the presence of her when her ex-lover was dead? She couldn't be content.


Angel interrupted the older woman. "Can you leave?"

"Im not just going to leave you here to sulk and–."

Angel blocked the woman's words. She didn't need to hear any of it, nor did she wanted to. She needed quite, peace and quite. No distractions and nothing to remind her of her past lover.

She felt soft hands beginning to intertwine in hers.

"I love you."

Something in Angel snapped. She quickly turned around, in a result she forcefully pushed the older woman away making her stumble. Without thinking she grabbed the older woman and pushed her against the wall. Strength came out from unforseen places. Anger, hurt, guilt, regret. . .


Angel blocked out the older woman pleads. She only saw her self in those brown eyes. She only saw the guilt and sadness. She saw only herself and the love she once had with the two women she ever loved. She was now faced with a choice. However, whatever road she chooses may lead her to misery.

Angel finally let go of the woman. Leaving her gasping for air. "Just get out, I don't care where you go but get out of my sight." Angel said, her voice full of venom.

For once, she saw the woman before her. Her eyes with tears. She saw the sadness and the pain she herself had been put through. Whether she blamed herself was far from knowing. The older woman grabbed her jacket then looked directly into Angel's eyes. "You lost her, and now you're losing me."

Angel ran her fingers through her hair.

The woman shook her head. "Goodbye Angel." She took the ring she wore and placed it on the nearby dresser . Not giving a second glance, she left.

Angel sighs, picking up the ring. She was slowly dying inside. She had no reason to live. She had lost everything. Everyone she ever loved. It was all her fault. She was selfish she wanted Olivia and Megan both. Now, she lost both. And now she's losing herself.

Angel threw a nearby glass cup toward the door breaking it, along with her dreams of a future with the woman she loved. The glass shattered mimicking her life. She was slowly decaying, slowly dying. And no one could help her.

Angel slid down onto the floor. Balling into a ball fearing what lies ahead. She cried for what could be the last time. That night she wished she was dead herself. That it was she that died in surgery. That it was her. . . Maybe it will be. She lost everything. Everyone. . .

Alexx (Nika)