This was written by people from many different places in the world so the spelling
will not be perfect.




(Author: CrazyGirl)

"Thank you 'Witheld'. We will now go to our corrospondant live outside the Johnson Institute." Patty Bighair said and the setting changed.

"Hello this is Anya Autumn live outside the Johnson Institute. Today, the patients have been allowed outside and are allowed to have a visitor. A rareity in itself. You see, they aren't allowed to go outside without critical supervision for fear they will escape and spread the disease. They aren't often allowed visitors for the same reason. We have been given the privilage of interviewing a patient and her visitor under the supervision of Dr. Forge, a colleague of the acclaimed Dr. Laege. Let's talk to him."

"Hello Ms.Autumn. Well, as you said it is rare for the patients to see the light of day, but the government forces us to take them outside at least once every two months."

"Really? So if the government didn't force you, you wouldn't do it at all?"

"No. And you wouldn't be conducting this interview if you didn't have a court order, because the disease is incredibly contagious. Dr. Laege and I are actually testing a hypothisis of ours."

"Which is...?" Anya Autumn inquired.

"That Jackmansitis is actually airborne."

"Wow. If it were?"

"Well, every women on earth could, in fact, be carrying a strain of this dreaded disease." Dr. Forge stated sadly.

"If that were true, why aren't they showing any signs?"

"They would remain dormant until provoked by a movie or magazine, or worse, songs from 'OKLAHOMA!!' downloaded from Napster." Once the words escaped his lips, Dr.Forge regretted them.

"OKLAHOMA!!!??" a corus of females yelled in the background and began drooling at the thought of a shirtless, curly-haired Hugh.

Dr.Forge began to visibly sweat before a nurse came and asked, "Doctor, should we use the tasers?"

"YES! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YES!!!!"

"Tasers?" the reporter asked incredulously.

"Well, the pain takes there mind off of {{Jackman}} (the last part being whispered). Anyway, before you can talk to the patient, you'll need some background," he flipped through some papers on his clipboard, " Her name is Rachel, but she goes by 'CrazyGirl' here because she was among the first to reach stage six. During stage six, the patient has it so bad that she can transmit the disease to male friends. By which we mean, they too, begin to be physically attracted to {{Jackman}}. As you can tell, stage six only recently emerged."

"You mean to say that Jackmansitis can be so potent is can be given to men?" Anya asked, bewildered.

"Yes. We are trying to find all infected men and send them to our sister institute in Antarctica. The good thing about stage six is that only homosexual men seem to be affected. But before, no men were, and therein lies the problem."

"But I see that 'CrazyGirl' has a male visitor."

"Yes, his name is Nick. He is straight though."

"You know this for sure?"

"We showed him pictures of Russel Crowe and he showed no outward response."

"Why not show him pictures of {{Jackman}}?"

"All pictures have been banned unless on a personal computer of the patients stage four and up. Now would you like to talk to 'CrazyGirl'?"

"Yes."

"I will be monitoring you, if you begin to become affected, you will be asked to end the conversation and will be forced to be quarentined for a week. You DO understand the risks?" Dr. Forge asked, to make sure.

"Of course. I'll take my chances to show the people what will happen if they, or their loved ones go without help."

"Good luck and god speed." Dr.Forge said taking his position.

The reporter went over to 'CrazyGirl' and Nick. They seemed to be talking about someone named Kyle and how much of a bas**** he was.

"The jerk didn't even call me to tell me his plans were cancelled and he goes out with Susan." CrazyGirl said, throwing her hands in the air.

"That terd! I can't believe he did that! Want me to beat him up?" Nick asked her.

"No, when I get out I want to, but you can hold him down if you want."

"Sure anything for you, Kjorkina!"

"Hello. My name is Anya Autumn. I'm here to..."

"Yeah, I was told about what you're here to do, bub."
The word 'bub' created an uproar and the tasers were need again.

"Yes, well, ANYWAY. If I could begin the interview. My first question is when did you realize you had Jackmansitis?"

"When Nick here said he thought I might be infected." CrazyGirl said shrugging her shoulders.

"Is this true?" Autumn asked Nick.

"Yes. She was over at my house and we were watching the X-Men DVD adn all she would allow us to watch was the {{Hugh Jackman}} screen test."

"EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? YOU were the one who was demanding to watch that! YOU were the one with the 7, that's right, 7! Hugh Jackman shrines!"

"Shut up Kjorkina!"

"Kjorkina?!? Jackman shrines? What is going on here?" Autumn demanded.

"Kjorkina is code. It means 'I love Hugh Jackman!!!' His nick-name is Elmah, simply because his screen name is ElmerHelens. Why? I can't say. And yes, he has Hugh shrines!"

The unexpected information had the rest of the patients in a zombie like state. They were all chanting 'Jackman, Jackman, Jackman, Jackman...' The tasers were now useless.

"AHHHHHHH!!!" the nurses were screaming in horror. Dr. Forge was making the 'knock it off' sign with his hand rapidly moving across his throat. Anya Autumn ignored this and pressed on further.

"Just what exactly are in these shrines?"

"Ya know, pictures, pictures, several more pictures, and lots of candles." Nick began drooling.

"LORDY! He's got it!" Dr.Forge cried, "HE LIED! HE SAID HE WAS STRAIGHT!! HE LIED HE LIED HE LIED HE LIED HE LIED!!!" Dr.Forge broke down into hysterics.

"OOO!! Nick, tell them what you did at Swordfish!" CrazyGirl said excitedly.

"Swordfish?" severly other patients asked, " DOES HUGH HAVE A NEW MOVIE??" (many patients had been in the institute for some time and did not know of the existance, so it was news to them)

"Yeah, he's got a new movie! He even wears a towel in one scene. ONLY a towel." Nick said his eyes becoming distant. "I wish it would have fallen off."

"Tell them the story, Elmah! You'll love this, Anya!"

"I'm sure I will," she replied becoming infected herself.

"Coo, anyway what happened was there is this one scene where Halle Berry says, "I'm not here to suck you're d*** Stanley." and I said, " I AM!!!" Almost everyone in the theater turned to look at us. But it was worth it. He is SOO hot!"

"Yeah, he is..." CrazyGirl and Anya said at the same time. Just then one of the other patients notced the camera man.

"OH MY GOD! HE'S GOT MUTTON CHOPS!!!!" An entire mob of horny women, and one gay man started after him. Fearing for his life the camera man {who's name was Joe-Bob, for no reason at all} dropped the camera and the screen turned to stactic.

The screen changed back. "That was, well, interesting. We can only presume that the poor camera man will die a quick and painless death." Patty Bighair stated sadly shaking her head. "On a lighter note, we have a clip of a puppy dog biting a man's bootay!"

The screen cut to the attack..

***

(Author: NeptuneLadyOfTheSea )

"This is Patty Bighair from channel 6 news. In recent events i have once again been invited back to the Jackmanitis treatment center. While my visit I have been aloud to visit a young woman who goes by the online name of NeptuneLadyOfTheSea." Patty says and enters a room where and girl no older then 16 sits smiling happily. She has long black hair that had been obviously dyed. Patty sits down and the camera man zooms in on the younger girl noticing the blue contacts over her once green eyes.

"So, NeptuneLadyoftheSea, when were you first effected by this disease?"

"First off call me Jubilee, And i was first effected by the cartoon, where i saw a young girl I could relate to. She had jut joined and Quickly became friends with Wolverine... (Drools a bit.) Then it developed when I got my hands on the comic. My parents knew nothing of it nor cared. it was a healthy thing for me. to read and all." Stops and starts crying a bit.

"It's okay, please continue." Patty insists and Jubilee/Neptune nods.

"Well you see when I heard the movie would be coming out, I went mostly for a glimpse at my favorite person, Jubilation Lee, goddess of Colors, well i saw her, but not before seeing the wonderful, beautiful, handsome, lovely, godly Hugh Jackman. I feel in love. I even sent him fanmail after words, but we're not there yet. you see i was in love, then that bimbo came and took him, just like that other bimbo in the comics. My poor Jubilee was left with only a walk on and a sit down spot. It would have been fine till the bimbo Rogue took my beautiful Jackman's affection and I was left Crying.... Why, why did you have to do it. you should have left her on the side of the road where she belonged. Was it not enough that she tortured poor gambit, but now she has the chance at hugh." Burst out crying unable to talk anymore. Suddenly a girl rushes in. her whole body is covered in Clothing and she wears Dogtags around her neck. Jubilee/Neptune looks at her and the tears are replaced by Anger.

"Jubilee you've gone to far. Rogue only was in trouble. Logan helped her. Hugh Jackman did the right thing and helped. So what if he gave her that fatherly affect Jubilation is not worthy of." The rogue wanna be says and in the back ground shouts of "come back Marie" and "Get the sleeping gas, all hell is about to break lose."

"She is worthy of it you slut, shut your pathetic mouth. you are worth less. At least my jubilation looked like she is suppose to. Your pathetic whore one couldn't even speak right." Jubilee/Neptune says and throws a hand full of color full tacks at Rogue.

"At least she said more then one line." Rogue said and took of her gloves the two begin to duke it out. Jubilee/Neptune avoids skin contact while rogue wannabe avoids the colorful tacks. soon ten guards come in a drag the pair away from each other and to their separate rooms. Rogue left mumbling about herself with read marks all over her face and Jubilee/Neptune crying asking where her wolvie is and why he left her for a Whore name Pryde.

"Well that concludes this visit. Though I would have hoped that I could have gotten more in detail with the severity of her case, it was only a brief interview. till next time, this is patty Bighair signing off.

***

(Author: Lateo)

Dear Dr.Kiru

Yesterday we tried to bring the patien Lateo out of her catonic state, which she has been in ever since we tried to treat her with shoock therapy.

After consulting experts in Australia we decided that the best way was to put her in the Jackman room and hope that by allowing her unhealty obsession she would recover.

The Jackman room contains all the Jackman items confiscated from the patients who are still in the earely stages of the disease. (the patients in the fatal stages have to be given Jackman acces to avoid unnessesary suffering.)

My dear college, the Jackman room is a TERRIBLE place. The walls are covered with Hugh Jackman pictures, boxes filled with dogtags, action dolls and cigars are scattered around the coners. Often the patients get very creative in their obsession for Jackman; One even carved his ass from a piece of soap.

It was our hope that by leaving her subjected to so much Jackman she would recover, surely the picture of him in a towel besides Halle Barry would do the trick.

But even though one of the male nurses claims he saw her look at her ass. She still apears to be catatonic. I will write more as the case progresses.

Dr.Laege

***

(Author: Witheld)

Dear Dr. Leage;

My research was going well until last week, when I finished tests on the Internet boards. The results were conclusive.

I know now that the shock treatment, which we've invested so much time in, doesn't work. The horrible fics I've been spreading haven't done anything. Also, the deprivation treatment doesn't work, not even on a level one sufferer. Once Jackman is in their blood, there's no hope for them.

And the saturation cure didn't work out either. They just keep getting worse.

We're going to have to start floating new theories. All the old ones are just dead ends.

What about Dr. Forge's treatment? I liked the chemical cocktail, even if it was a bit risky. We'll just have to be extra careful.

Yours truly,

Doctor (((((((name whited out here)))))))

PS Another colleague of mine dissapeared yesterday. I've begun hiring Hugh-lookalikes to protect me. I suggest you invest in similar measures before it's too late.

***

(Author: Lateo)

Letter written on a napkin.

Dear Dr.(((((((name whited out here)))))))

I am writing you from a hidden location because i have been forced to go into hiding. Where ever I go women w wearing dogtags are following me. They say they want to congratulate me for removing the compitition for Jackmans affection but I dont believe them. They are up to something. For the love of God, avoid everyone wearing yellow raincoats.They are the most dangerous of them all.

Dr.Laege

***

(Author: Witheld)

Letter on a blood stained peice of paper.

Dr. Leage,

I have finally found a cure.

My God, the horror!!

Let the illness run its course, Dr. Leage! Let the illness run its course! Sooner or later Hugh Jackman will die, and the disease will stop mutating! Then you can fight it!

If we'd only known...my god...if we'd only known!!

I've been shot. I don't know if I will live...the horror!

If you get this letter....find a bunker. Hide out. Don't come out until Jackman is finally dead!

I understand so much now...the disease mutates.

It was so innocuous at first...then frightening.

My god, they're all mad!! Mad!!

YOU MUST STOP LOOKING FOR A CURE!!! A cured patient...my god...imagine if you had a head full of some beautiful woman...who you knew intimately...and it was all taken away. Wouldn't you become homocidal?

I can hear someone coming. They may rescue me...they may be here to finish me off. Whether I live or die, you will never hear from me again.

Dr. (((((name blotted out with blood)))))

***

(Author: Lateo)

Police rapport.

The victem, a male, was found in a hidden bunker. We have yet to determen the cause of death. But the body had been moved. The murdere has for some sick reason added gel to the victems hair and styled it into odd points on either side. The victem was also wearing a dogtag and attempts at putting him in a red shirt had been made it looks like the murdere was distracted before he/she could finish their sick retuals. the victem had a piece of yellow cloth in his hand and...

*rest of rapport is missing*

***

(Author: Loki)

** Special News Flash **

We just received news from our local correspondant in Quebec, Canada, about an hostage situation at a local psychiatric institution.

Here is Joan Smith, located in Giffard, Canada.

"Hi Joan. What is happening there?"

The reporter looks straight at the camera. "A few minutes ago, a 911 cal had been sent to the local police station. It seems some patients had gone wild and took the director as an hostage. We got the actual 911 call record. Let's hear it."

** "911, vous êtes là?"
"Quel est votre problème, monsieur?"
"Mon problème?!?!? J'ai été pris en otage par une gang de patients... Les pires patients: les Jackmansistis!"
"Ou êtes-vous maintenant?"
"Elles m'ont amené dans la cave de l'asile... elles cherchent une grande salle ronde... J'sais pas c'qu'elle vont faire... Elles arrêtent pas de crier quelque chose au sujet de la mort de Hugh Jackman..."
"Hugh Jackman est MORT?????!!!!!!!!!!* *scream of the 911 person*
"Écoutez, prévenez la police. VITE!!!!!"
*** (End of the record)

"Very ... huh.. interesting, Joan. You got a translation?" asked the news lady.

"Sure. Here is our translator's work."

**911, you there?"
"What's the matter, sir?"
"Hey, I have been taken hostage by a gang of patients.. the worst patients: the Jackmansistis!"
"Where are you now?"
"They dragged me to the basement.. they are looking for a big round room... I dunno what they're up to... but they keep shouting things about Hugh Jackman never dying..."
"Hugh Jackman is DEAD???????" shouts the 911 woman.
"Hey, just call the cops. Hurry!!!!!"
*** (End of translation)

"Hugh Jackman is DEAD??????????" screams the news lady. Her face turns a pure white and she looks as if going into shock.

***

(Author: CrazyGirl)

^^Special News Report^^
Today in Sydney, Australia: Riots have erupted. Mobs and mobs of women have taken over the streets, destroying everything in their path. Police in riot gear were sent out but were quickly overcome by the raging women. Help was to be sent in by the army, but when buildings began to be destroyed, an evacuation order was given to the residents and shop owners.

It seems as though the rioters enter houses and shops looking for Hugh Jackman memorabilia. Once it is found, or it is found that there is none, they leave and turn the buildings into structure fires. One of the very few women who was apprehended before the police retreated stated that they do this because they are angry that more of Jackman is not available.

Also, in Australia, aboriginal children that were up for adoption have been adopted, all of them. Some children have even been taken from their homes. Experts believe this is due to Hugh and his wife, Deborra's adoption of their aboriginal son, Oscar.

As most of you can guess, the riots and adoptions were sparked by Jacmansitis, as epidemic sweeping the world. Experts still do not know for sure the cause of this horrific disease, but say that no end is sight. Many say that men married to or dating someone suffering from this disease should try to do nothing about it, it may cause severe injuries if they do so.

Jackman could not be reached for comment on the condition of the riots or the illness plaguing the planet.

***

(Author: sparklagal)

Excerpt from Village whited out Village School Times

Hugh Jackman. The Very name can put mobs in hysteria, or make grown men (and only men) cringe with horror,
Jackmansitis has been sweeping the nation causing mobs, occult like followings and several institutions. the sickness has even come to small towns like this. It shows it can not be stopped. Jackmansitis is spreading fast. Even now it holds over half of Vermont in its grasp. Not to mention Villages name whited out. Several shrines have been created and both churches have been turned in to places of worship for, as we call him, God.

What can we do about this terrible and wonderful disease? NOTHING!!! WE WILL ALL BE UNDER ITS POWER FOR A THOUGSAND YEARS!!!! AND NO ONE CAN STOP IT! NO ONE!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

***
(Author: Agent51)

Houses of Parliament. London. England.
Excerpt fron the 6 O'Clock News.

Start transmission// Ah, yes Gordon. As you can see strange scenes have erupted here at the centre of Britsh politics as an unidentified woman answering only to the name "Agent" has barricaded herself inside the main mechanics chamber at the top of Big Ben. The only information we have on her reasons for such action is that, I quote "He's not Wolverine"
Obviously in an agitated state the only conclusion the police psychiatrists were able to reach is that this is in someway related to the worldwide epidemic of Jackmanitis.
[Cut to shot of lone woman swinging legs over side the clock face ledge, shouting "They'll never get me up here. I refuse to be a sheep to the slaughter. They'll never get me cause I'm the best"][Cut back to broadcaster]
So far her only demand is to be allowed to speak with Stan Lee, the creator of Marvil Comics. Until then though, her actions remain inexplicable.
This is Hugh Griffiths,Big Ben, London. Turns and runs as the women present at scene are affected by the name Hugh, and chase him across the green towards the Thames
River.
//End of Transmission//

***
(Author: Lateo)

Dear Diary

As you know I live in Europe and due to the pure evilness of the movie industri I am not able to see Jackman movies instantly. But Then this ladies magasine had movie reviews and they claimed Someone Like You would come out the 3l/8 Imagin my utter Joy.

Finally I too would be able to see my Hugh walk around in thight black shorts Contence is unreadable some liqued,most likely drool has made the letters unreadeble...and his cheest GOD his cheest.

But now that date has passed and there are no yummy Jackman goodness ANYWHERE. I am consedering joining the underground. Evil like this mis-information MUST be stopped.

****

So...Did you recognice your self ;) Please review.