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Author's Note: So I posted this but I decided to make it longer. Review it again. I'll be updating this; I'm actually really stoked for ths story. Ryan and Sharpay are a bit OOC in this chapter, I'm just telling you ahead of time. It's still good though, so read it.

Summary: What happens if nobody believes you except for the one person who shouldn't? TROYRYAN SLASH

Warning: Rape, abuse, self-abuse, domestic abuse, violence, homosexual relationships, etc.


"Close your eyes and pretend it's a bad dream.

That's how I get by,"

- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

ooo

The moment Sharpay looks at Ryan as he enters her room, she knows something's wrong. She drops her bottle of nail polish, failing to acknowledge the stain it makes on the carpet as it hits the floor, not caring that her father will most likely yell at her later. There' s something wrong. It's the way Ryan's body is propped against the doorway, his hands grasping so tightly to the wooden doorknob, his knuckles white. The way his lips are pressed tightly together in a firm, thin line. The way his golden hair is matted, the small cuts on his face. The way he walks, with a visible limp. The way he whimpers softly.

But mostly, it's the eyes. The last time Sharpay saw Ryan, his eyes were bright, alive. Now, staring at his younger twin brother's eyes, she knows something has happened. The way his eyes are dark, hollow caves. Erased of life. She feels like she's looking into the eyes of an old man, not a sixteen-year-old boy.

"Ryan," she manages to whisper, standing up carefully from her chair at her desk. "What's wrong?"

Ryan looks silently at her, his body trembling, the only noise coming from the consistent whimpers in his throat. And all of the sudden he falls, crumples weakly to the ground.

Sharpay catches him just before he hits the floor, cussing under her breath.

"Ryan, Ryan," she whispers frantically, slapping at her brother's face. "Ryan, wake up!"

Ryan lays silently, not moving, his breathing irregular and his eyes closed. He lets out a pained whimper as Sharpay shifts her body.

"RYAN!" yelps Sharpay, and Ryan opens his eyes slightly. As his mind registers his sister, he moans in agony as he jerks away from Sharpay.

"Ryan, what's wrong?" Sharpay begs him for an answer, searching desperately in Ryan's eyes. "What's wrong, tell me, Ryan, tell me. What happened? Are you ok?" She doesn't care that her nails are completely ruined; she doesn't care that her hair is falling apart for once in her life. She just sits there, her legs pressed against the floor begging Ryan to talk to her, ignoring the weight that he puts on her thighs.

She reaches forward to touch her brother's shoulder and is horrified when Ryan pulls away, wrapping his arms around his torso in a protective shield. Protecting himself from Sharpay, protecting himself from life, protecting himself from whatever happened.

Sharpay cusses out loud and watches Ryan's eyes fill with hurt. "Tell me what's wrong, Ryan, I can't help you." She tries again to touch her brother's shoulder, but Ryan just pulls away with a slight scream.

"DON'T TOUCH ME SHARPAY!" Ryan's voice is strained. He pulls himself into a small corner of Sharpay's pink-walled room.

"Ryan, what the fuck wrong with you?" Sharpay's voice is full of panic now; she doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know why her brother's hurting even though the uncontrollable racing of her heart fills her body with dread.

"I can't tell you," Ryan says in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Why not?" Sharpay demands. Ryan's her brother; Ryan's her twin--they tell each other everything.

"Because then you'd hate me," he says almost inaudibly. Sharpay has to lean close to him to hear.

Sharpay's voice is hushed. "What?" She blinks several times, stunned.

Ryan's voice is racked with pain. "I can't tell you--you'll hate me, you'll hate me," he whispers, bringing his knees close to his chest. "I can't."

"Ryan, why can't you tell me," Sharpay resorts to cursing, trying to hide her frustration, wishing there was a way she could calm her brother down. She's never seen him so upset; usually she's the irrational one; usually he's the steady calm one and the sudden switch of their roles frustrates her. "I'm your sister." She strokes his face; Ryan shudders but doesn't pull away this time. "I'm Sharpay; it's me, Sharpay. Come on Ry, I love you; come on you can tell me anything."

"You'll hate me," Ryan says again.

"I won't hate you," Sharpay consoles him, beginning to become impatient. "How can I hate you? You're my brother! You're my twin!"

"I..." Ryan stops.

"What is it?" Sharpay demands.

Ryan whimpers. "I..." was raped...

"SPIT IT OUT!" Sharpay screams at him, wishing for once that she had the capacity to stay calm like Ryan usually does.

Ryan flinches and jerks away. "LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"I'm not..." Sharpay tries to control her ragged breathing. She suddenly feels like a man. "I'm not touching you, Ryan."

"Don't yell," gasps Ryan, his eyes frightened.

"I'm sorry," Sharpay apologizes. "I'm sorry, I'm just so frustrated... tell me, what happened, please Ryan."

"I... it hurt..." I was raped, Shar.

"What hurt?" Sharpay grabs his shoulders and shakes him.

Ryan yelps and Sharpay lets go, horrified. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she mutters frantically. "I didn't mean to hurt you Ryan, I didn't..."

"It was after school and he was just there," Ryan whimpers, after he's shaken off the pain. He feels so vulnerable; he hates it. I couldn't stop them Sharpay. He just came.

"What did he do to you?" Sharpay says anxiously. Her heart is pounding in her chest and she feels like destroying everything. Killing everything that's hurting her brother.

He raped me. I'm not a virgin anymore. I'm so dirty.

"What did he do?" Sharpay brings her voice to such a low tone that it frightens Ryan even more than when she was screaming. "What did he do to you Ryan?"

He raped me.

But Ryan can't bring himself to say it out loud.

That would be admitting it happened.

ooo

Sharpay throws her hands up in defeat. "I'm calling Mom and Dad."

"No!" Ryan's protest comes out as a scream. Sharpay looks at him, shocked.

"What's wrong, Ryan? You won't tell me, I can't deal with this. I'm going to go get Dad; you might talk to him."

"Please," Ryan's face is pleading her, begging him, asking her.

"Ryan, there's something wrong with you right now and you won't tell me. I need to know," Sharpay says in a dangerous voice. She doesn't look her brother in the eyes. She might break.

"You'll all hate me," comes a small whisper.

"Why would I hate you?" Sharpay bends down to her brother's level and grips him by the shoulders. "Why would I hate you?"

"I can't tell you," comes the quiet reply.

Sharpay pulls out her cellphone and frantically dials in her mom's number. She dials it wrong and shouts in frustration, only to see her brother cringe. Trying to comfort Nick, she calls again to get her mom's angry voice.

"What?" comes Lynnette's tone of annoyance.

Sharpay flinches at the volume of her mom, but reminds herself the pain that she is going through is nothing compared to what is happening to Ryan.

"Mom, you need to get back here now," she says, trying to show the urgency in her voice. "I know you're at a party but we need you now."

"What happened?" comes Lynette's alarmed reply.

"Ryan's hurt," Sharpay answers, and leaves it at that. She hangs up.

Ryan stares at Sharpay, his eyes dead. "I'm..." so dirty, Sharpay.

"You're what?" Sharpay asks him. She needs the answer, she needs to kill whoever has done this to her brother.

"I'm so..."

"What?" Sharpay's voice is cracking with pain and she feels tears come to her eyes. Bracing herself, she wipes them off with the back of her hand. She needs to be strong for Ryan.

Ryan's voice is a hollow tone and he manages to say it. "He raped me, Sharpay."

"What?" Sharpay heard her brother's answer, but she has to confirm it, confirm what has happened, confirm that Ryan will never be the same again.

"He raped me."


review.

Preview for the next chapter:

"Ryan, who did this to you?" Sharpay hisses, her eyes furious. She's tired of her brother playing games; she's tired of him trying to hide his secrets. She needs to know now.

"It was..."