A/N: The end has come, friends. This has been a fantastic journey for me. I never expected this little story to be as successful as it has been. I want to thank everyone who has read this along the way. Extended thank you's will be at the bottom. Usual disclaimer applies; song is "Emotionless" by Good Charlotte. Thanks once again to everyone for reading this! And now, without further ado...
I'm writing to you
Not to tell you
That I still hate you
But just to ask you how it feels
And how this fell apart
It's been a long
Without you by my side
Why weren't you there
All the nights that I cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your child for life
It's not ok, but we're alright
I remember the days
You were a hero in my eyes
But those are just the long-lost memories of mine
And I'm writing just to let you know
I'm still alright"
Greg carefully slid the yellowed sheet of notebook paper out of his desk. He opened it slowly, carefully, smoothing the familiar creases until the fading pencil marks were visible.
With a sigh, he read over the words, so angry and so bitter. He had written this letter at possibly one of the worst times in his life, when he had felt like he had no father at all.
Setting the letter down, Greg closed his eyes. He had a father now, but it still seemed so strange to call him that. He had hated that man, the one who had abandoned him, who hadn't cared enough about him to stay. More accurately, he had hated the idea of that man, having never met him.
And then he had met him. Whether it had been the call of destiny or just dumb luck that brought him from Frisco to Vegas, he would never know. But somehow, he wound up working for him, the man who had given him half his genes, without ever even knowing it was him. He had respected that man, even come to call him friend.
Until now. Now, he didn't know what to feel. Up was down and left was right, and every feeling, the hatred, anger and bitterness along with the admiration, respect and love, were all mixed together until he couldn't even tell what he was feeling anymore.
And worst of all, he had no idea what to do. He was so tired of being angry, so tired of being sad. All he wanted was for it to be over, so that maybe now he could sleep at night.
If there was a solution to this problem, he didn't know what it was. There was a rift in his life, a tear in his heart that he could not find a way to fix. He literally felt ripped in half. On one hand, on the happy-go-lucky Greggo side, he wanted nothing more than to forgive and forget, and maybe find a way to bring his father into his life. But on the other hand, he didn't know how he could forgive what had been done to him. He knew in his heart that he would never understand why Grissom had done what he had. There was no way to fathom that type of hurt and how someone could willingly inflict it on someone else.
There was an emptiness in his life now. But he knew deep within himself that it was him with the power to fill it. Not Grissom. Grissom had done all he could to atone, had apologized and begged for forgiveness. Now it was Greg's turn to change himself, to be strong enough to fight the pain that threatened to overwhelm him. He had a fight to take on, the fight to free himself from the hatred he had carried so long inside him.
And just then, he knew. In one shining moment of crystal clear certainty, he knew what to do. It wouldn't solve it, and it certainly wouldn't heal the wounds inflicted so many years ago. But it was an acknowledgement of the past so that he could move on with the future.
Picking up a pen, Greg pulled the letter towards him. He hesitated for just a moment and then wrote in bold strokes at the bottom, "I love you. And I miss you. Your son, Greg Sanders."
He put the letter back and stood, stretching. He still had a lot to figure out, still had much to decide. But at least this time, he didn't have to be alone. He wouldn't be alone, not now that he finally had a father.
sometimes I forget
And this time, I'll admit
That I miss you
Said I miss you
A/N (Pt. 2): Special thanks to all who reviewed: 20yearfriend, Aphid24, SoulofaDragonfly, GregSanders (thanks for archiving this, too!), Little Artemis, Kuriei137, Jaimi, StoryDreamer, WONDERful, katie, ProdigiousDiscourse, Mr. Harelip, MSCSIFANGSR, knadineg, MYSTICAL PANTHER, Missing Whisper, kalea87, Wolften, Matteic, Misile, Ivy3, key-to-life, iluv-the-o.c001, and Jennie. All your reviews are what kept this and me going, and I cannot express my gratitude enough.
So, for one final time, thanks for reading and reviewing!