This is my first VM fic, so lay easy on me! Set sometime before Spit and Eggs in season 3, but doesn't have any spoilers. And Keith was on Woody's plane that Cassidy blew up, so he's dead, but everything else that wouldn't be affected by that change is the same.

Veronica just continued to stare at Logan after he muttered the words in her ear and kissed her. She wanted to scream, cry, kiss him, run all at the same time. With three short words he had killed any and every chance they ever had in making it.

I love you. The sound of the words rang through her ears as harshly as fingernails against a chalk board. Could he had said anything more damaging? She doubted it. She backed away from him, looking much like a deer would at coming headlights. Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to kill every hope she had of him staying with her. The words were cursed…at least for her.

Every single person in the world that ever said that to her leaves. Her mom, Lilly, Duncan, she took a gulp of air in an attempt to not burst into tears- her dad. No one who says that ever stays. Well she couldn't take it again. Not now, not with him. She cared about Logan too much…she loved him too much. Not that she would ever dare to say it out loud. The world might over hear and take him away from her too.

"Hey-" He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, sensing how upset she was. That did it. With that, she ran away as far as she possibly could, trying her hardest not to cry. She got to her car and drove to her dorm room she shared with Mac.

When she opened the door and saw her roommate wasn't there she silently thanked God for the small salvation of getting to be alone. Veronica Mars was not one to cry in front of anybody, not if there was any way she could help it. But there was anyone there to hide her misery from now, and she did cry. She cried until she fell asleep on her bed even though it was only six o'clock.

At ten, Mac came back in, finding Veronica curled up on her bed with no covers on her still in her regular clothes. She thought it was odd, but didn't wake the sleeping girl an just kept quiet going about her business until she herself went to bed, tossing a throw blanket over Veronica before doing so. The next morning she was awoken to Logan at the door, asking for Veronica, but Veronica was gone. In the pit of her stomach, Mac knew something was very wrong.

She gave Logan a questioning look, but didn't voice the question that was all to obvious for them both. What the hell happened?

Logan looked very worried. "Did you talk to Veronica last night?"

"No, she was asleep when I got here and when I woke up a minute ago she was gone. Is everything ok?"

"I don't know."

Veronica knelt beside her father's headstone in the grave yard. Loving father was all it said other that the dates he was born and had died. He had died way too soon. And Veronica felt like a part of it was her fault. If she had just called him after she saw Beaver's name in that picture. He would have figured it out, she knew it. He would have figured out about the bombs and not have gotten on the mayor's plane. She should have figured it out herself, but she was too appalled at the discovery of who had raped her and too afraid for Mac. Well Mac might be scarred from what happened that night, but she was alone. Keith, her daddy, the only parent she'd had left, had died. And it was her fault.

All of it was her fault. Everyone that left her. If she had just been smarter, more suspicious, maybe Lilly would still be alive and then her mom wouldn't have left her. Things would have turned out differently. Duncan might not be on the run with he and Meg's baby and her daddy wouldn't be dead. But he was, he was gone, just like they all were, and she couldn't take it anymore. She had never felt so lonely in her life. Part of her wished Lilly would still visit her like she used to, but Veronica knew she wouldn't. She was alone…and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. It was the next victim of her curse. What would happen to him, she wondered. Would he become an alcoholic like her mother? He drink like to drink a lot. Would he disappear like Duncan? Would he die like Lilly and her dad?

His hand was warm, but it somehow felt cold to her. Silent tears ran down her cheeks, but she wasn't really aware of them for her deep train of thought. She didn't even feel Logan hug her, sit down and pull her comfortingly into his lap. She refused to acknowledge it. To her, the bomb was ticking and maybe it was better to just numb herself to the explosion early.

Then she felt it explode. She had to decide. She hadn't fought for Lilly, Lianne, Duncan, or even her father until it was too late. But she hadn't been aware of it then, she was now.

She had a choice whether to try to let him go gracefully or fight for him with everything she had. She had to figure out how much he was work to her, was he worth it? It didn't take long for her to know the answer. She just wasn't sure whether it made it easier or harder.

She felt his touch as his arms wrapped around her slender figure protectively and put her own hand over his.