I found out that this fanfic got deleted a while back... the writer was my best friend... what writer's block can do to ya huh? So I decided to do this fanfic dedicated to her workmanship... workwomanship... yeah...

Naruto's answerphone:

"This is Naruto's answer thingy ma bob, If you want me really badly or if you are Sakura-chan I will either be training or at Ichiraku, leave a beep after the ramen, I mean leave ramen after the beep."

Message1#: I will KILLLLL YOU...hiss hiss, Gabeep

Message2#: ummm...Na...Na...Na...naru...Ru...Ru...Ru... beep

Message3#: Naruto you bastard, lots of my underwear is missing and I know it was you! I'll kill you next time I see you. Sakura beep

Message4#: Uzumaki Naruto this is the Akats... Happy Smiles Organisation! Please meet our representatives in the field; Wednesday at eight, there will be two people in...Err cloudy dresses and one carries a.… errr pogo stick on his back, don't worry about the blue skin; he has a birth defect, yeah. Just like you! ARGH, I mean, the HSO is an organisation for people like you! Nice, normal people! Not criminals… We all love ramen, too, yeah. We give you ramen if you join the HSO, so sign up today, I mean on Wednesday, yeah, in the field… Pogo stick, birth defects, yeah… If you follow them to a big cave they will give you ramen ... yeah. beep

Message5#: Naruto this is Neji... If you have any brooms bring them to the branch house on Friday! DIE MAIN HOUSE! beep

Message6#: Uzumaki Naruto, This is the Hyuuga main house ringing, do not give any brooms to Neji! Give them to us, on Thursday! beep

Message7#: Ummmm Na...Na…Naru...to...-k...Kun …beep

Message8#: Naruto this is Ino, I'm ringing because Hinata has been trying to get a hold of you all week. She's the one who keeps putting the phone down. She told me to tell you that you must ignore any calls from her family. Soon is the annual fight between the main and branch house, where they attack each other with broomsticks… What the hell, Hinata? Oh I see, she says especially not to Neji. Then she says to leave flowers instead from my shop. I know you didn't say that but it's good for business. beep

Message9#: Naruto this is Kiba, have you seen Akamaru? Ring me if anyone sees him… beep

Message10#: Naruto this is Naruto. I accidentally locked myself out of the flat again so I was wondering if you could open the door please, or does it not work like that?.. It's cold out here…. beep

Message11#: Hey Naruto this is Kankuro, I was looking at all the calls made from this house, that's how I found this, and Temari didn't call you so it must have been Gaara… Actually I better go he's got a stamp stuck on his head and is getting angry. Hey leave my puppets alone! NOOO! Karasu's poor head! THAT'S IT! beep

Message12#: Hey Naruto this is Temari, apologizing for my stupid brothers' calls, and to say that Gaara really wants Neji and Lee's phone number for some reason, so if you could ring back later. "Temari, Gaara's stuck in the dishwasher again!" ok! Sorry, got to go now. beep

Message13#: Kabuto who am I ringing again? "Uzumaki Naruto, Orochimaru-sama." ahh yesss Naruto, you took my Sasuke-kun, GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE HIM BACK! "Orochimaru-sama it's time for beddy-byes." Ok, bye bye naruto-kun! beep

Message14#: Uzumaki Naruto you did not turn up to our happy smiley meeting on Wednesday, we have taken your sleeping hat and you won't get it back! This is the true wrath of the Akat…. Happy Smiles Organisation… So! Come to the training field with the logs, look out for a man with a plant on his head, the pogo stick man, err how should I describe Itachi a lady with a ponytail… yeah... another lady with a bigger, blonde ponytail and a pretty birdie, yeah. Bring nail polish or the sleepy hat gets it! Muaa! ha! .. Oh, we're so evil. beep

Message15#: Naruto we would like you to come and enjoy the spirit of youth with us tomorrow! Gai beep

Message16#: You have no dick beep

Message17#: Naruto, it's Sasuke. If anybody rings about trying to kidnap you give me their number. Now to stare at myself in the mirror for ten hours practising my kill Itachi glare wearing my favourite pink shower cap and a darlek costume muaa… oh crap. beep

Message18#: Naruto none of that glaring stuff was true! Please, I'll buy you ramen! My reputation as a dark, sexy teen idol is at stake! beep

Message 19#: Hey, Naruto, it's Kakashi, just ringing to say I won't be late tomorrow, but if I am, here's my excuse in advance! I overslept! See you tomorrow! Or not….

NLB: dies from the amount of beeps Ok, next time Shino!

A/n- Woah, why don't computers recognise easy names like Naruto and Kakashi.. Being a litmus is so hard.. Just so you know the spelling suggestions for Hinata is "Piñata", and Sasuke is "Sauce", Gai is "Gay" and Naruto is "Narrator". The spell checker lives on! WHOOO!!!