Inos answerphone

"More like taking innocent people hostage!"

Shut up Chouji you're my pet you do what I say and I say you can't speak! Don't eat those, they're my cacti! Noo Bindi! Flint! Flint! You had extra long spikes!
Oh, you're just pretending to die from a perforated neck for attention, I'll have to take you to training classes... BUT! Back to me. Leave me an adoring message after the beep.

#1: Where is Akamaru! You are so evil! I'm going to give you fleas! And
don't think I won't! I'll post them to you, I'll roll on your bed, and I might even plant some in your knicker drawer if I can find some extra tough gloves.

#2: Buy Gai's super duper mean green suits today! Bursting full of youthfulness! YOUTH!
Perfect for dancing and attracting pretty ladies! One satisfied customer said "Gai sensei, is this thing on? AH! Yes! My suit is so well formed to my body, I would feel nekked without it! Do YOU want to be naked? Buy now and get free cardboard eyebrows! Yes, you heard me, EYEBROWS! SEXY TIGHT GREEN SPANDEX EYEBROWS!

#3: My stick, my stick, my stick, my stiiiiick. Do you like my stick? Want
to play with it! Wait no that came out wrong! Don't get the police on me!
They might take my stick.. He's my fwend ... MINE!

#4: Hello. It's your favourite dude with a tatoo on his head. I'm going to talk to you now, it's better than paying for a therapist, and i dont have to sit in those damned annoying squichy rooms, or wear those tight jackets, although they do emphasise my hips... Yeah, you seem a good person to release my
troubles on to. Seen as the last person who I talked to laughed at my love
for waffles, I ask you, is it really that wrong that I get turned on those delicious waffly things?
Biscuits too now, mainly Jammy Dodgers.The red bit is like... blood... Plus I think I have a cake addiction.
I'm supposed to be good now right? It's worrying, but I don't feel good... It's all this unholy rage and bloody hatred in me. I blame lightbulbs. I still can't help slaughtering my
brother's doll- ...puppets and stealing people's underwear. Ah yes underwear I like that too, can you imagine waffle underwear with a jammy dodgery bit? I like Haruno Sakura's it's just that little bit better than yours.I found a pair with a jammy doger bit. They didn't smell like jammy dodgers though. I hid them down the toilet. I keep
practising a death glare. I can actually make flowers wilt with a look now. And a bit of bashing them.

Ah you're such a good listener. I'll talk to you again soon, I have to hold a tea party with my friends, they're good listeners like you... are you a rock like them?.

#5: I want ice-cream!

#6: This is Pretty Weasel and the Uglies, the newest boyband and the gayest,
you can thank Itachi and Deidara for that...

Shut up I forgot their stage names!

I don't want to be Caroline. What is that? A fish net! Get off meee! ARGH! MY SEXY FACE!

You love me don't you? This is Tad. Chester bring me my nail varnish! Stop hogging
it! I was the one who came up with this brilliant idea.I wrote all the songs too, and I wanna see you at our concert! It'll be totally evil and ... groovy. No Ze..Chester we're not going to
find you a girlfriend! Nobody likes you you're too ugly! I'll write a song about that now.


Doo Doo Doo, Shoo Wap A Doo...

#9:Ino, I need your help... Really badly, It's Naruto by the way. I need
your clothes, DON'T KILL ME! It's all for the stick...

#10:#Yo! Naruto here! Hey, have you seen that lard-o Chouji? I think he wants my stick too... MINE! For no reason, his Dad keeps comin' around and AAUUGH! GET OUTTA MY FRIDGE YOU FREAK! I BEAT YOU WITH STICK! oh shit you wear armour... fook... my stick?

#11: Got milk?

#12: Stop ringing me. You're ruining my happy tap-dance.

#13:I - In... ahem...Ino...I need your, Shino is outside my

I tried ringing Sakura first but her line was busy...So
I needed another sca..strong person. If someone doesn't get rid of him soon
I think my dad might get rid of him, broom-style. No he's going after him
with a feather duster! D-D-D-D-DA...


#15:# Ino, this is Yamino Chikage from the Village Hidden in Sand. I KNOW you
stole my socks last week! GIVE'M BACK! MY TOESOCKS!

#16: The fleeeeaassss are a comin! I will put them on you plants, but they will be plant fleas, what are plant fleas called? Akama- OOH! INO! I'm gonna kill you, make you choke or somethin!

#17: (whispering) Hello, I don't know what number I'm calling here, but you gotta help me... I've been... kidnapped... Please, she goes upstairs in the daytime to run the shop, sneak in then and send me food...

#18: If you don't bring Akamaru back tonight then I'll kill...your plants! WITH FLEAS!

I've taken them hostage! The plants I mean. I can play this game too! Plus I need Akamaru back because of my blackmail problems. I can't sleep.. he's my hot water bottle, we don't have heating, and now I have frostbite in sore places!

#19: I want to be insane again! Being normal quiet Neji is boring! I want to
be the insane broom boy! Eheheheheh It's more fun. Seen as the broom fight
is another year away, I need something else, mops might be good but I was
thinking of moving away from cleaning. Opposite of cleaning...POO! No that
doesn't work, poo's a funny word though. POO POO POO. No I need something
else! Help me! I'm still scary, honest. RAR! Bet that made ya jump!

#20:# Hey Ino-pig! It's Sakura. Just wanted letcha know that there's this girl,
uh, I think she said her names was Chikage or comething, bawling on my front
porch like a baby blubbering something about...Toe socks? Do you know
anything about this idiot? She's makin' a mess!

#21: Hello, is this the "I can help you kill your smelly older brother, and help you with your dark and moody duck image" helpline?
Your message didn't sound like it buuut you could be...I'd like to purchase
a 'kill that dirty bastard with a free self-tan and pedicure' kit. Send it to the cave near wherever you lost your last member. Muahahaha. (Gasp! I'm turning into HIM! TO THE BUBBLE BATH CAVE!)