He hasn't smiled for ages. He's been trying – faking – but it's only fooled Peter. I know him too well to not notice the changes.

Nothing he used to find hilarious is even funny anymore. He's become too mature to take part in silly pranks. He's changed completely, all for her to notice him, but we all know she still hasn't seen a thing.

Nothing is the same. Every prank we pull and every joke any of us tells just lacks heart. Not one of us can be happy when our heart is dying. He is our heart - the heart of the marauders and when he's upset – we're all upset. Once again it's all because of her.

I hate her for it. For the fact that everything she does effects him and every one of us. She has ruled all of our lives for too long and I am sick of it.

Sick of the helplessness we all feel when she insults him and he's depressed for a week. Sick of the fact that just the sight of her talking to another guy sends him into a tizzy – and we all have to listen to him go on about it for hours.

Most of all I am so, so sick of watching my best friend drown when there is absolutely nothing I can do to save him.

It hurts to know I can't even help my own best friend – my family. He and the marauders are the only family I have ever known. They've helped me through everything – and I can't help with this. We're growing up now and they don't need me as much anymore. We don't tell each other everything like we used to – everything and everyone is changing, and I can't seem to fix anything any more.

He only smiles for her now. She can just walk into the room and he comes alive. It's scary to see how much power she lords over him, and its scarier to realize that she hasn't realized it.

I try so hard to hate her and I still can't. I can't hate the only person that makes my best friend happy- no matter how much I try.

AN- I don't know how much I liked this. I feel like Sirius came off as too feminine. Please review and tell me what you think!