Disclaimer: Gotta be honest here- really don't care if any of you people think I own DBZ. Y'all are like the people at the grocery store who have to ask where something is because they're too lazy to look at the signs hanging above the aisles.
You guys thought I was done with yuri? HA! That's almost as funny as you thinking I was done with Android 18. You guys will never be able to predict my next move. I'm like the chess master, man, I'm always one step ahead. In this chapter, I'm going to be doing what I did in earlier chapters: making fun of a particular story. In this case, Dark Inferno's erotic novella (I swear it must be forty or fifty fucking pages long, for srs) "A Debt Repaid," but only the second chapter. And I took a lot of liberties with it, like I usually do. Anyway, try not to wank yourselves dehydrated. Enjoy.
Videl paced in her little pacing donut hole she'd worn in her bedroom floor from, you guessed it, pacing. By this point, she was just stomping around in the wet soil below her and her hubby's room. The carpet was now waterbugs. No, not infested with waterbugs. I mean the waterbugs had literally eaten and promptly replaced the carpet with themselves, and Videl didn't even notice because her feet had gone numb from her always being on them. Among the population of waterbugs, the phrase "Can you believe this shit?" was the most common phrase uttered in their little roach language.
But she had good reason to be angrily pacing. Gohan left her one year ago today. The last thing he said to her before he left still rung in her ears: "When I get back, I'm going to lay some serious fuck on you." Admittedly a mediocre dirty-talk line, but still better than the first thing her schoolmate Sharpener ever said to her: "You have three holes. A bowling ball has three holes. I like to stick my penis into bowling balls. Let's go bowling Friday night!"
Unfortunately, no serious fuck had been laid at all, save for the occasional impotent string of F-bombs Videl would toss out in her angrier moments. Instead, the only thing that was laid was a baby into a crib. The only pause she had taken from her constant pacing- besides bathroom breaks and answering the door for pizza- was to squat over a crib and push a baby out of her with no anesthetic whatsoever. "Damn that Gohan for getting me pregnant, promising sex, and leaving," she growled. "He's going to get a serious talking to when he gets back."
As luck would have it, someone was arriving that day. A woman with blonde hair and a bunch of gears in her stomach. Why, who could it be? Well, unless you're the kind of person who thinks women secretly like to eat wires and pieces of metal (an MRA, in other words), it's probably Android 18! Back from her recent hot, sexy affair with Bulma and Vegeta's even hotter, even sexier affair with a pizza, she was ready to fulfill a debt! Gohan made Cell puke a robot, and she was going to repay him by destroying his marriage! First she stopped off at his house and fucked him, now she's come for Videl's fuck! Eat your heart out, Days of Our Lives!
Videl heard a knock on the door and her insides nearly rocketed out of her orifices. She hadn't ordered pizza or takeout! There was only one other option! It must be a MAAAN! Specifically, it must be a half-saiyan man! Either Gohan was about to get crying, sex and slapped or Goten was about to get all of those things and then slapped again when she realized it wasn't actually Gohan! Quite frankly, a white bedpost with a big, black spider sitting on it would be a convincing enough Gohan to fool her at this point. If anyone would like to send me a picture of Videl dry-humping a bedpost with a spider on top of it, feel free to PM it to me ASAP. A man's got needs.
Videl swung the door open and nearly cracked 18 in the face. But while the door missed her, the ungodly stank that had been building and awaiting release into the outside world for two straight days did not. A coagulated mixture of waterbugs, waterbug leavings, old pizza and takeout boxes, and the same clothes Videl had been wearing since the night Gohan left were wafting through 18's olfactory sensory wiring and threatening to burn it all out.
"Uh… Videl," 18 stammered out pathetically. "Long time, no see."
"18? What's going on?"
"Oh, not a lot."
It took every bit of acting skill and charisma for 18 to say this next line without her stomach clenching so hard it caused her to implode. "May I come in?"
"The place is a little messy, but sure."
"A little?" 18 said, and Videl didn't answer. She was faintly aware of the squalor she was living in, but an alarmingly one-track mind such as hers allowed her to block it out.
"So, how's your sex life?" asked Android 18, borrowing a page from the Tommy Wiseau book on "How to Be Bad At Literally Everything You Do Except Eliciting Gales of Mocking Laughter from Strangers." The title is so long, there almost wasn't enough room on the cover for Tommy's naked ass.
Videl took a look at her, then her bedpost, then back at her. She sighed. "Pretty uneventful."
"Well, okay, I was going to be surreptitious about this," 18 began, "but here's the deal. You have turned your house into the envy of landfills all across the world. This place looks like Chernobyl fucked a college student's studio apartment. I let myself into the house, and the rest of it is so dusty and abandoned looking, it was like a museum exhibit about the post-apocalypse in some bad SyFy movie. The only hope for your marriage now when Gohan comes back in about five minutes and sees this shit is to give him the best sex he has ever had in his life, and that's a tall order because I've set the bar really fucking high. Are we clear? Do we understand each other?"
Videl blinked. She was still trying to process the word "surreptitious." Never mind the rest of it. "So, okay, I wasn't paying much attention to the second half of that. Did you just say Gohan's coming back after the post-apocalypse or he had sex with science fiction?"
"I screwed him, and if you don't screw him a lot better, you're screwed."
"So, he's not coming back after a year to see his child or fix the hole in the floor or do something about that weird crunching noise the carpet makes, he's just coming to fuck me like he said he would back then?"
"That about sums it up."
"Excuse me while I rip my clothes off." Videl ripped her clothes off. "When does he start?"
"About ten minutes. But look, I feel for your situation. You need to give Gohan the time of his life, and there's only one way I can think of to help you do that."
"I will have to anally rape you."
"…Not really following your logical leap there, 18."
Android 18 sat down and made herself comfortable at the foot of Videl and Gohan's marriage waterbugs (formerly a bed.) "Well, it's very simple. See, Gohan is now spoiled to great sex because of me and my 'repayment' for him saving me from Cell. The only way for you to rival my sexual prowess with him is if I have sex with your butthole."
"Because, duh, that's what he did to me! Now bend over this waterbugs!"
"You had sex with my husband?!"
"…You don't get things too fast, do you?"
Videl's fists clenched almost as hard as her anus had been for the past minute. "I can't believe you would have the nerve to come over here after fucking my husband!"
"I can't believe you've transformed your husband's sleeping space into a condemned hoarder's trash can."
"Oh? And I suppose you do all the house-cleaning at your place?"
18 smirked. "I have an old man and a pig who do that for me."
"Well, I don't have an old man and a pig! And if I did, they probably would have left with Gohan!"
"Okay, look." 18 got off the bed and stripped as well, and Videl gasped at what was between her legs. "Either you bend over and take this, or you don't get to have a husband. I'll clean your place for you if it's going to help you make a decision. What do you say?"
Videl could barely choke out her words, but she pointed at 18's groin and did the best she could anyway. "I didn't know… you were…"
"What?" 18 looked down and- surprise- a penis! "Oh, fuck! I thought I got rid of this after the last chapter! This was supposed to be a strap-on!"
"Okay, there's no way you're putting that in me! It's the same circumference as a coke can! How did you even hide that from Gohan?!"
"He was really into the anal thing. Apparently, you wouldn't put out."
"Well, whatever! I won't do it!"
"Do you want to stay with Gohan?"
"Yes, but he-"
"Then bend over the bed."
Videl took some things into consideration. On one hand, if she was sodomized by an android, she would probably walk funny for a while, which would seriously cut into pacing time. Was she really so desperate for Gohan's penis that she was willing to have 18 do something so gross to her after she had just gotten through cutting into hers and Gohan's relationship? And what if 18 was lying? She was not going to be some robot's cheap fling! And also, what was she going to use for lube? The mold growing off of the pile of waterbugs that used to be pizza boxes? As if! That mold wasn't even mold! It was waterbugs!
On the other hand- hopefully soon, IN the other hand, Gohan's penis…
Gohan returned to his room 30 minutes later. It was the first time he'd seen it in a year, but it was exactly how he left it! Except for the woman he'd just finished sleeping with with her robo-chick-dick up his wife's fartbox. He would have been surprised by this, if he hadn't become waterbugs.