Disclaimer: Well, Dragonball Z is pretty much property of the richest man on earth. THE RICHEST MAN ON EARTH DOESN'T USE A CRAPPY EMACHINES COMPUTER TO WRITE FANFICTION, NOW, DOES HE? Why do you people upset me so?
Okay, we're back with another phenomenally (boy I hope I spelled that right... ) bad pairing that I'm bringing to your attention. Now, we were first introduced to Goku in episode one of Dragonball which was the original series that came before Dragonball Z. In the start of this series, he was about 12 or 13, right? And that's not even getting into his mental age at that time, which was more than likely about 8. Anyways, he was almost ran over by Bulma in her piece of shit Jeep thing or whatever, and thus Bulma and him went on wacky adventures, did they not? Bulma was 17 or 18, if I remember correctly. So...
WHICH ONE OF YOU MADE SLEAZY ROMANCE/HENTAI FICS ABOUT THE TWO OF THEM? BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND BONK YOU ON THE NOGGIN, GOD HELP ME!
So yes, today's pairing is Goku and Bulma. Enjoy.
Bulma was just lounging around in her bathrobe at Capsule Corp., a bathrobe which once belonged to an eight-year-old midget dwarf who had anorexia and was, roughly, eight inches tall. So, yeah, it was a little revealing. But, only enough for a nasty hobo to jack it to, that's all, no problem. Oh, yeah, and a possible 4chan post that is appreciated and yet readily ignored before too long, but whatever. Okay, so Bulma's just laying around on her enormous fucking (about to be literally used for that) bed reading, when suddenly-
"Hello, Bulma," rang Goku's childish voice, "I came here to naively and conveniently drop by!"
"Oh, hey Goku!"
Goku ran into Bulma's room like a damn fool that can't knock and leapt over to Bulma's bedside. "And what are you doing to- uh, why did you just put your hand on my waist?"
"Oh, sorry." Bulma slowly retracted her hand. "So, Goku, how did you get in here? All the doors are locked and the windows are plexiglas, you would have to have knocked first or-"
"Oh, about that, you'll have to call the construction crew tomorrow," Goku said, scratching the back of his head, "I just got a little frustrated and..."
"So that's why I feel a draft in here." Bulma shrugged it off, getting up from her bed to face Goku at nearly eye-level. Oh well, I'm just glad to see you."
"I was hoping you would be!"
"So... you're getting married tomorrow?" asked Bulma, ducking her head a little bit.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh!" Goku responded while nodding in a manner that would remind one of an annoyingly-loyal dog. "It's gonna be cool, they're going to have cake at the wedding, which, like marriage, I just now learned yesterday wasn't a food!"
"That's nice. ChiChi's a good girl, and I'm happy... for... you?"
"Wow, Bulma, you sure are grating your teeth loudly!"
"Oh, you noticed that? Yeah, I just got back from the dentist and he told me that I needed to file them down."
"Is that also why your face is red and you have steam coming out of your ears?"
"Yes, because I'm allergic to laughing gas."
"Oh, but wouldn't you be dying if-"
"I'M FINE!" Bulma screamed out.
Goku stared at Bulma, eyeing every inch of her body. Which was pretty easy, since her robe is about 20 sizes too tight in every conceivable area of her body. In fact, that was basically why he was doing it.
"Say, Bulma, did you just get out of the shower?"
"Yes, that's why I'm all wet..." Bulma slurred seductively. This is the part where it gets embarrassing to listen to, since Bulma's about as good at seducing as Vegeta is at not acting like a dick, "oh, that bath made me feel so... loose."
"Oh, I'm sure, since you got that new water heater!"
"You really heat me up too, Goku."
Goku then noticed the white glow that was still surrounding his body. "Oops, forgot to power down."
"No, I want you to take me with all of the power you've got!"
Goku smiled dumbly, "Sure, where do you want me to take you?"
"Ahh... anywhere you want."
"Why are you tickling yourself?"
"Wow, that's very weird. Anyway, I could take you to go see a movie if I weren't getting married."
Bulma realized Goku was utterly oblivious (aka stump-fucking retarded) to her advances, which of course, makes sense because I have previously mentioned that Bulma is as good at being sexy as Tien is at not having three fucking eyes. Knowing now that any form of subtlety, no matter how shitty, would pass over Goku's head as fast as one of Frieza's death beams. So she tried another way.
"Do you remember the wild nights we had two years ago?"
Goku thought for a second while Bulma's hand went to the belt of her impossibly-small robe. "Oh, those ones where I came over and you gave me a drink with a 'magic pill' in it that made me go to dream world, and then I woke up sticky and naked?"
"I'd love to do it again. Just one more time."
Well, the thing is, dream world isn't all it's cracked up to be-"
The last shred of Bulma's patience caught on fire and was swept away like ashes in the wind. "AAAAGGGH! COME HERE!"
Bulma proceeded to inject him with NyQuil, which made him fall asleep in orderly fashion. Then she proceeded to have nasty, passionate sex with his unconscious body. After about 4 hours, she fell asleep as well, and as she woke up next to a restraining order she realized that she would never be able to have another night like that. Yet, she never regretted a thing.
Then a bear came through the hole in the wall and Bulma was never seen again.
THE VERILY END!