Dissimulation

Chapter 7: Breathe No More

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.

All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,

Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

-Breathe No More by Evanescence

Tidus opened his eyes to find himself leaning against the wall of the airship in a vacant hall, with a large bottle of whiskey resting in his right hand. The bottle was empty. Tidus stared at it with bewilderment. The last thing he remembered was Yuna shutting off the commsphere suddenly before she had the chance to tell him why they were so mad at him. Now he was sitting in an abandoned hallway, with a bottle of whiskey completely ran dry. "Am I going mad?" Tidus asked himself. He tried to stand up, but the familiar dizziness and headache of a hangover took over. Tidus groaned, but continued to stand up, using the wall for support. He threw the bottle of whiskey across the wall and began to slowly drag himself towards the door.

"Tidus, there you are," Rikku breathed. Her high pitched voice rang through Tidus's hurting head, causing him to flinch.

"What happened last night," Tidus grumbled.

"I don't know, you lost your temper and disappeared," Rikku told him. Once again her voice caused him to flinch. "Are you alright?"

"Hungover," Tidus growled. He slid down the wall, his legs unable to hold his weight.

"You were awfully upset," Rikku whispered. She knelt down to him and handed him a couple of pills. "Here, take these for the headache and if you sit tight for a minute, I'll go get you a beer," Rikku continued.

"Thanks," Tidus grunted. Rikku nodded and disappeared down the hall Tidus leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to remember everything that happened the night before. He remembered calling Yuna on the sphere device Rikku had and talking with her, but just as she was about to say something very important the picture shut off and everything after that was blank. He heard the familiar padding of feet again and Rikku appeared before him.

"Here," she said, shoving the beer into his hands. "That should help."

"Thanks," Tidus sighed. He opened the bottle and drank it slowly.

"Feel any better?" Rikku asked.

"A little thanks." Tidus said. He took another sip and stood up slowly. His head still felt fuzzy, but he could at least stand without falling over. His thoughts were a hell of a lot clearer though. "So, tell me. Will I be able to contact Yuna again?"

"I don't know. She cut off awfully quit, I fear that maybe Lulu found the device," Rikku said mournfully.

"Fuck!" Tidus growled and punched the wall. The pain that hummed in his head and entirely vanished, but instead, was replaced with a throbbing in his wrist. Tidus held his wrist, ignoring the pain. "She was just about to tell me something to," he recalled.

"Yeah…" Rikku sighed. She looked away and played with her hands. Should she tell him? She would much rather have her cousin tell him the news and shed light to the mystery that surrounded Wakka's attack, but there was no telling they would be able to contact her again.

"You know something, don't you!" Tidus hissed. He grabbed Rikku's shoulders and pinned her to the wall.

"Tidus, I don't know if I am the one that should tell you!" Rikku shrieked. His grip on her wasn't entirely tight, but it was enough to get his point across. His breath was strong against her face and his eyes began to water as tears began to fall. He fell against her shoulders, his body shaking uncontrollably.

"What is going on with me?" Tidus sobbed. Rikku pulled him closer to her and softly petted his soft hair, trying to console him in any way that she could, although she knew he really wanted Yuna's warmth right now. A slight pain of jealousy stabbed through her at the thought. She had to admit, she always had a slight crush on him.

"If we don't hear anything from Yuna by tomorrow night, I will tell you everything, okay? I think Yuna is the one that should tell you, that is why I am so hesistant," Rikku whispered to him.

"Tomorrow night?" Tidus asked. He pulled himself off of her and wiped the still falling tears with the back of his hand. Rikku stared at his face, despite being back for not even twenty-four hours, he looked like a mess. His usual vibrant blue eyes had turned to light shade of grey, only accented by the puffiness from his tears. He also looked tired, very tired.

"I promise," Rikku nodded.

Tidus pulled her into another tight hug, "Thank you."

Yuna opened her eyes to find herself in her tent. She sat up slowly and found Kimahri leaned up against the tent, fast asleep. He must have carried her pathetic body back sometime that night. Yuna sighed and flopped back into bed, studying the intricate patterns of the canvas above her. A huge emptiness floated inside her and she felt cold. Her body longed for the warmth of him more than anything in the world. She rolled on her side and curled up into a ball, the tears starting to fall once more. She cursed at herself for showing such signs of weakness, but knew she couldn't help it. She was torn away from the man that she loved and the father of the child that was now growing inside her.

She started to stroke her belly, thinking of the time she and Tidus shared together. She knew it was sinful, but there would never be a day that she regretted her decision. After all, she had no idea that she would be lying here today, carrying the child they created. Yuna clenched and felt the waves of nausea roll in. Her stomach retched violently, but there was nothing in her stomach to bring up.

Kimahri woke up from the sounds of her retching and sat next to her, slowly stroking her hair to try and soothe her. The retching stopped and she looked up at her beastly guardian, "Why can't everybody else be as loyal as you?"

"Kimahri know Yuna love Tidus and know that Yuna's baby is not a child of sin, but a child of love," Kimahri whispered. His blue lips rose into his rare, but delightful smile. Yuna couldn't do anything but smile back, despite the anger and sorrow she felt on the inside.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," Yuna whispered. She curled up closer to him, enjoying the warmth that he gave her and drifted back into sleep.

When Yunawoke up again, she found herself alone in the tent. The cold, dreary feeling of loneliness fell upon her again, causing her to shiver. However, she shrugged it off and quickly freshened up and took a step outside into the warm sunshine. The small village was bustling with activity, somewhat quelling the loneliness she felt inside, but not completely. She would never feel complete until he was standing by her again. She looked over at Wakka's tent and was somewhat delighted to see Wakka sitting outside it. He was badly beaten, but at least he was out of bed.

Yuna walked over, "Hello Wakka, how are you doing?" Wakka just grunted, not even looking at Yuna. Yuna just rolled her eyes and entered the tent. So he was going to be mad at her now too, just great.

Lulu was inside the tent cleaning up the breakfast she had made. Kimahri was sitting at the table, finishing up his portion. "About time you got up," Lulu grunted when she saw Yuna had entered. Yuna ignored the comment and took a seat at the table.

"Did Yuna sleep well?" Kimahri asked.

"Yes, thank you," Yuna said softly. She looked down at her stomach and started humming and rubbing it lightly.

"Don't you be touching that, that thing!" Lulu screamed suddenly. Yuna flinched at the sudden burst of anger, but regained her composure.

"Don't call my child a thing," Yuna growled.

"I can do as I damn well please. First it was created out of wedlock, but then it turned out to be the child of a maniac!" Lulu hissed.

Yuna sat up suddenly, knocking the chair to the ground, "I love him and there is nothing you can do about it! How would you feel if you were about to die without feeling the beauty and wonderful act of love?!" Yuna screamed. "And what about you and Chappu! You can't tell me that you two didn't do it!"

"Don't talk like that about me and Chappu!" Lulu threatened.

"Or else what?" Yuna noticed the commsphere sitting on the bureau next to bed. She went to grab it and Lulu tried to stop her, but Kimahri stepped up and blocked Lulu.

"Kimahri, you can't tell me you support this!" She said, in bewilderment.

"Yuna loves Tidus," Kimahri stated simply.

"And it doesn't bother you that he is a maniac?" Lulu growled.

"Wakka attacked him, Tidus was protecting himself," Kimahri said in defense. Lulu snarled at defeat and Yuna quickly ran out of the tent, the commsphere tucked gently under her strong arms. Kimahri followed her shortly after.

"Tidus?!" a voice suddenly called, waking Tidus from his uneasy dreams. "Tidus?!" the voice called again. He looked up and saw that the commsphere sitting on the desk in front of him had come to life. He jumped up and his heart skipped when he saw the beautiful face of his Yuna sitting in front of him. "Did I wake you?" Yuna asked sweetly.

Tidus rubbed the back of his head, trying to smooth his messy hair, "Yes, but that's okay. I am just glad to talk to you again. What happened last night?" Tidus asked.

"Lulu found me somehow and took the commsphere away, but I was able to get it back," Yuna explained, a triumphant smile plastered on her face.

Tidus smiled back, "You go girl!"

"I have decided to leave this place, so do you think it would at all be possible to come and pick me up?" Yuna asked.

"Of course! But will you be able to?" Tidus asked.

"I don't care, I can't stay away anymore. I NEED you!" Yuna cried. Her beautiful smile and radiance suddenly disappeared and Tidus saw how she was truly feeling. She looked tired and miserable. Her skin turned to a pale grey and her beautiful eyes were completely glossed over with sadness. She was broken. It was as if every piece of her had shattered like shards of glass. He wanted to be there in that moment to put the pieces back together.

"I will let everybody know and get there as soon and get everybody there quickly." Tidus told her.

Yuna wiped her eyes and her sweet smile returned once more, "Thank you."

"I love you," Tidus smiled.

"I love you too."

A/N: Well there you have it, Chapter 7. I hope you liked it. I know it was kind of slow, but it'll pick up next chapter, I promise! Please review and let me know what you think!!!